The French guy saying "SHUT UP SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH AND LET ME FINISH" should get an Oscar for his performance

The Jets transcend everything. They will lose the football game whether or not I am watching them lose a football game. This is what was initially expected. Good job to myself for not watching them lose a football game.

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD

The Jets cannot ruin my Sunday if I don't watch them ruin my Sunday

Does this qualify as Morning After Thoughts? #RCTID

My recap of yesterday's loss. #RCTID

Post-game quotes from Phil Neville. #RCTID

Post-game quotes from Eric Miller. #RCTID

Perspective is definitely needed. The season isn't over, but the Timbers' repeated habit of playing down to the level of their opponents is the reason why they're not in the top four. They're still a playoff team. However, they don't strike fear into the hearts of anyone. #RCTID

One team really wanted to win. They won. One team was content to save their urgency for second-half stoppage time. That team lost. #RCTID

In order to score a goal, you have to go forwards. This is a pretty well-known fact, and most teams (aside from Portland) are familiar with it. #RCTID

In a shift that probably should've occurred a lot earlier, Antony is now playing right back. #RCTID

All the Timbers need is to shoot the damn ball. Rojas knows that! He understands! Why are they so risk-averse while only being down one goal? #RCTID

I'm dumbfounded that Miller didn't cross that. Portland flooded the box, and Miller still chose to recycle. Obscene. #RCTID

Velde is not happy after being subbed out. 3 changes for Portland's spine (Kelsy for Mora, Chara for Velde, and Paredes for Ayala). #RCTID

Da Costa has dropped into the midfield alongside Ayala after the introduction of Rojas. Not a fan of that. #RCTID

No issue with the Rojas-Ortiz sub. Thought Ortiz was bright, but a very bad yellow card decision probably necessitated his early removal. #RCTID

Severe lack of urgency in the first 10 minutes of the second half. First pass after forcing a turnover usually goes backwards. Not a recipe for success. #RCTID

Halftime thoughts from my couch: Asking Eric Miller to play the Juan Mosquera role hasn't worked before, won't work in the future, and definitely isn't working today. Would've been an "OK" half if they managed to get to the break tied at 0. #RCTID

Free header for Ponce. 3 players around him. No one jumps besides the Houston striker. 1-0 Houston, 44th minute. Terrible time to concede. #RCTID

There's Da Costa's first major involvement. Liked the idea behind that cross, but it looked more like a hospital ball in the air. #RCTID

"Dynamo trying to build around Portland's pressure, or at least the look of it." -Neil Sika's accurate statement #RCTID

Odd for that foul to be a yellow card, but it's a definitely a foul. Don't like surrendering free kicks from this area of the pitch with McGlynn standing behind the ball. #RCTID

That's a really pretty sequence, but Antony chooses to take a touch and loses the angle on Bond. #RCTID

Seems like Antony is charged with pressuring Sviatchenko when Houston is playing out of the back. Kind of a mind-boggling choice. Opens up way too much space on Houston's right. #RCTID

3 relatively serious chances for Houston in the opening five minutes. They're pulling Portland's out-of-possession shape apart. #RCTID

Camera angle seems a little higher than it usually is for a Houston game. Not complaining in the slightest. #RCTID

❌ The starting fullbacks are OUT tonight Juan Mosquera (ankle) picked up a small knock in training Friday. While Jimer Fory is dealing with hip soreness. Per team source, neither injury is considered long term #RCTID

Expect this to play like a 3-2-5 in possession with McGlynn inverting and Dorsey pushing up. Urso replaces Artur. Best available team given the absences. #RCTID

Mosquera and Fory aren't in the squad at all. Ortiz starts his second consecutive game. Mora gets the armband, and he'll play in front of an Antony-DDC-Velde second line. #RCTID

GOOOOOOOOOD MORNING PORTLAND IT IS A TIMBERS MATCHDAY IN HOUSTON

My preview of tomorrow's match. #RCTID

Ben Olsen is also suspended due to yellow card accumulation. #RCTID

Injury report for tomorrow. Timbers copy and paste their absences from last weekend. A lengthy list from Houston, with Artur's suspension the only non-injury absence. #RCTID

Not necessarily a bad result, but a bad performance. Ugh. #WBA

Yay Heggebo! Terrible goalkeeping! Can they grab another and leave with a very undeserved point? #WBA

So bad at tracking runners. That's a good team goal, sure, but it's very preventable. #WBA

First half: an exhibition of very bad first touches #WBA

Two players attacking the target of the throw, Mepham double-marking, plenty of space in the middle, Heggebo a half second too late, too easy for Boro #WBA

Nevermind, it appears that Molumby is playing as a 10. #WBA

Is this Paramount lineup graphic actually putting Diakite at left wing? It's a back three, for crying out loud! #WBA

Portland's updated Roster Profile has been released. Velde and Carballo are both occupying DP slots, while Mati Rojas is not a TAM player. The GAM total won't be released until September 22nd. #RCTID

This is the second game that Seattle and Miami have played against each other this season. In both, the visiting team has had two days of rest and a cross-country flight. Pretty ridiculous scheduling, in my opinion.

The New England Revolution will not win MLS Cup in 2026. Some of you probably already assumed that, but you can't fire Caleb Porter before Year 3.

Using the phrase "heroic comeback" for a game where Cincy took the lead, allowed an equalizer, and retook the lead at home is nasty work. Congratulations to the Portland Timbers for their "heroic comeback" against the New York Red Bulls this weekend.

My recap of yesterday's win. #RCTID

CBS just did my job for me and switched from the Jets game to LA-Tennessee. They knew I couldn't do it myself.

Nothing is a clearer reminder that time is a flat circle than the New York Jets

Clemons is in the Gipson camp of "making the 53-man roster is an indictment of the coaching staff"

This is phrased like it's a bad thing for Surridge to be leading the Golden Boot standings, which I find extremely funny