Romo: 6-7 new players..... Me: HE SAID THE THING #KCvsDAL #Thanksgiving #NFL

Megyn: Hey, can I copy your homework? Me: Sure, but don't make it too obvious

Remember, nobody is stopping you from getting a bowling pin engraved with your name, a number 300, and the name of a defunct bowling alley with no online records

I'm just gonna say this now, and nobody is gonna know the show I'm talking about, but there is a UK gameshow called Pointless and, after watching it, I wonder why the heck this show hasn't come to America yet? It would be SO interesting

Watch a couple episodes of Gummi Bears earlier and 2 things 1)Still holds up 2)90s kids TV theme songs didn't need to go as hard as they did

The parody I'm writing in my brain and the idea that I have makes me wish that I, somehow, figured out how to burn the creative part of my brain or find a way to get it cut out without dying

Either I need a gf, of the water girls on the sideline are extremely attractive #NFL

I know that Haley Joel Osmond did a good job playing JD Vance on SNL, but looking at AJ Pierzynski in the booth and I think we got a new front runner for the job #ALDS

2 things while watching the #ALDS 1)Seeing that T-Mobile sponsors the Mariners bullpen makes me really think that BIC Pens should sponsor a teams bullpen. It just seems way too perfect 2)BIC Pens should have their website that talks about their products called "BICapedia"

The ref for the game tonight must've got into an argument with his wife or somebody cause he sounds 20 shades of ticked when he's making these calls #SNF

If someone wakes up Billie Joe Armstrong tomorrow, and he sees his shadow, that's 6 more weeks of Emo. That's how that works, right?

Something tragic happened, time to speculate wildly

If Jimmy Kimmel doesn't open his show by saying "As I was saying...." or "So, where was I?", then trying to bring him back would have been a waste

I feel like we have failed creatively if there's not a Labubu version of Mr. Burns bear from #TheSimpsons named Labobo

There needs to be a social media for people who only wanna be social every so often. Like, those who are only social for a bit before they just go back to not talking to anyone for a week and a half

If I knew that Trump was gonna be on the roof of the White House while I was here on vacation, I would have taken a picture as proof that we are living in the weirdest timeline

It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day

Here's my setlist for this open mic. If anyone can figure out what it's about, then you get a shiny nickel

I just saw an act on #AGT where they played harmonicas while a dude freezed their nipples with a dry ice popsicle. No, AI did NOT just randomly put those words in that order

I did way too much research on a MASHCast episode for season 9 that I'm not sure I'm gonna be on considering they're on season 8. Meh, it's alright, I'll probably forget about it by then

RIP Loretta Swit. Your character arc in M*A*S*H was one of the best #RIPHotLips

They're talking more rain coming this weekend. Any more of that and I'm gonna start building an arc in my backyard

Note to self: Don't do improv, your brain is a bunch of pudding with little bits of Jello inside

As William Henry Harrison once said "Do I need a coat? Nah, it's not that cold outside" #PresidentialQuotes

I can't be the only one who gets clips of Letterkenny and doesn't laugh. I mean, I wanna laugh, I wanna give it a chance, and I've heard it's funny, but every time I see clips of it, it's just stupid humor and I don't know if I just don't find it funny or just don't wanna laugh at it.

I don't like going with people who wanna drive more than 20 minutes for food. "Oh, let's go to this random hole in the wall burger place that's 45 minutes away" Me: Nah, there's a burger place that's not too far from my house I can walk to. I'm good

Could someone tell me why I should care about myself?

Did that woman just say that Joe Burrow's job got harder after his own team drafted an Edge rusher? #WhoDey #NFLDraft

They just stopped the #NFLDraft to make an announcement that there's gonna be an announcement at a later time

I'm thinking of going to rehab because I'm just an old jukebox junkie. Fricken Ken Mellons

Watching someone else watch Happy Gilmore, and my issue is with Happy's girlfriend. Everything would've been fine if she hadn't talked Happy into competing in the last tourney. Shooter would've got Happy off the tour, and the jacket he wants Happy and his grandmother would've got the house back

The Reds were leading 20-1 in the bottom of the 8th. One of the Orioles players just hit a solo HR and my first thought was "Oh boy, here comes the comeback"

Not sure I like the @orioles.com orange on orange unis today

My most anticipated matchup of the night is Rey Mysterio vs El Grande Americano. I hope nothing unforseen happens to ruin that perfectly fine sounding matchup #Wrestlemania41

I'm watching Family Feud, and they have 2 white families on. I didn't think that was possible

*randomly sings the theme song to Doug because I'm bored and nobody wants to talk to me*

Today is my birthday. It's also the day that Martin Luther King Jr was shot on a balcony in Memphis. I have this weird feeling that the latter is a tad more famous

Found out that the Adventures of Big Boy was written by Stan Lee and put out by the predecessor of Marvel Comics, and now all I want is for Big Boy to be part of the MCU

Way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, boys #Reds #OpeningDay

The sky on here maybe blue, but today, it's Cincinnati Red. GO REDLEGS!!! #OpeningDay

A woman and I were chatting on Discord, and she never answered any of the questions I asked, like where she was from and stuff like that. She wanted to have a little fun and wondered what I looked like right now. I said "A half frog, half otter hybrid, it's very weird" She said 'Show me'.

Did I miss anything interesting? No? Then I'll go back into the abyss

Drake just won the #MVC, which is the be3st thing to happen to a Drake this year #NCAABasketball

Other people spend their time going to parties or doing things with their friends. I spend my time looking up the Japanese soldiers who ended up surrendering 29 years after WW2 was over

As cute as Vietamese women are, I don't know how I'd feel about going to Vietnam and saying "Hold on, I think I have some Dong in my pocket here"

As cool as it is to see @cocogauff.bsky.social on a box of Wheaties, I think it would be WAY better to see her on a box of Cocoa Puffs

Kendrick Lamar apparently enjoys mustard, but I wanna see him talk about other condiments. One song goes KETCHUUUPPPPPPP Maybe one that goes RELISSSSSHHHH BLEU CHEEEEEESSSSEEEEE So many possibilities

Sent my request to be on MASHCast with @robkellycreative.bsky.social

If Jacob Fatu leaves Solo and the Bloodline, who gets Tama in the divorce? #Smackdown

There are gonna be SO many Ethiopian kids who are gonna think the Chiefs 3-peated tomorrow ##SuperBowlLIX