That extra hour of sleep really wiped me out

The VVitch (2015) is a thanksgiving film

"IYKYK" FUCK YOU GIVE ME ALL THE INFORMATION!

Where'd Carl go?

Saying "orange man" is cringe on it's face, but the deeper implication is that they're Harry Potter adults and think that saying his real name gives him power and that's unforgivable levels of cringe.

Watching the Jimmy Fallon reality show and I'm definitely cancelling my cable plan tomorrow to ensure this never happens again.

It's spooky season and this might be the best caption ever

I’m cool with using LLMs for stuff like “writing regexes” but why would I use them to do things my brain actually likes doing and finds rewarding? why would I outsource eating a really good hamburger to someone else? that’s my fucking hamburger

Doubt

The song "Touch It" by Daft Punk is just a really long Carlin bit.

*yer

Elect me and I will make a sustained 2-beer-buzz a reality.

6 month haircut

Fuck I miss my dad, and it's worse when I get stoned.

acetaminoBen

The first time I heard Gucci Gucci by Kreayshawn is the last time I remember feeling alive.

Rubba dub dub thanks for the dub! 🎶 Reggae beat 🎶

This is nothing new but it's so much worse

Semicolons; when you have two connecting thoughts but are also lazy

Chewing my celery string like gum

Brace yourselves. Winter...and football and having to wear multiple uncomfortable layers is coming

My inheritance

A hyuck!

Rock. Robot Rock.

Semicolons; when you have two connecting thoughts but are also lazy

That hard sleep you go back to after getting up to poop; or deep shit sleep

This is nothing new but it's so much worse

I give smashing your finger with a hammer 2 stars

Rubba dub dub thanks for the dub! 🎶 Reggae beat 🎶

: modest mouse voice : 🎶 the screen time is killing me 🎶

Fragrance commercials are the dumbest form of advertising.

Happy 9/11!

South Park could do the funniest thing RN

I like how his final words were insinuating mass shooting statistics could be explained by gang violence (black & brown people)

At the end of my life I'll think "I didn't hang out in my hammock enough" and I'll be right.

I need the millennial pause cuz I'm never paying attention to the first couple words. Sometimes I let whole sentences go by.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. I'll knock on wood for you.

One of the two plants my dad planted before he passed turned out to be a male. Gonna save these seeds for next year and find out what this seed from 1990s brick weed is.

Winter, and pain is coming.

Tomorrow is Friday; for whomever it might just matter.

Help!

Thought it was Tuesday again. What a treat.

Me ghosting my hit in front of my niece.

Sometimes I'll be on bumble or the like and see something like "Jesus First!" and panic swipe left for like 3 people after that just to get away.

If the wing place ever closes by where I live, I will go full sky king.

I miss those trivia games on the tvs in bars

I'mma go clean my gun

Gonna start House of Leaves again. If I'm not back in a month, send a rescue team.

Gob Bluth's suit bit, but now it's true because of the tariffs.