Props to the players for driving this.

Forest. What. The. F.

Today is Romain Esse's day off the bench.

JP got to do a French BOOM and that's just lovely. Hopefully he comes back without his shoelaces tied together like he did against Everton and that goal might just do it.

Cape Verde have just become the smallest country by area to ever qualify for the World Cup. The nation is smaller than 49 of the 50 U.S. states and could have fit into the Soviet Union — the largest country to ever play at the World Cup — 5,554 times.

A thread of inspirational quotes from two of my idols: Kemi Badenoch and Ange Postecoglou (uh-oh, I may have gotten some mixed up... or have I??) 🧵

Oh well. It had to end at some point and we didn't really play badly and should have been well out of sight by the hour. Onwards.

Yep.

brb off to play golf in 60mph winds. If I'm not back by sundown, please inform my family.

Yeremy and Daichi 4eva

Craig Gordon really doesn't look great for a 42 year old professional footballer. But good luck to him.

Also, Manchester United Football Club being shit will never not be funny - the line on Amorim being shocked at getting mugged is a belter www.theguardian.com/football/202...

Now is completely the time to get carried away as a Palace fan because this never happens - we're going to win two trophies this season, qualify for the Champions League and colonise Mars.

❤️

97 - Timed at 96:59, Eddie Nketiah has netted both the latest winning goal on record (from 2006-07) scored by Crystal Palace in the Premier League and latest winner conceded by Liverpool in the competition. Drama.

🍆 #cpfc

Yes, you could win a plane trip to Palace v Brighton flying from Gatwick to Biggin Hill!

I watched this earlier. It's a beyond damning account of the Tories' "handling" of the COVID contracts. Heads need to roll.

There are too many awards ceremonies. Bin them off.

When can we start talking about Justin Devenny being the best penalty taker in football's history?

Top tier tat. Shame they didn't spell WINNERS as WINNNERS for authentic Wembley vibes.

Looking forward to Esse's redemption arc when he bails us out in December in a PL game after the away trip to Strasbourg. Well, that's what I hope for anyway - Glasner is right though digging a player out publicly never sits particularly well.

Stats like this just do it for me...lovely stuff.

I see Sheffield United are in their Roy Hodgson phase.

Bob Sanchez is not a very good goalkeeper.

Uche and Pino look like lots of fun. The latter has got some tremendous shittery about him. Nice.

Kamada with a pass that needs to be pixelated on MOTD later. Filth.

The Pino-Mateta-Kamada trio up top could be quite fun.

i see america still hasn't done anything about their gun problem but the dog whistling is still working

Government in waiting. Apparently.

what the...

Sky Sports News talking to influencers in their bedrooms. We've jumped the shark.

Uche. Loan. Done.

Well. Now then.

Guehi canvot with our blessing. Or something.

Ah, the Édouard unveiling video was great. He gave us that at least.

I think this is where I am. The timing, obviously, is hideous though and I hope whoever comes in at centre back gets off to a positive start - they won't be on Guehi's level initially but hopefully they learn the systems and patterns quickly.

I'm sure Bryan Gil moves on loan every deadline day to the point he should be wearing a yellow tie in his unveiling videos.

Don't want Marc to go but I'd love him to be replaced by someone who looks like a hard bastard with echoes of Monk from Mean Machine.

Marc Guehi STUNNING GOAL v Aston Villa | 17 angles | UHD | 4K | Dolby Surround Sound That's what I'm waiting for anyway.

The quintessential Palace under Glasner performance. Long may it continue.

Unai Emery's transformation into Alan Partridge is almost complete.

Marc Guehi is left footed btw

'Dibu'

I think we risk it and keep Guehi for the greater good. If we lose him now, I think we lose Glasner the minute a bigger club comes knocking - it'd be the last straw given his very public comments.

This is a zinger.

Yezza! #cpfc

Giorgio will now be cryogenically frozen until the next UEFA draw.

European football draws but with paintball guns, badly conceived dance choreography and stale biscuits. It'd be better than this, whatever this is.