im gonna delete this account, bye

i drank 3.5L of water yesterday thinking it would help me hold onto less water today and this shit isn't going anywhere im so mad

it worked im 0.1lb above what i was aiming for so that's a success

gonna risk it since water pushes water

my weight needs to go down 3lbs by morning and honestly idk if it's gonna. it's just water tho and water pushes water so maybe i should drink another half a liter?? im scared to tho so idk

i purged the last 3 days in a row i was doing so good but now im just getting worse i don't think I'll ever get better as long as i keep getting my period

her birthday is tomorrow not next week so

im making an ice cream cake for my sister's birthday next week and on Christmas im making my fiance a cheesecake and then i won't be baking anymore for awhile i think

German chocolate cake cookies and melted snowmen cookies

my fiance is buying me 2 plushies for Christmas 🥰🥰🥰

Hugs and kisses cookies!!

sugar plum cookies!! the jelly is a little ugly but i was rushing cuz i always think things will take less time than they do 😓

christmas tree

forgot to post earlier

making peppermint sugar cookie bars for my fiance that he won't want~

i don't think the purge i did earlier made a difference so ill just continue on as i was ig

im sad cuz i don't even hate how i look rn but i don't lose weight and im tired and I hate being bloated and idc I'm never recovering

purged after 35 days free. it should've been easy but it's harder than when i stopped. maybe cuz i didn't drink hot water before, but that didn't matter last time so idk

his mother's home. ik it's her house but her voice pisses me off. i think atp i just hate mother's

it took 3.5 hours and by that point it was really late and i got so nauseous from the whole thing that i was afraid I'd throw up if i ate so i just went to bed🥰

im so fucking mad i need 10 seconds to weigh myself and his mother won't leave the fucking kitchen i could kill myself rn im so mad ive been waiting for 2.5 hours

as soon as this water weight goes away and my body levels out im losing a bunch of weight

ugly picture cuz i was in a hurry, but snicker doodle cookies with an eggnog filling

i want to make cookies today but my mother will probably be cleaning the kitchen for awhile. hopefully ill be able to get in soon, but im not even home yet either lol

is this water drop ever gonna come... ive been holding onto a pound of water everyday by dinner so even tho im still restricting, I don't lose weight :/ idk if i need to drink more water or eat more. idc which it is really i just want my body to work normally im tired of restricting 😭

we grew up somewhere that snows all the time and now we live somewhere that snows 1-2 times a year if ever

feel like i ate too much

water needs to start watering

omg is someone awake does this match 😭😭😭

very cute and yummy so good i love 😍

i got my sister extra birthday gifts she's gonna hate and im so excited

oh and i made the pumpkin puppy treats on Thanksgiving, I was just also having a mental breakdown so I didn't take a picture

today im making peppermint brownies that I'll make my fiance eat cuz im making him love peppermint if it's the last thing i do

manifesting $100 so i can buy saya scarlet's patreon membership

im making a december manifesting list and i wanna add more "little" things but i can't think of any rn

when i use caps with a dry person and they reply with "hi" instead of "HIII" so now i look stupid

AND AND MY CLOTHES CAME (everything except the black shorts)

anyways my mother didn't take all the pies so i did get to take a picture

this is supposed to say cold btw

it's finally i can wear my winter Miku clothes

i forgot to take a picture of the mini apple pies and im not going home tonight oh well ig

i need help/advice. how do i manifest a fast metabolism when im terrified of gaining weight?? i mean I skip dinner often cuz i gained too much water idk how to know it's safe 😞 do i need to recover first or what?? im so tired i don't wanna be like this anymore but im terrified to stop

bulimia recovery is a bitch omg never be bulimic istg the recovery process is worse than the b/p hell

target was crazy btw. releasing a limited album on black friday as someone who knows will have no problem selling it is honestly one of the rudest things she's done

we're going to target to get ttpd im excited

i put it up but i didn't get to decorate it cuz my bf came to get me and i stayed at his house so ill do it today hopefully

i only gained 0.1kg im so relieved 😭💕 my ed talk is done until now the next mental breakdown

i feel so sick, goodnight. tomorrow will be better

im maybe gonna give up on this restricting thing. somedays i eat nowhere near enough and gain and somedays i think i ate too much and lose. the system doesn't work right, it's been 12 years and im tired

my new scale comes tomorrow and it should be more accurate. well technically it's less but with my underwear weight it's accurate and the scale i have now I'd have to subtract it which i don't so