"Are you going to dress up for Halloween tomorrow, Liam?" Are you completely out of your fucking mind?

Times

Why is England vs Australia in Rugby League also being called "The Ashes"? Sure The Ashes is England vs Australia in men's test cricket only?

Definitely a line from Brass Eye

Gutted I'm not at Villarreal tonight, mind blowing that this was 14 years ago

We're back tomorrow before the Everton game, welcoming our friends from @sfoodbanks.bsky.social 🩵 ⏰ 13:00 - 14:30 📌 Location details on the graphic 🥫 donations of non-perishable food & toiletries for Mancunian communities #HungerDoesntWearClubColours #SolidarityNotCharity

"Today were unlucky, but remember we have only to be lucky once, you will have to be lucky always."

I've just looked through Rolling Stones top 50 songs of this millennium and all I can tell you is they're wrong

I fucking hate flying. Just about to get on a plane back to Manchester and they've sent everyone back to the terminal because of a technical issue with the plane and "we'll give you an update in 30 minutes".

Early days still but comparing the games last season to this year (discounting Burnley) we're 6 points better off and 14 better goal difference

Not really got much of an opinion on Keith Andrews yet but him looking a little bit like Elano favours him. Will no doubt feel different in 2 hours.

I'd say they're quite famous for lacking a sense of humour

Rhymes with Amorim will Slot ever win again

Finger well off the pulse these days with new music but finally got on to Shame - big fan of this latest album

Well, now that Oasis have played their final UK gig for the time being I'm gonna have one more bash at being a musical gate keeper: heard you said "that gig will never be beaten", yet you never go to gigs anyway so how the fuck would you know?

How did Chelsea, united, Liverpool and America get on?

Kyle Walker, without doubt a City legend but if you're talking your *favourite* City XI there's not a chance he's in there over Zabaleta

City fans singing ironic/piss taking songs about Kalvin Phillips tonight are fucking cunts, it's not worked out for him at the club but no need to give him the Glauber Berti treatment

Seen some Regi Blinkers in my time but fucking hell that Hojlund fella tonight. Even worse than that Sesko at the weekend

Sad to see that Tomas Lindberg has died - one for all the death metal blues out there(!)

Great first game for Donnarumma but fucking hell, just get rid of your hair mate. The Italian Liam Livingstone

Really, really sad about Ricky Hatton.

I know Brian Warner has been rightfully cancelled, but Holy Wood is still the perfect album to listen to when reading about some yank getting offed

See something has happened between City and the PL

Morrissey off his tits? Who would have thought it

Was such a buzz last August when Gundogan came back. Not worked out this time around but glad that the last time I saw him in a City shirt was him scoring a lovely goal away to Fulham. A City legend, the captain that lifted the European Cup.

Has it been decided who won the transfer window?

Shame Akanji is moving on. "You just haven't earned it, Akanji. You must play with John Stones for slightly longer" is a certified Castle Hotel banger

We've been lucky to live the era of 2017-2024, but it's over now and the decisions taken over the last 2 years makes me think it's going to take some time to get back on top again. Loads of points to play for this season, but we're not there, winning a cup this season would be successful for me.

At least united can focus on Europe now

How have we not won every game we've played against them with Onana in net?

I see a team full of shit footballers and fans that stink of fish are on the telly tonight

Nothing like the feeling of involuntarily salivating looking at Pot 4 in the Champions League draw

Bertrand Buffer +2

Just gone down Briscoe Lane and there's that many Union Jacks on lamp posts I thought I was on the Shankill

Rumour going round that James French has already been replaced by Bob Dylan as our set piece coach

Hope the club have made the right call to keep hold of Savinho, happy to be proven wrong about everything I've said about him over the past week (and months)

I'm sure this discussion was probably had when the fixtures came out, but it's really odd that we've been away first game of the season so much for ages. Last 20 years I'm sure we've only been home first game 5 times.

Also, does suggest a bit of WTFIGO as we've not really been linked with trying to get rid of him and the week before the season starts we're now open to selling him? Pep's started him in a lot of the important games over the past 12 months? Does Pep have an idea what his strongest XI looks like?

I get that Savinho has a high ceiling, but he's not the here and now. We should definitely be looking to fuck him off way before The Grealer or McAtee.

First trophy of the season

Do Wrexham fans know that their shirt sponsor translates to Etihad in Arabic?

Any finer feeling than someone you think is an absolute dickhead at work having their notice period reduced by a week so that they fuck off today because they've been a twat again?

"At least the footy will be back soon" says my colleague, who, in 5 years of working with him hasn't even been in the Borough of Trafford let alone gone to a game.

Tijani in platforms

Imagine how we felt

See that Tory that defected to Labour thinks Kneecap supporting Fontaines is INAPPROPRIATE. Fuck off you cunt

Needless to say, I had the last laugh

Have to say, after seeing Oasis, Kneecap and Fontaines D.C. within 24 hours at the weekend today has been a proper come down struggle at work