I call my bedroom The Bone Temple.

Sexy Aqualung be like 🎶sucking on a wiener🎶

I’m not one of those people who say Star Trek needs to go back to its roots and stop being woke. I am however one of those people who say Star Trek needs to go back to its roots and have people do war crimes and make O’Brien suffer.

Hey look it’s the phone numbers of a bunch of fbi goons in Minneapolis rn

Hey look it’s the phone numbers of a bunch of fbi goons in Minneapolis rn

I feel like if Big Boss and Solid Snake were real, they’d have put aside their ideological differences and both be in Minneapolis killing ice agents while the theme to Metal Gear Solid 2 played on a bunch of loudspeakers

Protest chants be like 1234 Your mother is brazen whore 5678 She helps me when I masturbate And honestly I think we need more chants that respect women

Jason Isbell songs be like 🎶if we were vampires and afraid of the light We could crank on our wieners all night🎶

You know she keeps that thang on her

What if a man balled so hard motherfuckers wanted to fine him?

I’m gonna 13 Reasons Why an ice agent.

🎶sucking on my wiener Underneath the landslide🎶

I wanna 9 your 11

Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen 😭 Pour myself a cup of ambition 🥹 And yawn and stretch and try to come to life 😃 Jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin' 💪 Out on the street, the traffic starts jumpin'😮 With folks like me on the job from nine to five😭

Now seated for Marty Supreme, if it sucks im gonna call it Marty Sucks Peen

Absolutely no chance Israel exists in the dragon ball universe, ain’t no way Goku and Krillin are letting that happen

In Warhammer 40000, the Wolf Time refers to Ragnarok, when the Wolf King Leman Russ returns to his sons to do final battle against the forces of Chaos.

I need to make it very clear that we need to form an orderly line, perhaps a train of some sort, the minute an JD or a Matt Walsh or a Trump situation happens

My friends think I’m crazy when I say Cointelpro never ended, but Cointelpro never ended.

Gm let’s get this bread

I gotta say, standing there recording the dude who literally just murdered someone in front of you and his armed murderer friends and telling them to go fuck themselves takes immense, neutron star density balls

The official line of most news outlets and dem politicians is going to be that she tried to run over a brave American hero wither car, or at best that “there was a tragic exchange of gunfire.” Jesus said that you will recognize a tree by its fruit. Recognize their fruit and act accordingly.

I’m not allowed to say what should happen to literally every member of ICE, from the head of DHS all the way down to the lowliest secretary, but it involves hammers

Pro tip: if you poop enough, you become skinny

Imagining an Israeli ICE agent and getting really upset

Happy 9/11 to all who celebrate

I played musical chairs as a 37 year old man. I won, and jumped up in the air to do a superhero landing on the tile floor. I tore both hamstrings and two months later I still can’t kneel on my right knee, I’m not sure it’s ever going to heal

🎶god said to Abraham “crank me a hog” Abraham said “you must be kidding me dawg” God said “no” Abe said “what” God said “you can do what you want Abe but, Next time I see you you better cum.” Abe said “where you want this busting done?” God said “out on highway 61”🎶

🎶god said to Abraham “crank me a hog” Abraham said “you must be kidding me dawg” God said “no” Abe said “what” God said “you can do what you want Abe but, Next time I see you you better cum.” Abe said “where you want this busting done?” God said “out on highway 61”🎶

They have me back at work dawg, I can’t exist like this

In Warhammer 40k, the space wolves have a saying of “I recognize my failing and will be sure to correct it,” and in a overtly fascist cosmology that’s a kind of sweet person-centric ideology and that’s the energy I wanna be bringing into my life

Idk I think North Korea should kidnap Netanyahu, seems fair

People have been saying more and more that what the people need is 9/11 2

It’s illegal to threaten to kill the president of the United States, and it really shouldn’t be.

Full rope worms

God I can’t wait for China to do white slavery on us

The Consent Manufacturing Machine was really operating on overdrive this weekend huh

Dawg I want some fucking ORANGE JUICE

🎶sucking on my wiener and licking on my peener I’m staying alive, staying alive🎶

Hegemonic power this, imperial power that, there’s only one power I care about

Hegemonic power this, imperial power that, there’s only one power I care about

When someone asks how we’re gonna get out of this mess

Oh cool we just invaded Venezuela for literally no reason whatsoever, fantastic.

I was there in the crowd, and it was so cold ice was forming around my feet and I almost left, and then this angel started singing this old socialist torch song and I swear to god I almost cried, it was beautiful.

Look at this asshole

Me on the way to steal your girl

When she gives you this look 😏😏😏

Me and the boys on our way to beat your ass

Do you want to kiss… in the false door of Nikauhor’s tomb? 🥺👉👈

“Do you think Jon Hamm calls his dick Jon’s Ham?” Yes you stupid bitch, obviously.