Forgot about 'Will 2k'. Will Smith was on a generational run of sampling music to make his own, much worse, music in this era #TOTP

Come on you cowards, the only outcome that makes sense is to cancel the play-off final and allow #hcafc to go up by default. Its what Boro would want for us, I'm sure. Spygate: Championship play-off final may be delayed by hearing - BBC Sport share.google/YuxoXyGETm4j...

Burnham has had wet dreams about leading the Labour Party (not even sure he's arsed about being PM) since he was a wee'un This will be - what - his third failed challenge? Here's me thinking people were sick of all this political maneuvering and yet he's heralded as some kind of Northern Jesus 🤷‍♂️

Well, well, well! Wellity, wellity, wellity. The timeline of corruption is so hard to follow; this can't be the gaff he recorded all those pathetic Cameos in as that house fucking shit. Con artist motherfucker. Yet a large proportion of my mouth-breathing fellow species won't bat an eyelid.

The timing and language of the Angela Rayner tax affair exoneration reportage is giving:

Can't see Celtic beating Hearts by 3 goals even if they do win on the final day, the title surely heading to Edinburgh now. Great race, great season. Well done, Heart of Midlothian. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿❤️

Does it mean it has become acceptable yet for me to shout at my colleagues for resorting to ChatGPT to compose even a basic email and, most egregiously, a short missive in a retirement card that had just the right level of sentiment? Fuck the embrace of AI, its turning minds into soup.

I think Wes Streeting is either forgetting or gravely underestimating the fact that people like him even less than Keir Starmer

#hcafc have only gone and got themselves into the Play-Off Final, then. Despite trying hard in recent weeks to fall agonisingly short. Well played, lads. The eternal pessimist in me thought we'd lose the last two so I guess we've got a decent chance. Not sure if I prefer Soton or Boro, tbf

Happy Birthday to David Attenborough, belatedly. Man was nearly a pensioner when I was born, which just goes to show how long the autumn and winter of one's life can be. Animals and shit rock.

How can you hate the English, in the 80s the national football team were playing for all of the UK, you ungrateful bastards.. Evidenced by the numerous 🇬🇧 flags surrounding Kevin Keegan #TOTP

There are two very different Depeche Modes aren't there #TOTP

Luc Besson is a creep but I love every microsecond of this film. I love Bruce Willis' wispy bleach blonde hair.

For God's Godsake, Britain, don't fall for the grifers and hate mongers at your polling stations today. Exercise some critical fucking thinking for once. Pray for your local council.

A caricature is worth a thousand words of copy

So far out of her depth on everything. Time to swim to shore, Kemi. You've tread water for as long as you could in that job.

Very productive bank holiday weekend thus far, catching up on films I'd not previously seen. Well, I say 'seen' because despite watching mother! [Dir. Darren Aronofsky 2017] last night, thanks to the crazy-low res on Prime, I could barely make out a thing. Anyhow. The end of that film was maaad.

Apologies, us impoverished northerners are dragging down the average. Must be healthier longer, must be healthier longer. UK healthy life expectancy falls by two years in past decade - BBC News share.google/J8siTSsLH48C...

Mike "Madness" Johnson. Can't even run properly. Welcome to the [White] House of fun, Welcome to the [paedo's] den

Can't even be arsed to the do the gif joke properly... shots fired at Trump (again) and so on

I'm probably just not that observant, but I swear before last year I'd never heard the term 'lone actor'

Imagine Peter Mandelson's grubby little private life being the reason your Govt fell. I'd be fuming, tbf. Especially when I'd been having such a good go and fucking shit up without that

Ah. #hcafc - the team that will guarantee themselves defeat by scoring the opening goal

#RecordStoreDay tomorrow, which I'm incredibly stoked for. This despite not being an 'audiophile' or vinyl enthusiast (I can't tell the difference & I think you're mostly faking it I'm sorry) Anyway. I MUST have John Frusciante's To Record Only Water For Ten Days & Jeff Buckley Live at l'Olympia

A1 looking like they've come straight from filming an episode of Bargain Hunt. Awful. #TOTP

I see Eamonn Holmes and Vladimir Putin share a cosmetic surgeon. Makes sense. One's a cold, humourless tyrant... and the other is the president of Russia. Eamonn Holmes recovering in hospital after stroke - BBC News share.google/JrdjT2g7NbFY...

New to me this Sunday morning. Algorithm doing its thang. Fat Freddy's Drop - 'The Nod' Hell yeah. music.youtube.com/watch?v=D2Ih...

The agony of being a #hcafc fan

An exclusive yet-to-be-released song from Supergrass and its 'Moving' lol #TOTP

Bought a Blink doorbell & camera system to beef up the ol' house security (really because I wanted toys to dick about with) and boy am I having trouble. Sets up fine and works indoors, but the doorbell is either scared of being outside or my walls & front door are lined with lead.

Phil Foden leading the line. Ok. #eng

International football bonanza tonight with #sco on the beeb & #eng on ITV. International breaks are often a pain in the ass, but different opponents massively helps the interest. Uruguay and Japan represent a welcome relief from the same 10 or so European nations we seem to book friendlies against

RIP Paul Jackson - owner of legendary music venue in Hull, The Adelphi. Paul Jackson, a leading light of the Hull music scene, dies - BBC News share.google/ca9CGIQXhFlF...

#nokings ... except Ledley King

Top quality skedaddling. Put some cartoon running sound effects over that

Its too early for Richard Tice

Wes Streeting with the old Matt Hancock special on BBC Breakfast this morning

Once again... sitting President of the United States of America.

Three braces in the QPR/Pompey game at Loftus Road, you don't see that too often. Smyth & Kolli must have been fuming on the bench as that 86 min penalty was awarded..

Netanyahu and Trump are like two dogs walking each other

That's a lot of Champions League goals

His house and his clothes look so shit in these cameos that, somehow, I trust him even less. He looks like he's still wearing shirts from C&A he bought in 1998

Comically difficult to withdraw money from your eBay account

I don't think it is particularly apparent from these #TOTP rewatches just how many CD singles of dance tracks piled up next to the home HiFi unit in this era. Saltwater by Chicane is the quintessential late 90s dance song.

The Man Who by Travis is stacked with hits #TOTP

Just spent an hour and a half in the company of 'HSTikkyToķky' on Louis Theroux's manosphere doc and what a very unpleasant time it was. Pathetic, laughably so. You just can't believe that there's anybody out there that can't see right through this bollocks. Fuck me, get a grip of yourselves, chaps

Completed my final Couch to 5K run this evening and you better believe I'm up my own arse about it. Ella Toone (my personal trainer and best friend) was VERY proud of me. Seriously though, the old bullshit saying of "if I can do it, anyone can.." blah blah is actually true in this case. I'm a slob

Future of the world being decided on golf courses, just like in the olden days I guess

That's how its done, my guys.

Stick all these returning ex-pats in hotels on the outskirts of large towns and give them £7 a day to live on whilst Iran goes missile crazy