Popping in to post about my deep rooted need for Malevola to claim me biblically.

Oh, sorry, did you think I wasn't also thirsty over Invisigal??? Think again, bucko. I'd have her hold her breath just so I could watch it fill her, don't even play with me.

10/10 would sauce her burrito.

I don't mean to reveal what is clearly going to be used against me in therapy, but Karlach, Jester, and Malevola could take anything they wanted from me and I'd beg them to take more.

I am ready to be a modern medicine miracle.

A spit in the hand is worth squirting the bush, or something like that.

I think maybe all my goonerish shit should live on here.

What even the fuck am I doing

You can't scare me, I drank a bottle of mag citrate an hour ago; I'm already shitless.

Fresh cut, what's up? 😏 #selfie #haircut #freshhaircut

Touchin' on her bean like it's a Licari send button.

Just a lil red-light somethin' somethin'. #redlightphotography #selfie

Another corpo day. Cool. #selfie

I like what you're getting at, I just don't like how you're getting there.

New nose piercing. #selfie #piercing #piercings #tattoos

If I have any toxic traits, it's a lot of them. And that's one of them.

Hi, I'd like to submit my application for my weekend/weeklong/monthlong/rest of time vacation. I've earned it, it says so right here. [Points to shoddily crafted "U DID IT" gold star]

Do you think if God pisses, it comes out in laminar flow?

But when the empas turn to nadas, will you still be there?

Current status: being cosmically ground into stardust on an annoyingly large timescale.

Me showing someone a hilarious joke I've posted across my socials.

I didn't go to "Asked Your Opinion" Island bc fuckin' nobody was there.

What's the engagement like over here? #selfie

Not now, kitten. Daddy is trying to figure out why the shadowman is appearing in the conference room video feed again.

Good afternoon. I would like to conclude the day early and go tf home. Thanks in advance!