Hm. Teams has a little ⚠️ badge on it. But there's no notification. I can't figure out why there's a badge, I've dismissed everything. This must now be the top priority of my company IT department. Where do I submit a ticket with high importance.

Work gave me a touchscreen laptop I've never had a touchscreen laptop before what games are good for a touchscreen?

Having a propane tank filled up in Los Angeles and there's a guy ahead of me in line driving a cybertruck with a plain bbq propane tank and he's arguing with the clerk about whether the payment went through on his card, it shows on his phone but not on the business' tablet. Neither knows what to do.

I bought my van used. Went to get an oil change today and turns out it was registered at the oil change franchise by its previous owner. My van used to be owned by a Pentecostal Chruch.

God I fucking love Los Angeles.

I will never forgive capitalism for the shrinkflation/loss of the 32 ounce Gatorade. This was the ideal, perfect plastic bottle, and they took it from us.

Thanks, cookie. I hope so.

It's still 60° outside at 11:30 at night, perfectly cool but not cold, and there are so many flowering trees and vines just walking home from the bar that the air is sweetly floral for almost the whole way back, Los Angeles smells and feels amazing.

Last year I told my doctor about an ailment that was exacerbated by smoking weed and he was like "hm ok quit smoking weed" and I was like "no I like weed" but then this year I quit weed to apply for jobs and the ailment vanished and now I'm mad about how right he was but I can't smoke to calm down.

Oh wow this Lemon Lime 7-Eleven brand gatorade clone actually tastes like lemon AND lime. I didn't even know that was possible. Gatorade's been letting me down for decades and I didn't even know it.

Someone hit a hydrant in noho tonight.

3AM is just the wrong time for a lunar eclipse, sorry, I'm going to bed.

Cannot beat the weather in Los Angeles. I was historically vocal about hating it elsewhere, so I feel the need to continue not shutting the fuck up but in the other direction. It's goddamn beautiful out here.

"Know it like the back of your hand" and then I hold my hand up and check. Huh, lotta surprises back there. I wonder what this spot came from? Has there always been a hair there? Should really fix that cuticle.

Account with 30,000+ followers and 150,000+ follows followed me. Nope. Blocked. You can't operate at that scale and still be a person. No way. Big numbers please leave me alone, I want to use this site with the weirdos and real ones exclusively.

How does anyone trust the "my family is dying please donate" posts on here? Like I see no way of knowing that they aren't fully a scam but I see them getting reposted by follows often and like... are you just firing off dollars on blind trust? Did you know these people? There's so many.

Holy fucking shit Las Vegas sucks. Like you expect it to suck, and I did, but I was just completely unprepared for this scam of a town. overpriced and under quality doesn't even begin to describe how much it just fucking sucks here. If you have two brain cells, that's three too many for LV, stay out

"It's ok to ride fast. It's not ok to ride in a hurry."

All 10 of my knuckles have (mostly small) scars on them.

The time ball doesn't drop. It's clearly lowered gently. Takes 10 seconds to get all the way down and the pole ain't even long. I've seen flags get lowered faster. There has never been a ball drop, only a ball lowering. Start and end the year in actual free fall, none of this gentle letdown shit.

I would just love a May Day General Strike this year.

Fuck with security camera AI: After you use a self check out, grab your receipt, then move your hand as if to grab gum or candy off the rack but don't actually grab the candy, do a reverse magic trick where you act like you palmed a pack of gum. Make it look sus af for the camera but stay clean.

Why doesn't shampoo come in bars like the other soaps?

How many people should there be?

Notes from a minor motorcycle accident last week (I'm fine, it's fine): 1. Wear your armor. 2. Wear your fucking armor. 3. God bless Elastikon.

God I fucking love Los Angeles. What a city.

"Oh cool this person posted about my niche, let's see if they're worth a follow." Their feed, every fucking time: - repost about politics - repost a news blurb - repost about politics - repost about politics - repost about politics - Post about disliking their job - repost about politics

This bar has an exterior window in the men's room right alongside the urinal and every time I take a piss here I open that shit up wide.

Lost my headphones a week ago. Finally gave up and spent the money to order a replacement. Found the missing set 4 minutes after placing the order. Good to have spares though.

I live in a van and sometimes chill in a Home Depot parking lot because they have wifi and nice restrooms, and pretty often I get someone from ICE-out-of-LA taking a pic of my license plate while I'm there.

If bears could talk I bet even more men would believe they could win a fight against one.

Smoking a joint in the parking lot of a gun show. Observation: lotta cargo vests.

Love a good freight train horn in the night.

We got an inch of rain in Los Angeles last night/this morning and it's so cool. The LA river is now rapids, some streets are flooded, some streets are awash with dirt and gravel, the air is so clear, and everything smells fresh.

Cinnamon spice oatmeal for breakfast is a better way to enjoy the seasonal flavor than a cs coffee.

I'm kinda drunk, LA is a great city.

I hear "the seats suck" and I don't disagree but you know who's just yeehaw'ed my ass to my destination every time? Cheap shit budget domestic airlines. I've flown the premium guys plenty of times, I enjoy a good seat that reclines, the free ginger ale, but nobody's ever stranded me like American.

Deeply resent when my less-than-three's get turned into emoji hearts. My otherwise precise and servile communication medium has horribly perverted my expression, disgusting.

Yee(I am so tired)haw.

O'Hare predawn colorfully illuminated.

If I only buy one joint at a time I can tell myself each joint is the last joint and I'm always quitting.

I like Little Free Libraries but I don't think they should hit when I search "library" on google maps because I really want somewhere to sit for free with wifi and air conditioning and all I can find are 16 birdhouses with books in them.

Fucking love Los Angeles.

"Boom, tough actin' tinactin" is a memetic consequence of the state of pharmaceutical regulation and economic capitalism in the mid 90's, in this essay i will

When I was little, the summer I was finally big enough to handle a 50 lb grain sack myself was also the summer my dad started buying 70 lb grain sacks for me to use to feed the chickens.

Goddamn I love this city. Los Angeles fucking rules.

Tonight a 71 year old dude set the speed record for motoring The Great Loop (~6000 miles) alone in a single engine outboard jon boat shorter than my van, that's fucking awesome.

This Home Depot parking lot needs its own labor union.

When you cut someone off in LA, they use their horn. When you cut someone off in Boston, they use their gas pedal.

The whole nine yards of fruit by the foot.