Incockneato
@elemani.bsky.social
📤 544
📥 307
📝 1575
Idk wtf is going on
pinned post!
Hi! 👋🏾 I know I may be fun, but I’m also a very married soccer mom of 3. Please don’t DM me.
about 1 year ago
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The only thing I regret is not being born early enough for freaknik-2009 clubbing
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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I quite LITERALLY need us not to eat aliens
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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Post you from a different era in your life. I could shed a tear for her.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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I just don’t know what past life me did to deserve being born into THIS timeline of ALLLL THE TIMELINES
4 days ago
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I’m throwing in the towel. It’s been a very long year (6mo)
5 days ago
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reposted by
Incockneato
born miserable
7 days ago
you can’t tell me what to do, you’re not the wandering spirit of a girl who was murdered several centuries ago who inhabited my body to use as a vessel for vengeance against the descendants of her killers
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reposted by
Incockneato
✶ ✶ Heather ✶ ✶
7 days ago
And this is when we blow up the internet with this:
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Now I’m only quoting this to feel something.
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8 days ago
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This is shade to my absentee, wicked (and I’m now convinced doesn’t- nor EVER- loved me) man, and no one else
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8 days ago
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Like… what do I do??? I don’t even remember what I did before I had someone to do me all the time. Now what!?!? What do IIII DOOOO. Funny, when I said “I do” I didn’t know it was FORESHADOWING
8 days ago
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UgHHHHHH Im so bored when my husband leaves me to “provide”…. He’s sure not PROVIDING me with attention
8 days ago
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My daughters are in their room arguing and one of them goes “like mommy! She’s not a grown up- but she has kids!” Now how I catch a stray
8 days ago
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Planning a wedding event is INSANE and it’s VERY easy to become a bridezilla… VERY
8 days ago
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I have 5 stars on Lyft because I am a conversationalist. I’ll never give up on humans.
add a skeleton here at some point
10 days ago
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My son: “mommy how come you always say opposites?” Me (overstimulated): “what are you talking about sir??” My son: “like when you say ‘don’t even worry about it’ but I should be worried about it?’ Or when you say ‘I hope it was worth it’ but you’re mad?” 😭😭😭😭😭😭 bro I’m too unserious to be a parent
14 days ago
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Power just came back on. Crisis averted
add a skeleton here at some point
15 days ago
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TheFUCK were you doing out at 3AM!? Istg if I get my hands on this police report and there is 0.001% of alcohol in your system- I’m cutting the power to your shit every weekend for a year
15 days ago
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FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKSONOFABITCHESWHOREASSFUCKINGCUNTGAHDAMNMORTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!!!
15 days ago
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Being an American is so crazy. I KNOW it’s insane to be mad someone’s car slid and crashed into the utility pole on my street. But the CAW CAW 🦅 🇺🇸 in me is crashing THE FUCK out.
15 days ago
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reposted by
Incockneato
Humane World for Animals
20 days ago
🚨 BREAKING: It’s being reported that the CDC in the US is ending its experiments on monkeys! Approximately 200 macaques currently used in harmful research will be affected; future research on primates will also be discontinued. 🐵 🙌🏼
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Me personally, I’d like to be — and be WITH a villain. Hero’s stories stem from them sacrificing their true love “for the greater good” 🤮 EEEEYUCKK! Villains sacrifice the world for their true love. Gimme dat.
19 days ago
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I dont know about the movie- but these two are my biggest recession indicators. Trying to get me to believe being bone skinny is “in” is a crazy way to say “get ready to starve”
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20 days ago
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Just went in the bathroom, looked in the mirror and cut my hair—- THEN I took it outside to burn it wtf happened to me in a past life 😂😂😂
22 days ago
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Hell yeah, wear ‘em LOUD and PROUD boysss! ✍🏿 📄
add a skeleton here at some point
23 days ago
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“It’s a class war, not race” NIGGAAA. It took racism to CREATE the classes yall wanna fight about NOW
24 days ago
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I have never in my life tried to be the girl that lights up a room. In fact, I’d argue it could stand to be darker
24 days ago
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reposted by
Incockneato
Filthy Fox 🖤➿
26 days ago
She’s really the menace Natalie Nunn wants to be!
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There is absolutely nothing I could say about a mf that would beat me to a pulp
add a skeleton here at some point
26 days ago
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Well HURRY UP THEN. What’re waiting for!?
add a skeleton here at some point
29 days ago
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I was able to pull it off and be home by 11PM.
add a skeleton here at some point
29 days ago
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Yall know damn well why aliens won’t make mass contact. There is an entire group of ppl on earth that will (and probably have) EAT them
30 days ago
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“Be the best. I don’t care what it is. If you’re a stripper, they better be coming to see YOU” -Big NISH
add a skeleton here at some point
30 days ago
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I have, genuinely - SO MUCH work to do, it’s INSANE. Then, I have so many errands to run immediately after, -but I also have to have this all done by 5:00 because I’m scheduled for fun at 5:30
30 days ago
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Apparently EVERYBODY necks this man up BUT Hillary
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30 days ago
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Eewwwwwwwwwwwwwwuhhhh
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about 1 month ago
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Vance about to be president, ain’t it?
about 1 month ago
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And THATS on firing Elmo
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Jeffery said in them emails he was “scared he’s going to tank the economy- can’t Barack talk to him?” 😂😂😂😂😂😂 and this nigga won AGAIN
about 1 month ago
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ALCOHOL. Smoking and alcohol.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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I honestly didn’t think there could be a worse president than dump, but dump 2.0 is legit catastrophic
about 1 month ago
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Jokes on them, I have a southern grandma.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Incockneato
Rell the Grinch 🎄
about 1 month ago
Good morning 🙂↕️
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My husband calls: “hey, heads up, I might be coming home with an Akita” Me: “oh, okay, is that like a game?” Him: “yeah, kinda” Me later on Google: A DOG!?
about 1 month ago
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The biggest proof of spiritual warfare for me is the fact that you can feed from spreading happiness and joy and get even more full than sucking people of it—- but they’re doing it for the love of the game
about 1 month ago
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Cats are like their owners too. I too put myself in harmful situations just to feel alive
about 1 month ago
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“I — then state your name..” This nigga is an IDIOT 😭😭😭
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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I LOVE when I walk by people and they say “she smells good!” To eachother. It feeds a part of me that CAN’T be good 😭
about 1 month ago
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First and last time I saw my grandma cry. Went back to school and all my black ass teachers had full biographies PREPARED 😂😂😂
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Me arguing that time is not linear:
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Vance about to divorce his DEI wife and marry Kirk’s widow. Not too long after, Donald gonna croak, Jdeeznuts will be prez, and ericum will be First Lady and honestly an evil like we’ve never seen will reign
about 1 month ago
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