My funeral will have the best egg salad sandwiches.

Has anyone ever tried nachos but replace the chips with Hawkins Cheezies?

Question: For those who wear glasses on the regular, do you take them off when you poop?

99% of the time a Canadian team win's the Grey Cup. Are they other countries even trying?

Gas is pricey but the route to my work on bike is too dangerous. Blah

I've been to work three times, forgot my laptop, mouse then decided to work from home and spilled coffee all over me. Today isn't starting out great

I understand two factor authentication but I also hate it.

Ask Jeeves is officially dead

RCAAN Posted photos of Clark Bezo and Dan Rasovish at their gala last night. So that's fun.

Winamp really was the pinnacle of human engineering.

My AI chatbot girlfriend left me.

I'm pretty upset we came through Y2K unscathed.

My AI chatbot girlfriend left me.

Another day, Another breakdown, my bank account has got me stressed out

Winamp really was the pinnacle of human engineering.

I don't even understand the new CFL playoff format and I think it's stupid.

I could use a pizza

Would you still love me if I was a mime?

Hear me out. Jet Ski Jousting

I always thought Zebrahead should be bigger than they are.

I am so tired of winter

Beavers are cool.

Pretty sure If need be, I could take a penguin.

It humours me that people think the Better Business Bureau does stuff.

A very special Happy Earth Day to everyone posting AI generated "happy earth day" graphics. Amazing job. You definitely get it.

If brussels sprouts were a sound it would be nails on a chalkboard.

I was promised devilled eggs. I go there and there was no devilled eggs. Riot

So like fish are dumb. I can't imagine Aquaman has stimulating conversations with them. Maybe dolphins, but he isn't like discussing Don Quixote with a trout.

Quit internet stalking me

Make the Western Interior Seaway Great Again!

That whimsy I tell you, powerful stuff.

"What music do you listen to?" "Ska." "I've never heard of it." "There's dozens of us, and we love it."

Honk for He-man!

“you need to learn how to use ai” what the fuck are you talking about, how hard is it to type a prompt

Why does Waldo only wear stripes? He doesn't want to be spotted

Love when your phones like "hey look what we found!!" And its just a slideshow of your failed relationships.

Politician-worship is so bizarre. You know how you support politicians? You vote for them. If you're really down with their ideas, you volunteer for their campaigns. Give 'em money. Put up a sign. But at what part of that process do you surrender your right to criticize them? They. Work. For. Us.

DM's are open

I can't talk, I have socks on.

Shane Falco deserves another shot.

Do as I say, not as I spiral.

Schrodinger's Strait

“We are in a time of economic war, and getting a clear Parliamentary majority is hugely valuable. We cannot act like this is a crisis and then purity test the Conservatives who cross. Either we have the luxury of pickiness or we don’t. If it’s a crisis, we don’t.”

Seth Rogan just out here bringing back all my childhood favourites like a boss.

I'm practicing a powerpoint and the powerpoint coach keeps telling me not to use profanity.

Happy Rex Manning Day to those that partake!

Happy International Beaver Day

BRB The Nutman is here.

How can you tell if someone has a voodoo doll of you?