No wonder DJT took that shot in the ear so well (allegedly). He spent the 90s taking shots to the back of the throat with Bubba

Diet Coke is a fridge cigarette. Social media is a phone cigarette. AI is a computer cigarette. Capitalism is an economy cigarette. I won’t be taking questions.

Terrible things are happening outside. At any time of night and day, poor helpless people are being dragged out of their homes. Families are torn apart; men, women and children are separated. Children come home from school to find that their parents have disappeared. - Anne Frank

I’ve made a lot of jokes about politics recently but that’s because — if I’m being honest — I thought this Trump admin would be bad, but in the same hilariously inept way it was bad in 2016. Spicer hiding in the bushes, Scaramucci kind of bad. But idk if there’s anything funny about this now

ADHD testing update: I’ll have you all know I made it to the first appointment and was only 15 minutes late! They did tell me that I made the appointment for TOMORROW, not today and I just didn’t pay close enough attention to the date but still

Since sitting down to read an hour ago: Glasses of wine: 2 Anime T-shirts ordered: 5 Social media posts: 4 (and counting) Tik Toks watched: 37 Pages read: 0 But I mean, how do you not buy this t-shirt?

I’m learning that a lot of things about me that I thought were just quirky little goofs are actually debilitating symptoms of mental illness

Beyond some questionable advertisements, my fyp has felt like it’s gone WAY WAY left. Like to the point I’m getting bored of politics. Either fears that the algo has changed were unfounded, or the changes are way more insidious than previously thought

“No no no he said ‘sieg hi!’ not ‘sieg hiEL!’ He was just saying hello!” - our nation’s esteemed d students

Tell anyone defending Elon Musk to film themselves doing the same “wave” and upload it to the internet. Tell them to share it with their friends and family and employer. If it’s not so bad, what could happen?

Your get out of jail free card is here

To everyone who keeps commenting that they named their “vibe” “Andrew”, I know what that means. I googled it. And it does NOT mean “vibe” as like “general feeling about something”

*through tears* you know what? hell yeah

Getting a new social media app is a lot like starting a new relationship. There’s a lot of rigmarole: you have to get to know it, it has to get to know you. Eventually it sells your personal data to an adversarial government and faces legal sanctions as a result… tale as old as time, really

Someone said “Andr3w, I want you to break my back so hard I become radicalized against the US healthcare system.” Wtf, beloved?

TBH, if I were Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, my petty ass would’ve told those bitches to fuck right the fuck off. Call me “Pinocchio”? Don’t invite me to play Monopoly? Good luck out in the fog lmao. Don’t go the wrong way and end up stranded over the South Atlantic, babe 😘

When you look at the lengths they’re going to in order to solve the UCH shooting just remember: they could also go those lengths to solve our healthcare crisis. They’re choosing not to

Bro I can’t do these Chiefs games anymore. I mean yeah we win but my heart can’t take it. Doinking it in for the game winning field game is some diabolical work from the script writers

No more confusing feeling than finding out you’ve been blocked by someone you already didn’t like. It’s like being given the finger by someone who cut you off in traffic — hey, man, YOU are the asshole here!

Kelsier??? #mistborn

*youth pastor voice* You know, I know a man who was “Spotify wrapped” in the Holy Spirit. And it just so happens he was born around this time…

Taking a break from social media for the holidays (this post notwithstanding) and life is significantly sweeter, I fear. Gonna go ahead and do absolutely nothing with this information

Officially at the age where I accidentally fell asleep sitting up in the living room after the Thanksgiving meal. And you know what? It was the best sleep of my god damn life

Every few hours I switch between praying this country doesn’t burn down next year and praying this country burns down right this very moment, depending on what I’m reading

Constantly playing a little game called: “Is It Avoidant Attachment Disorder or Are Fictional Characters Just Way Hotter?”

Two years ago I decided I wanted to lose 5 lbs so I started running 3x per week and lifting weights 3x per week. Since then, I have gained 20 pounds and gone up two shirt sizes and four pant sizes. I’ve done it. I’ve accidentally gotten bulky.

If you’re thinking BlueSky is wonderful without all the MAGA losers, just think about how wonderful your life would feel if you cut them all out completely

I need a haircut but all the example pictures are AI now? Y’all I cannot be going into a barbershop with a screen grab of a computer generated hunk and say “make me look like this absolute BEEFCAKE”

Idk why people love to say I’m condescending (that means “talks down to people”)

Bluesky 🤝Andr3wsky