You need this today. www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9CF...

I caught you a delicious bass It was a real big fish

I could really use a ska concert

Are raves still a thing?

I just saw that theyre planning a pork BBQ on the sidewalk outside a mosque here.

Dont engage with idiots online Dont engage with idiots online Dont engage with idiots online Dont engage with idiots online

I hope a brawl breaks out at my funeral.

Have you talked to your children about Valhalla?

What's up?

Do you think jellyfish are sad that there is no peanut butter fish?

(in case anyone doesn't know - it's #CanadaDay 🫎)

Blue collared workers will never understand how uncomfortable it is in the office when the air conditioning is a little too high

Chocolate milk is the best liquid to blow bubbles in.

I somehow acquired a third contact lens this morning. I went to put my right one in and there was already a contact lens in there. I have no idea where this third one came from.

You just lost the game.

Today is not a day for pants

Knox Met rings bells sometimes multiple times a day, no one bats an eye. Muslims want one call to worship once on a Friday, everyone goes apeshit.

Gimme all your memes

This world cup would be better if they made the field smaller and moved the nets.

I'm at risk of being murdered

Ska is for lovers.

Midwest emo will always hit the hardest

Coffee. Big Fan. *This post was not written by AI

I hate to admit it but Jared Leto was an ok Skelator

Dog eats grass Dog throws up grass Dog maintains eye contact while eating more grass

You know what show I hated? Teddy Ruxpin Fuck him

Seth Rogan just out here rebooting all my childhood dreams

THE LITTLEST HOBO IS GETTING A REBOOT. I REPEAT THE LITTLEST HOBO IS GETTING A REBOOT.

Gonna import rats to Alberta

Why do we have two nostrils? Wouldn't it be easier if we had one big one

The dude in the stall next to me keeps taking pictures and im confused.

I wish people would say "Biiiiggg stretch" when I stretched

I’m trying to hold it together, I’m trying to sleep through the night I’ve got my windows open to the weather, and I keep telling my friends I’m alright Yeah I’m trying to hold it together, trying to take the first step Into the arms of wherever, whenever

Fuck you Florida

Grounding sheets

But @sammobile.com i dont want my phone to be smarter than ever.

Its weird when someone next to you is watching loud TikTok videos in public

Why do cookies make milk taste so much better?

Ate my lunch by 9:30 today. How's your day goin?

I would like to block all numbers from Florida

I got the mic and you got the mosh pit

I just pulled a muscle yawning

Is there a middle west?

I think its about time i joined a cult. I am going to start playing pickleball

I need to invest in a pair of jorts

She's the kind of girl that names her ticks.

A/S/L?

I asked Heaven for mercy and it sent me you. So I stay damned.

Hear me out. Shake n bake hotdogs

Anyone else on gander? Follow me