You can’t get biznaga candy anymore because the barrel cactus is going extinct. It’s protected by the Mexican Federal government, it’s against the law to harvest it. And now Olvera Street is an empty stage where Biznaga laughs and Biznaga plays.😢

Human: God, we need your help! God (puzzled): And you are? Human: I’m from Earth! God (after a pause): And that is?

Trump Supporter: If it had been me, I would’ve parachuted down to them boats! Then I woulda kicked them brown fishermen like blacks at a Mississippi lunch counter!🥶

Trump Supporters: Now why in the world are the Democrats mad at us? We are only guards at Auschwitz.☠️

You can’t make this stuff up! Hegseth: I saw two survivors in the water, so I sent the jets back to butcher them too! Kelley: I hope they suffered while they were being dismembered! American Public: Hmm. This doesn’t seem right.🤔

Reading Trump’s mind right now: Donald: Heh-heh, so far so good!

At lest Ronald Reagan went to bed to constantly sleep.

God: So what if you’re calling out every single bad thing that Trump is doing? I haven’t seen much Stopping Action yet, guys. What’s it gonna take!😠

Human Scientists: We will never see the Big Bang. Alien Scientist (showing photograph): Then what’s this? Human: Oh! Alien: And here’s a photo from before. Look at God, he’s waving at you!

George Orwell: Bet you wish you’d listened to me now, huh?😂

God: I want them to keep looking in that big telescope until they realize that everything they know is wrong.😉

Statue of Liberty: Give me your Scandinavians, your poor tanners, your freckled white people ….

The domestic terrorists are working on ridding the U.S. of the narco-terrorists.

Trump: I know nothing about what’s happening. What’s a boat?🚤

Teacher: Richie, what is the capital of America? Richie Rich: About 29 trillion.

Christ, you know it ain’t easy You know how hard it can be The way things are going, Trump’s making a monkey out of you and me.🐵

The American people dislike just about everything that Trump is doing and have pretty much zero say about it. Democracy, or maybe just a facade?

Let us not forget that America was born out of war atrocities against Native American people.

Trump has magic powers. He turned a Fox News Commentator into a Murderer.

Crapping Seagulls: Make America white again!⬜️

Woman: How come guys only date the worst, most preposterous women? Man: Have you taken a good look at the funny-looking guys you’ve been dating recently?😂

Sunday School Teacher: God made everything. Jonny (jumping up): That’s not true! God didn’t make little green apples!

First Republican: Give me one instance when letting illegals into this country is good! Second Republican: How about when Ronald Reagan let three million illegals into the country with a blanket amnesty? First Republican: That wasn’t good! Second Republican: He was a Republican! You can’t say that!

Reporter: Why does Hollywood make such stupid and shallow movies? Producer: We have to make things that people will spend money on.😉

First Reporter: We have to go somewhere to find out the opinions of typical Americans. Second Reporter: Let’s go to a bar.

2024 “We need an administration that reflects the true nature of the American people.” “Can we scrape up that many degenerates?”

Billionaires: Even if they get rid of Trump, we’ll still have all those billions that he’s all ready gotten for us!🤑

Tariffs: The latest sneaky trick that the Heritage Foundation has come up with to make the rich richer at your expense. Yes, they thought of it, Trump is just their errand boy. And once again, the Billionaires are vacuuming up your money. Wanna stop them? You should have voted for that Democrat. 🤷‍♂️

A Cro-Magnon travels to 2025 in a Time Machine and looks at a Republican. Cro-Magnon: Hey! Neanderthal survived!

Accountant: Are you a non-profit organization? Muhammad: No, Islam is a Prophet organization.

Wife: You’re not a big success! Husband: There’s only a thousand big successes in America, so I’m the rule not the exception!

If the human race was a city, there would be a few skyscrapers surrounded by millions of ramshackle shacks.

The more money that people have, the more they care about politics. The billionaires care the most of all because they have the most to lose, which is why they run politics in America. They want politics to themselves. In the future, the poor 99% will be barred from voting and from citizenship.

Here’s the thing, guys. No matter how many times you run Jill Stein, she’s never going to win. So play with the cards you’re dealt or leave the table.♠️

It is correct to say that Kamala Harris did make a fatal error when she failed to break with Biden over the Gaza policy. And that’s exactly why we are not going to be running her again in the next one. She was mainly good because she was not Donald Trump, and she wasn’t blameless in her own defeat.

Our gallant friends on the Faux Left thought that if they made Kamala Harris lose, this would somehow “help” Gaza. And thanks to their exertions, the Knesset is now in the Whire House. Brilliant. It is time that you folks learn that the Potato Heads who don’t care about Gaza don’t post on Bluesky.

Michael Corleone: If history has taught us a single lesson, it’s this: If you’re the President, you can commit all the crimes you want.

Martin Luther (standing before the Pope and his Council): Donald Trump is going to Hell! So help me God!

Abbott: The View is trash! Costello: What! What! Which of my views is trash!? Abbott: No no! They! Costello: What! My View is They? Abbott: No no! The View is a Newspaper! Costello: Ohhh! So now my view is a newspaper! You’re nuts! Abbott: I said the newspaper is trash! Costello: Then throw it out

Psychiatrist (to J.D.Vance): I’m sorry, I don’t think it would be helpful for you to lie down on the couch!

Frenchman: “Orleans”? Non, non, she is pronounced Ollayaw! Englishman: Then why don’t you write it that way? Frenchman: Mon Dieu, she is written zat way! Engleesh pronunciation is Sheety!💩

I maintain that so-called “leftists” who undermine the Democrats are actuallly helping MAGA. Now if you don’t like that statement, you are probably helping MAGA.🐍 Here I stand. I can do nothing less.

The Evangelicals who adhere to Christofascism are not real Christians. And the so-called “leftists” who do everything they can to undermine the Democrats are not real leftists at all. They are Heretics who have taken a very wrong path. And we all know it, we can see them quite clearly.

The people here who are saying “We are divided” were never with us in the first place. They are United all right … with Elon Musk. Bluesky is loaded with phonies, like teeming rats. Don’t be tricked by these false prophets. If they don’t want the Democrats to win, they want MAGA to win. Beware.

Georgia Voters: So why should we vote for you to be governor again? Marjorie: Because I’m not on the Epstein list. Opponent: No, you are. Marjorie: Doh!😱

American People: God, you shouldn’t blame us for Donald Trump! It’s our rotten system that produced this! God: I see. So I should blame your “rotten system” and not you? Are you a Sovereign Citizen, I’m hearing some world class malarkey right now.😠

Oh, so I’m in a “cult” just because I like Gavin Newsom. Well see here! I like my cult better than your greasy no-good cult that never wins anything. Now put that in your meth pipe and smoke it. You’ve got a few Californians who disagree with you in your farming states, Dayton.🤨

You’re angry at …. Jeffries!? WTF! Get rid of Trump first, Einsteins! You’re not keeping your eye on the ball! And until you do, you’re going to Strike Out!😠

Years From Now: Trump (looking out of barred windows at Fort Leavenworth): Well, at least they didn’t shoot me. But it galls me that I was overthrown by troops from New Hampshire. Friggin’ New Hampshire!

After this ordeal comes to its sorry end, we have to pass No New Trump Laws. This can never happen again. It is time for Americans to stop being lazy about their leaders. Fun time is over.