I bet it's mad people in jail right now thinking to themselves 'damn if I would have just been a bitch for 10 seconds I could be home right now eating hot pockets"

open.spotify.com/episode/6y4Y... episode is out!

open.spotify.com/episode/3Sir... new episode out today go watch

When I "stand on business" I get shorter cuz life be hard sometimes.

Albino fact #27: Only 3 albinos throughout history have been arrested for trying to molest the sand castle. #albinofacts

open.spotify.com/episode/39n3... new episode out now!

I love my #rams but I fucking hate Thursday night football! It's not enough time to rest. And also it fucks up fantasy. Yeah I know I heard it.... #nfl

One of the mos raggedy things about being a #blackalbino is having to convince people that I can get lynched too. #disrespect

Hey ladies, why y'all got that Camel toe middle crease In so many of y'all pants And leggings? Is it functional? Like keepin the door cracked open so you can get a little breeze on the biscuit? Or is it just for Aesthetics. Because it looks inconvenient and uncomfortable and I don't understand it.

Do you think if #AmeliaEarhart's name wasn't Amelia we would remember it? Like if her name was Brittany. Brittany Earhart..... nah that kinda hits the ear wrong. Never mind...

I remember one time I asked a co-worker where the boss was and he said "man I got my shoulders in my ears?" I just now understood what he meant.

New episode out now . open.spotify.com/episode/0Ijn...

It's crazy how many smart people died believing that the world was flat

If you use speaker phone in public I hope you loose your ID.

Phoenix, pull up! www.micdropcomedychandler.com/shows/301676

People always be saying "if you hit him hard enough he'll never do it again" like ain't nobody ever been to jail twice.

It's going down tomorrow night in Sacramento. Pull up! #comedy #Sacramento #standupcomedy #nathanhurdcomedy

You ever itch your balls for so long your hand get tired? I think I need a shower.

Crack make you do some crazy things apparently.

I want my first acting award! Best actor in comedy series. It was for my part and a pilot I did we're trying to get picked up called don't look now! 😁

Get your tickets now!

Doo doo doo doo doo 45 47! 😁😁

Get your tickets now!

I know that love exists because i am here and i am full of it🙂

Check out the most recent episode of 12 minutes of nonsense. open.spotify.com/show/2L0hthj...

Comedy clip: I dont fight no mo.

Friendly reminder yawning can be contagious even across species. So your cats can make each other yawn and that's delightful.

Damn it took me not being able to go on #tiktok to realize how trash #Instagram really is haha it's terrible!

If you're always right that means somebody's lying to you.😁

I saw a Amish baby.

Yo get you an autistic girl. They pack snacks!

I just farted so hard it got my pants hot. My booty out here sweatin in cold weather. Disrespect!

Today I will be a fat lazy bitch watching football. Don't bother me unless you have nachos.

Buying weed in the '90s was scary. You ever have a weed dealer so scary you call that nigga sir? I have. #timesbechangin

Sometimes my penis be tryin to eat itself. #disrespect

Why didn't nobody tell me that when I got older my balls was goin get long. #disrespect

Fort Worth Texas! Pull up tonight! search.app?link=https%3...

Sending dick pics is the coward's way. You wip that shit out in Walmart like a man! And you accept the consequences. It's weird either way.

If I get a bad grape out of the "to damn many grapes" I'm probably eating, it'll ruin my whole weekend!