This makes sense given the soulless ghouls I know who moved there

Love a £250 vet bill to start the week.

There are far too many very tedious accounts here.

Well this feels incredibly sad. Scotland rugby great Hastings dies at 61 www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-...

Shite.

“Override the flag”

Big rodents round these parts

Somebody in the neighbourhood is already pumping out Hearts tunes

Love tinkering with my Fantasy Football team and seeing players I removed get 4 goals & 4 assists in a single match

Brewdog “Hey chumps! Thanks for the money. Eat, or maybe drink shit as we continue to use you.”

Read this as Streaking, which would be a bold strategy

They are getting arsey about this now as the CEOs feelings were hurt by a skeleton crew on a Friday before a bank holiday weekend. The impact of fragile egos knows no bounds.

Ironic that an orange man obsessed with shiny things is draining the colour out of the world www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Friend is convinced Starmer will win people over if he ‘stops the boats’. He didn’t seem to grasp the people who want the boats stopped will next want group X kicked out the country, then group Y…Z etc

Mahmood just loves telling people to fuck off, doesn’t she?

Found some ancient artefacts (shite) whilst excavating a tomb (my storage closet)

I can’t believe Spurs did the classic Spurs thing again.

Cobalt Maiden

At a junior cricket lesson with Muppet Jr and I am beginning to understand why Scotland does not have much of a cricketing presence.

He’s toast, isn’t he?

Since buying an electric car I now understand why nobody uses those Pod point chargers in Tesco car parks. Utterly pointless having 7kw chargers outside the home.

Thanks to Sky News I now have Freddy Mercury and David Bowie singing 🎶 “Starmer Pressure”🎶 which is forcing my brain to rewrite the chorus and my body is rejecting it.

Can’t even do a coup without flip flopping. Useless.

Excited to see how much group think has gone into this speech.

My new jeans are pigeonholing me

Hotel Dog! Flopping at my feet!

Some way short of my $7.175bn valuation.

Real fight starts now

Voted with a pen #usepens

Scum

Have valuations been stretched in quality? (No terminal and not in the information vortex these days). Seems bonkers that quality stocks are the ones tanking in this environment, unless the multiples were sky high of course

Me, looking at the building site across the road: “How on earth are they going to tidy up all that rubble?” Me looking under the floorboards of my Victorian era house: “Ah!”

Penny for Jack Grealish’s thoughts

The BBC going all out to tempt fate

This feels like the optimal result to fuck over my Fantasy Football team.

It seems that #SPD, Greens and the Left in Germany have collectively left X today.

Cut my finger. Had to put an Elastoplast on it. We only had Minions themed plasters. Kevin now looks like he has an extreme case of conjunctivitis.

If I was Chelsea I would simply spend hundreds of millions on new players and hire an up and coming manager. Then do the same again in 6 months time.

Put a bit of pineapple on that gammon

Ban private jets but allow flying saucers , just to see how long it takes before we get the technology

How’s the peace prize my man?

My “Mythos Is not a Doomsday Device” T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my t-shirt

Tu ne peux pas te garer là, mate www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Post a random cool car photo you took on another year, with no explanation. 2017

Just read the Mumford & Sons dude thing about mining one of the worlds busiest shipping lanes.

Advertise your account with a Simpsons image

I don’t know what is going on here or at work, but my brain wants to escape.

OH NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE <checks notes>oh actually carry on.

My brain: “Lovely day this…” “I should think of a problem…” “Perhaps one I have already solved multiple times but make it a slightly different flavour of the same problem…” “And we should spend more money on things to solve this solved problem in a slightly different way!”