An absolute all-timer of a game, pure drama, pure entertainment, Cape Verde were sensational. But we get more Messi at the World Cup, and that can never be a bad thing.

Score an incredible goal, run into the crowd with your head in your hands, kiss your girlfriend. Absolute scenes.

Best compliment you can give that goal is that it's genuinely Messi-esque. Wow

WHAT HAS JUST HAPPENED OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

FIFA seemingly leaking the idea of a schedule change, prompting scorn from both FAs, and then deciding not to do it is genuinely in keeping with what has been a complete disaster of organisation, so you can't accuse them of lacking consistency.

Security concerns, weather concerns, the whole thing has been a logistical farce, whatever you may think of the actual football. A completely bonkers off-pitch tournament.

Got tickets for a gig that night and Rachael looked me dead in the eye and asked 'what's your plan then' and... lads... help

Ange to Al-Nassr?! Christ alive, mate. I thought he had principles but alas

Actually made me cry, the bastard, the handsome bloody bastard. Obrigado.

Been eating good. And crying. Mainly crying. #LastFourWatched

Nonsense take. Goalkeepers are protected enough!

Obrigado Joao. A Spurs legend. Scored our most important Premier League goal in a generation. It won't be forgotten.

That piece of defending is some of the worst you will ever, ever see. What is he doing?! Stonewall

Nonsensical decision. Absolutely a penalty!

That's a penalty all day long!

How are England not 2-0 down?! This is worse than anything Southgate ever served up

England don't have anywhere near enough conviction in the final third. Madueke will take his man on, beat him, and then try to do it again; Rashford checks back constantly. Need some gumption to go beyond and then deliver a pass or shot. It's sorely lacking

England play like Thomas Frank's Spurs

Absolutely woeful goalkeeping from Jordan Pickford.

AN ALL-TIME PENALTY SHOOTOUT! PARAGUAY, YOU ABSOLUTELY CRAZY LADS, THAT WAS INSANE.

the Germans don't agree with it, but they'll have to go along with it

When my wife and I moved into our house, we had two DVD boxsets - one was The Simpsons, the other was The Good Life. We watched the latter so often we quote it daily. Penelope Keith was simply glorious, a powerful, shimmering example of comedic brilliance. May Christmas be delivered wherever she is.

Yes

This film genuinely blew my mind. I watched it last year and it could have been made yesterday; it's so relevant, so haunting, I think of it often.

If England don't win it, I fully support this outcome.

Seeing a Mokoena play for South Africa in 2026. What even is time?

My wife and I are both Zohran. Incredible. (I'm on the left, lol)

Booked my wife and I into a lovely Michelin-starred restaurant on Wednesday at 7pm so England better get the job done in the first half. (I know they won't but let me dream.)

Is this the first time at a major tournament that England have won the two games aired on ITV and failed to win the game aired on the BBC?! This is so niche but I need to know

Can't really argue with this. Mexico City is going to eat this lot alive if Senegal can be negotiated, and I'm not even confident of that.

Noticed this. So reliable normally too. Worrying

Job done. Honestly not sure at this point if England can beat Senegal but we're through and that's nice!

Much more like it! Some cross, great header.

Didn't even celebrate that. Nonsensical performance all the way around but we've Arsenal'd a set-piece goal so yay.

This is up there as one of the worst halves England have ever played at a World Cup. Nonsensical selection, don't look a proper team whatsoever. Just completely absent of thrust and ideas.

No Spence has robbed England of any thrust from deep. Tuchel has got this wrong. Again.

Quansah at RB instead of Djed Spence?! Utter woke nonsense

May Cody Gakpo and his family find a way to heal. Horrible news.

The best football documentary ever. And one of the very best documentaries ever full stop.

Maybe shouldn't have given it the biggun in the pub about Norway topping that group. Annoying!

Don't care about sports but I can't help but feel some pride at my countrymen's knack for completely out of order, unnecessarily vitriolic football chants

Lol. Angus Gunn being your goalkeeper at a World Cup is less than ideal, y'know

Vinicius Jr gets kicked! That's absolutely never a foul. Nonsensical

Scotland giving us the funniest comedy routine they've mustered since Billy Connolly was still touring

A potential Round of 16 tie between England and Scotland at 1am?! Christ lads

You have to say that is very funny

All Brazil aren't we

Terrible quality but this is the clearest video I can find of Djed Spence refusing to shake Partey’s hand 🫡