The "A+ in customer" made me laugh loud enough to startle my roommate 🤣

This made me laugh and sigh at once...

For the fourth time that I can remember, I came from getting fucked last night, with him jerking me after I started cumming only to get every last drop out. People need to know, so here I am shouting it from the rooftops.

Found some old celebrities I found hot. The French guy has since lost weight which is a legitimate choice, but I definitely found him most attractive at the weight shown in this picture.

I think it's funny when some guys seem to WANT to be as dull as possible 🤣 like no one OWES me an interesting conversation, but I think they'd WANT me to find them interesting, especially in a flirting context...

Ope 😂

I am so down with this, I hope this becomes a standard feature by the time I need a new phone, or I might switch back to Samsung

So, watching the trailer of the new Minions movie (presumably) and this guy is literally front and center: yeah, you don't paint on that much detailed body hair so lovingly unless you're a deeply horny animator, I (don't) regret to inform you

Love @theplumpcoverofficial on YouTube, so legitimately funny and I love his style. Doesn't hurt that he's an automatic "yes" if he wanted to bang. youtube.com/shorts/ZKMkC...

A hot man blocked me yesterday after I liked too many of his pictures (I think, he blocked me without saying anything), and I feel yelled at 🥺🥺🥺

A) ageism exists, and after spending the weekend with gay elders who are basically vagrants with low employment opportunities, it definitely affects the old, but also b) it sucks that I'm literally every meme about shitty millennial life...

Is it funny that I had to switch from "light red berry" to "light purple" on Google sheets when highlighting my completed work because all that red was making me angry?

My brother in law is watching the Turkish drama "eşref rüya" and introduced me to the character eşref tek, and...

So naughty. Getting drinks on a work night 🤭

Got into a "there are 4 lights" situation at work with a client, and dear God, I want to (metaphorically and/or figuratively) hurt somebody. Like you ordered what you ordered, we have a full refund return policy on unused stock, but no - someone MUST be wrong, and it's not going to be the client.

It's like 6 degrees celsius and I'm sweating. I don't know how I'm going to deal with the summer...

LOL

Let's not do the accounting on this one, I'm worried I'll owe more chocolate that I can expect in return 😅

Hello from work 😊

This is hilarious 🤣 but also, what class is this?

This made me laugh 🤣

The funny thing is, the last time I played D&D particularly, I personally chose Monk directly, so it kind of makes sense. A friend of mine pointed out that my top 3 are very studious characters. TBH, if academia wasn't as... www.idrlabs.com/dungeons-dra...

Last two days - I am feeling a bit ill, so it does make a kind of sense

I really think cats must alter your brain chemistry or something, I literally was thinking - unbidden - "Scamp is my best friend" like my feelings for her are too strong to just be the natural result of companionship, toxoplasmosis must generate love hormones in human brains or something...

How is Kaya-Chan Isn't Scary turning out to be my favorite anime of the season?

Me in 2020, I wonder what type of hat this is called? I think it looks nice

Don't share a lot of memes on here, but this one is too good to pass on...

I am not spiritual or religious, and an atheist in spite of myself. I sometimes write wishes and prayers in chats to myself as a way to get them out of my head and let me focus on life. Separately, I've been in an aromantic phase since my engagement ended, and honestly, I think I'm going to...

I love possums 🥰

In Arabic there's a word, شمت, which apparently means Schadenfreude, but is more active, like an abusive dog owner shoving his dog's face in its shit to "teach it a lesson" and this afternoon my usually nice accounting lady is pulling this on me, and like: just lay off and figure it out already

Sent this to someone I like 😘🥰

Alexei Sayle is hot - and Googling so far says he has political views I approve of. Yum!

Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy but isn't a selfie.

Not quite, but I think I'm on the right side of the tip of the bell curve 😛

The funny thing is I have told people that I'd fuck a better hung, more dominant, full-top clone of myself

Had a conversation recently with my family about pronouns, and we decided that (in addition to the other newly introduced or reintroduced pronouns) the neo-pronouns we'd most like to see are "we/us/ours (inclusive)" and "we/us/ours (exclusive)".

This is a miss for me, I really feel right now like living day to day is everything I can do right now

Love this, actually 😁

There's a joke in this, I think...

Okay, I'm diagnosed AuDHD and I think I have mild dyslexia/dyscalculia (or, when I'm tired, reading becomes a chore, but figuring it out requires another mental screening, and healthcare in Canada is only covered from the neck down) all this as a caveat to say:

I hold the current US political landscape to be absolutely abhorrent. That said, if anyone is crossing the border from the US to Toronto, and would like to bring me a banana bread from Cracker Barrel, I would like that very much. I think about it a lot sometimes...

I hate how accurate this is. 😆

This is a public service announcement.