Unbelievable cringe for today: new Model Y with STARK plate

Have not paid attention to the Widdecombe stuff as she was a horror and I have better things to use my limited attention span on. I really don’t want to know and I really wish it would disappear now.

Asked Google AI what male tennis players had reached the final of all 4 grand slams. It omitted Andy Murray and I asked why and it accused me of trying to trick it.

Disembarking from the Norwegian hype train

Choo choo

Nice!

ITV - what if the worst elements of British tabloid journalism congealed into a TV channel.

Just tell him to fuck off Tuchel

Tuchel there, increasingly looking like Mr Burns

Stadium DJ absolutely taking the piss

Let us never speak of this game again

You have to feel for the Norwegian fans who have spent thousands watching this game. Those three beers in Oslo putting you into generational debt, all for nothing.

So, when I said Haaland is going to mop the floor with you what I really meant was…

Exciting to think how knackered every player in the final will be regardless of team.

The posting has dramatically thinned. A mark of the game quality.

Lee Dixon sounds like a man who is busy playing Candy Crush on his phone and will occasionally look up to see what’s happening on the pitch h.

Ref mercifully trying to kill the game

You could offer to settle this via a coin toss and I think the players would go for it. Everyone looks knackered.

Thirst break

Sad to see the singer from Underworld coming off

The rowing might be historically inaccurate but as far as I am aware no lion let alone three have roamed the Home Counties. CHECK AND MATE

Not sure you have crammed enough adverts in ITV

If I was a pundit I would simply note Tuchel forgot to pick a fit and healthy defence, sit back in my chair, drink my drink and scan social media while Roy Keen stared in amazement at my efficiency.

Hydration break

Lots of closet Norwegians in Scotland judging by the number of flags up.

The Forth Bridge is failing to render today

I am sure this will work when a guillotine is cheaper than a vote www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Some subtle life advice from Winnie The Pooh

Nice flag in the Spanish end there

If the keeper hoofs it straight out of touch it should be a line out at the 22

Was that Courtney Love?

Hydration break

Obligatory “Why does Lukaku the largest Belgian not simply eat the other 10?”

Referee should have decked him

I have been up since 3.30am. It is very, very warm. I am taking some 8yr olds to a museum. A Lego store has been involved. We are now having to listen to an excitable chipmunk interviewing people queuing for a new make up shop nearby.

Just saw a man offer a cigarette to a seagull, and it took it

Came across a doggy day care that had a giant bouncy castle in it. What a life.

Just had to walk past an abattoir. Worked in one as a summer job at high school and that smell emboldened by the summer heat should be bottled and sold as motivation to work hard at school so you never have to work in an abattoir.

People who think the Larry the cat account is both clever & funny also think Count Binface is clever & funny. They also have at least one Live, Laugh, Love picture in their home.

Current status: my brain simultaneously wants to fight itself and also leak out of my ears

Finished a run of 7 days nightshift yesterday morning. I slept for 4 hours after (8-12), went to bed at midnight flooded with melatonin and my brain let me have 2 hrs sleep. I’ve been up for hours and my brain is being an absolute dick.

So the US/Iran truce was really whilst at least one of them was left in the World Cup? Belgium you monsters!

I suppose they can’t all be classics

Thirst break

The Binface banter is atrocious.

ITV disappoints me every time I don’t see Lightening McQueen when that song plays

Can I be critical of Luis Diaz or will the scousers shout at me again?