i hate virtue signaling no matter who does it because no belief system gives you the right to be a dickhead. just put your best foot forward in each interaction and let the world judge you for what you are. an imperfect human.

looking through lebron's accolades right now and literally they're gonna run out of time for lebron's hall of fame speech just introducing his individual awards. not to mention he's already in the hall of fame as an actice player for the redeem team sooooooo basically i aint shit and be lebron.

where's my wife and children at im trying to snuggle and watch something goofy

a white dude with a nose piercing in 97 is kinda crazy tbh shout out to smash mouth - i know white people i bet the outrage was nuts - and like tupac is the only dude who really really wore that shit back then and keefe d got him back in 96

yo @shirtforce.org do yall have a bobablazer shirt yet?!? i'd get one adult size and one kid size if yall have one so lmk!

HE WAS LITERALLY NO WHERE NEAR IT AND THEY CHARGED HIM WITH HOMICIDE RIP KYREN LACY

aight bout to watch some mean girls who is fucking with me today

did yall see what @crmtom92.com did on that idea though?!? doing numbers, salesforce responded, all that - thanks for being the voice of the people ideas.salesforce.com/s/idea/a0BHp...

i don't always pray for the rapture, but right now seems as good of a time as ever i'm ready to go if it gets all these other evil fucks off the planet

boss was like "how do you feel about everyone and their mom hitting you up to do shit", i was like "fucking useful, more work please, just help me prioritize it"

On October 3, he asked me what day it was.

Lil B is classic - I'd for sure go to a Lil B concert before I go to Dreamforce www.youtube.com/watch?v=uw_r...

oh ruby went off the rails huh

Just watched like an hour of Peppa PIg before I remembered the girls weren't in the room so I literally don't have to watch it. I watched anyways. Oink.

☕🚫 Sorry, no coffee here on T-Shirt Tuesday we’re strictly tea only. Introducing our “418: I’m a Teapot” tee! A cheeky nod to the classic HTTP status code that reminds everyone: sometimes you just can’t brew what they’re asking for. shirtforce.org/tee/418-im-a-teapot #tshirtTuesday #DevHumour

Serious all hands meeting with Astro

If I’m vaporized and all of my posts go with it, I know that I Am still in the way that the others with my blood and our other bonds are Always already and anyway, Forever

Ain't enough Salesforce Ideas in the world for Benioff to care

Can one of you smart people please let me know where I'm missing a parenth in this formula??!?! ISCHANGED({!$Record.StageName}) && ({!$Record__Prior.StageName} = On Hold || {!$Record.StageName} = On Hold)

I hit the emissions testing place, the DMV, picked up my prescription, made a beer run, bought milk, and returned home with said milk to my family in an hour and a half. I'm the man. And now my car no longer has plates that have been expired for three years

I bet he caught the Golden Snitch as well

Digesting information: mmm. Mhmm. Excreting the information: ah. Well,

like for two municipal governments to have a century long vendetta is pure madeness if you ask me but what do i know i'm just a cracker posting on bluesky

matter of fact, what are movie studios doing developing nuclear technology anyways?!? is hollywood about to secede from the rest of LA?!??

I should apply. Not because I’m qualified but because what a cool job title.

shitting myself over here - i feel like this is one of those jobs that AI would be like "i've got this" and the human in the loop would be like "fuck no are you serious?"

but also shout out to @peiroll.com for recognizing that i could be a standup comedian because i'm sure that i could and i could do a half hour about business analysis and another half hour about AI so i feel like pei would actually show up to hear me talk shit about things she both loves and hates

rob has me noodling hella shit i be itching my noodle sometimes when i think too hard - i named it Al Dente

“The Blacks” definitely called it y’all. Like seriously.

shout out to @yramt.bsky.social i see you out here always my dude

id be pissed af if a bull came gallivanting through my china shop like how the fuck did you get out of the pasture anyways?!? peppa pig got me thinking about life and shit

man wrote an entire haiku about agentforce being trash i love it

Glad that my boss and teammate recognize Scout's identity as whatever she wants to be

doing my service to the people

Every day can be Pei Day if you listen to Pei www.linkedin.com/events/the5s...

Going to two different @peiroll.com sessions today, going to trademark this as the Day of Pei

there's a certain level of enjoyment i take in telling people "you don't get love like that" if they don't fucking listen to me when i literally give them the exact game that they need to get a shot..shit is crazy to me idk i just keep it real with people out here it's not my bad yall square as fuck

Dude Calvin Johnson was so cold at life I'm so glad he's in the hall of fame

the rats and the children follow me out of town

4:20 baybeeeeeee smoke it if you got it

thought leadership in the fitblazer slack

so is welcome.salesforce.com going to be a better experience or is it just another layer of madness? saw my boss use it and it looked pretty cool - the whole unifying bit

And who’s behind this foot-based techno-fascism? The Moths. All of them. Millions of ‘em. Some coded the laws. Some licked the rules. Some just flap aggressively in your microwave at 3am whispering sweet binary nonsense into your rice.

She once drop-kicked a drone into a judge’s face and yelled, “GIT PUSH THIS, MOTHERFUCKER."

It begins, as all moth-based revolutions do, with a firmware update and an act of war.

I learned to code in prison. Problem was, it was horse prison. Horses don’t respect Git.

Each moth carried a USB stick, a mid-life crisis, and an opinion about Agile methodology that they would scream at your face while shitting dust into your cereal. They didn’t fly. They swarmed—like LinkedIn recruiters but with more ethics and visible genitalia.