its crazy that the primary sensation that has defined my entire life is just. itchiness. mental itchiness. every problem ever has revolved around this for me

this has kind of just been reaffirming that i have some kind of dopamine regulation issue which i know already but doesnt solve anything on its own. i can now get 10 minutes of focused unpleasant work done over the course of an hour. lmao. hopefully things get better. maybe without meds? the dream

im so mad that im learning so much from this i feel like a techbro or some shit lmfao

today i managed to like upregulate my dopamine levels or some shit by staring at a wall and not thinking about anything interesting. it sucked and hurt for like 40 minutes and my brain gave up and said "fine heres some juice" and i felt like i did when i was on strattera normal person activities

bank app overtook ig on my most used apps bar lol. this means many things and none of them are good

am i the only one

theres still a good 40 hours left in this mf probably

reached the (a?) final boss of silksong in 3 days hashtag gaming hashtag holy shit i played so much silksong this weekend and went so fucking fast

i got silksong only bc i saw reddit saying it was too hard and im going to play it on my leverless

its easy to forget that if you are in a present that deprives you of some aspect of yourself that you value, it doesnt mean that aspect has rotted away. youre more than the misery that you feel, and the parts of you that love are still there, waiting for the time when their pathways can be walked

i think im evil

one of the funnest things ive drawn, i think i literally took a pic of majima yakuza as reference and just did whatever the fuck i wanted with it. i love unnatural colors and features being Not Quite Right #art

one of my old favorites. the concept was arrived at by lightly chewing on some ideas with eyes closed, while holding some keys in my hands, until i dropped them. i then immediately started on a sketch and went from there. a successful process that i keep meaning to make my default #art

like this post if children should work in the mines on labor day. thats why its called labor day

i awoke and could not recognize my place on the great cosmic wheel, its structure and movements were strange to my eyes (took a nap and it feels like tomorrow but it isnt)

RUMOR: GTA 6 will have gamings first ever example of fully simulated physics-enabled ball hair that grows in realtime, according to source. ✅

im slightly more of an alien to myself everyday. i think that i am growing, as opposed to actively rotting. but growing towards what? i have no clear vision of myself in a few months

i am going to play guilty gear strive

simply keep going. you will regardless

one of the funnest things ive drawn, i think i literally took a pic of majima yakuza as reference and just did whatever the fuck i wanted with it. i love unnatural colors and features being Not Quite Right #art

i think that at my core im really simple. im one third sensation, one third a mesh of stories that tries to give a narrative to these sensations, and one third an eye that watches the other two. a lot of times it feels easy to pretend that all i am is the eye. but when i do this,

this is probably from when hades came out. i recognize this bc i was obsessed with the art style lol. its always funny to me how i go into things with a good idea of the aesthetic but no fucking idea what the subject matter will be #art

this the newest of this batch of posts (last august). here i applied a lot of ideas in brushwork i had been honing over those months to something more than a sketch. i like the overall composition. a successful venture. it was a single session so its still underbaked as fuck though lmao. #art

one of my old favorites. the concept was arrived at by lightly chewing on some ideas with eyes closed, while holding some keys in my hands, until i dropped them. i then immediately started on a sketch and went from there. a successful process that i keep meaning to make my default #art

i do not like being neurodivergent. lol. the inherent joy in it is so hard to access. its possible, but its hard. even in a world that better accommodated it, it would still be hard honestly. but tomorrow comes all the same and i will smile again

this one is SUPER old, back when i was relearning to shade before even the pandemic lol. i knew so much less about how important edges are in paintings and was just super hyperfocused on the face. up close it looks nice, but the wider composition is pretty underthought #art

circa 2020? an experiment in style that was successful enough for the time. the wider composition is pleasing from further away to my eyes even now. my lack of rigour in using reference shows badly here, however. i also dislike the balance of tones here #art

man, i really dont like my old work lol. its good practice to keep around and have visible, though. i almost never do fanart but i really wanted to experiment with painting. by the way, im not posting in strict chronological order. #art

oh i forgot to nightshade all my art but i do not feel like rescheduling the bulk i have scheduled rn lol.

everything im posting here is old, including this. most of the time i was just winging it to see where my style landed. usually, the style that emerges from my muscle memory isnt actually very appealing to me. i think this is fine. it is what it is. #art

idk when this was from, 2021? i like this one though, my favorite piece. probably when my ability to just wing it was at its most practiced and most informed. stylistically aligns with my tastes the most. #art

i need to post old art on here actually bc theres nowhere online to see any of it rn

lets all post on bluesky