This has to be AI no human would put these words together

Day two of someone bringing their screaming baby to work and me sitting here scrolling on my phone because I won't be getting anything done until they leave

Just heard someone call another person in a wheelchair, "Hot Wheels" then blame it on their autism. I feel like I'm in that Glee episode

Is that really unusual?

When you like killing people but you also like soccer

I’m sorry I’m cynical and hate love so that Schitt’s Creek/Tina Turner whatever it was just made me want to kms which was probably the opposite of what they were going for

Watching David Harbour doing his little hip-hop dances #DTFstlouis

Hooking up after Jamba Juice is crazy #DTFstlouis

Went to the bar* in my new hair & the bartenders were in awe *no beer only 3 Diet Cokes and a pretzel I was only going to hear my favorite cover band

Sounds like a closet case idk

Why’d I laugh at this

They should try filming things there and selling them have they done that yet

Someone asked me to go to LA with them on a whim and I’m like, well, my parents would sob relentlessly and I just don’t have it in me to handle that anymore so I give up. I am 38 btw

Decided to go to bed last night instead of changing the clocks

😕

The Pitt should break their one rule so I can see my girl Mel’s deposition

Being a fat loser tonight and frankly it fixed most of my problems

My dad asked me to take him to Chick-fil-A & I told him I would on Sunday

I can officially tie my hair back but not in a perverted way

Jeopardy response this week was HOKA and I need people to know there are so many better shoes that deserve that honor

Can’t drink for the foreseeable future, already watched Neighbors, kind of just laying on the floor wondering how I let my Fridays get like this

If I were dumb enough to buy Meta glasses & they want to see me use the bathroom then it’s their funeral I guess

Damn, who gonna f*** Markwayne now

Bought hair ties and a head band it's getting serious

I got to the François Arnaud Schitt’s Creek episode and Jesus Christ all of that

Unfortunately watched this in real time and he doesn't actually say anything but rambles, picks obvious planted reporters asking him if he prays for the soldiers, asks someone, "did you not hear what I just said?" Baffling weirdo

Help my hair is not long enough to tie back yet but too long so it keeps getting in my eyes

Rose Byrne losing SAG makes me nervous 😬 if I’m ever going to beat this depression I need her to win. But no pressure

Industry is so genius for somehow crossing Nazis and sex crimes into this season I am desperate to know how this all ends

Taking my little night walk with my Cutty and a cig during break no better feeling

DTF St. Louis looks good but is it ok to watch it knowing David Harbour got bodied in that Lily Allen album

Watching the SNL Connor Storrie show I have no gaydar but I think he might be gay?

Just now realizing Mitski probably wrote Where’s My Phone in response to this insanity 😭

I know I worked like 1 & 1/2 days last week but I really don’t want to work tomorrow and I’m already too tired

Sorry, I can’t learn about WW3 right now last night I went to my bar, called a straight man gay, went to Market Basket and watched the new 20/20 about the Yogurt Shop Murders and I just want to stay in that space right now

Pressed play on Predator Badlands now why do they have lightsabers

If my flag offends you I’ll help you pack!

First day back the woman who thinks she's friends with Anthony Hopkins, went insane and got banned from two of my bars just walked in and I'm recovering

Wasting water to make sure the person making my Impossible Whopper doesn't sound too rude awesome world we're dying in

Been snow trapped in this house for 3 day Haven’t showered in a week Back to work tomorrow I just think rotting in my bed is neat 😞

It’s nice how we’ve all collectively agreed to not speak about The Beauty

It blows their mind how everyone on Medicaid actually needs it so they have to keep making shit up to justify cutting it

Why are so many of them MAGA though

Kind of glad I hurt my back shoveling because I got to stay home while every highway in Massachusetts became some version of frozen Hell this morning

I’m watching Schitt's Creek for the first time I like it but was this show actually good or was it like a COVID/Ted Lasso reaction

For Lent I was giving up vodka but this winter quickly ended that 😭

The mother/son drug addicts in Murder in Glitterball City seem so close 🥰

Learning today that many people are Tourette’s experts

I just want a handsome man to hug me during this blizzard 😞