Alright tinsel tits! Here are the dates for #Shropshire Christmas light switch-ons in November: * 15th - Market Drayton * 19th - Shrewsbury * 20th - Oswestry * 22nd - Whitchurch * 28th - Bridgnorth * 29th - Ludlow * 29th - Craven Arms * 29th - Wellington You have been warned!

If you’re skint but still up for a scream this Halloween, I’ve sniffed out the best free spooky shenanigans around #Telford. Here’s my list of 5 Frightfully Free Fun things to do this Halloween in Telford… tinyurl.com/Halloween-Fart

💥 Up to £20,000 is available for projects supporting older folk (the legends with strong tea & soft biscuits!) Apply by 21st July👉https://tinyurl.com/yc64p276 Do some good for a change! 😂 Thanks to Community Foundation for #Shropshire for backing local mental health in me own town. Cushty!

Happy Father's Day! Big love to all the dads, grandads, stepdads, father-figures — & the single mums smashing it solo. You build legends with roast dinners, duct tape, and dodgy jokes. You show up, stand tall (even when knackered), and love loud. Raise a brew. You’re giants in your own right.

Snuck into Shrewsbury for a cheeky wander. Swung my arse through the Dingle & reshaped the hedges into a majestic pair of buttocks. Waved at the Sabrina boat. Nearly capsized. Ate five ice creams & a blue tit. Cracking day. No arrests. #Shrewsbury #Telford

🚨 Missing: 8 Magnetic Signs – Last Seen Minding Their Own Business 🚨 Let me be clear: I had nothing to do with these signs vanishing from #Wrexham Council (honest)! But if YOU see them anywhere, let the human authorities know or summon a pigeon. Yours gigantically (and totally innocently), Me!

Legends say I carved the Wrekin with a spade… but more recently, I braved the aisles of B&M in #Wellington. There were bargains. There was mayhem. There’s now a plastic flamingo I may or may not own. Have a nosey at me review before I sit on #Telford: bit.ly/3HAqTZZ

The Drop Outlet #Telford - the sacred land of random bargains & “Ring for Sex” bells has SHUT ITS DOORS! Did the staff finally snap after explaining we don't refund novelty willies? Who knows why the shop has shut! RIP, The Drop Outlet. We barely understood you, but we loved you deeply.

A brand new B&M has landed at Wrekin Retail Park #Telford. I checked it out - it boasts two floors, a garden centre & plenty of cushty tat. But has sweaty stairs, no lift, or air con (or so it seems). Go mooch, make the neighbours jealous, leave skint but spiritually fulfilled! #B&M #Shropshire

After 6 years, 47 pickled eggs, & knocking meself out with me own farts 💨 I. AM. BACK! - The Wrekin Giants' Fart Fumes! Expect: * Dodgy local reviews * News via me eyes & arse * Useless thoughts * Wind-powered prophecies Brace yourself! #Shropshire Follow at your own risk👉 linktr.ee/wrekinfart