This baseball season has already been on full chaos mode, but Chase Dollander leading all NL pitchers in WAR might be the final boss of weird stats. I would have never guessed a Rockies pitcher would lead the league in any category at any point of the season… So are the Rockies actually good?

Streaming culture is getting ridiculous… You’re telling me people are watching a stream of someone streaming themselves attending and watching an NBA playoff game from their seat?? So we’ve officially reached: watching someone watch someone play something. And people PAY for it 😭

The Boston Red Sox really said: “Score 10 runs in the 9th inning? Incredible. Inspiring. Historic.” …and then immediately followed it up with: “Anyway, you’re all FIRED!” That has to be one of the biggest roller coaster rides of emotion in regular season baseball history.

Whoever the Leafs end up hiring if that candidate list is legit is basically walking into the job already labeled “Dollarama Dubas.” Not exactly the ideal way to kick off a new era…

The Philadelphia Eagles really made a draft trade with the Dallas Cowboys… like generations of hatred just got put on hold for the 20th pick. Seems like a good pick though…

I’m aware I’m going full “old man yells at a cloud” here: I get that the NFL Draft is a full-blown spectacle now… but do we really need FIVE hours of pre-draft coverage? Back in the day it was a lazy weekend afternoon after cartoons and it was so low key… now it resembles WWE: Raw

Blue Jays fans are spiraling and some are crashing out so hard… the concern is real… but May is everything: 14 divisional games. That’s your swing month. Turn it around, you’re back in it. Keep this up? The hole might get too deep to climb out of. No matter what happens, I’m riding with this team.

I shouldn’t be shocked some Mets fans think Mayor Mamdani cursed the team just for hugging Mr. and Mrs. Met… when last year they were convinced Grimace saved their season.

All sports commissioners are villainous in one way or another but I’m personally going to be counting down to Bettman’s retirement party. (whenever that is) Bruins vs Canadiens in Round 1 would be electric… but nope. The playoff format survives because Bettman might be its only fan.

I guess I was naive to think Vladdy built up so much equity from October that I wouldn’t see the trolls come out in April… All his metrics are elite, but one GIDP and the “He’s overpaid” trolls come out of the woodwork… I don’t engage with it but it’s annoying to read about.

Leafs fans are already panicking about Auston Matthews’ future… One thing’s guaranteed: The Leafs will find a way to make the wrong decision. Why? Well that’s simple… they’re a cursed franchise. That’s the only logical explanation for almost 60 years of pain.

I try to avoid influencer content, but from what I’ve seen recently there’s been a disturbing shift. It’s less inspiration, more pressure. Pressure to spend more, look better, hustle harder, and still seem “effortless.” Maybe the real flex is being normal, honest, and a little unpolished.

Yoshinobu Yamamoto pitching a no hitter tonight in Toronto seems like the most obvious thing to happen in MLB history.

I would like to nominate Dub Gleed for the Hall of Name. That is the most “this guy was born to play baseball” name I’ve ever heard. He’s only 23 but his name sounds like he’s been in the league since 1974…

Raptors up 50 in the 4th and Darko still coaching like it’s Game 7 of the Finals 😂 Man’s calling plays, yelling rotations, probably drawing up a timeout speech like the championship is on the line. It’s funny but I appreciate the work ethic.

Day 4 of the MLB season and it already feels like we’re headed for an all-timer. Today was absolute chaos and absolute cinema in the best possible way. My personal favourite was watching CB Buckner visibly heated over ABS. Baseball is so back baby!

I feel like baseball is the only sport where every season something happens that has never previously happened before. For example: Johan Duran became the first Phillies reliever ever to save a game at home on Opening Day. 🤯 So it took 140+ years for that happen… Only. In. Baseball.

I’m convinced Sid Sixero is just farming reactions at this point with the “don’t celebrate the ALCS” take. Imagine telling fans: “Yeah that playoff run you lived and died with? Pretend it didn’t happen.” Isn’t it best to have full closure with that run and also start the season with good vibes?

A friend said something today that hit harder than expected: “I’m kind of sad a new season is starting… it means the last one is actually done.” A new chapter forces you to admit the last one isn’t coming back. Amazing ride, tragic ending.. but a new one starts Friday. Happy Opening Day Eve

The founder of OnlyFans passed away and Sora AI shutting down was announced around the same time… Either the cosmic algorithm hit “reset,” or it’s just a completely normal Tuesday on the internet.

Just saw this on ESPN and I’m nominating it for the MadLibs headline hall of fame: “Quadruple amputee pro cornhole player charged after allegedly fatally shooting passenger in car while driving during argument”

Umpire Bill Miller getting caught on a hot mic saying “please be a strike” is the most relatable thing I’ve seen all week. I’ve had to work in 40°C and have had many “please be a strike” moments 😂

I get the “don’t kink shame” rule… but I’m drawing the line at people thirsting over Ms. Met. That’s just… weird, man.

Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups he pushes the Earth down.

This might go down as the wildest sports night of the year if Italy can hang on to beat USA at the WBC… Bam Adebayo just scored 83 points vs the Wizards 👀

Happy MAR10 Day. We kinda need dumb, joyful stuff like this right now. The news cycle is a nonstop boss battle: geopolitical tensions, gas prices climbing and a whole lot more… the general feeling that the world accidentally selected “Hard Mode.” So go enjoy Mario Day and the WBC. No apologies.

Congratulations to Sports Illustrated for achieving the impossible: squeezing three top entries from the “Jerk Store” into a single headline. “Aaron Rodgers’s snipe at FBI Director Kash Patel had Pat McAfee cracking up.”

In an effort to look prime-ministerial, Pierre Poilievre rolls out “CANZUK” … a strategic partnership with Australia, the UK, and New Zealand. But I have one question: Who signed off on that acronym? CANZUK sounds like a rejected Pokémon. Does it evolve into Commonwealthasaur at Level 36?

There is a high likelihood that actual evidence the Trump admin. is corrupt exists because we know that new Polymarket accounts made massive bets on the exact timing of U.S. strikes on Iran minutes before they happened turning huge profits but of course nobody cares to investigate these things…

What’s bothering me most isn’t just the use of force… it’s whether diplomacy was truly exhausted and whether the proper process and thresholds were met before crossing that line. Military action shouldn’t come from frustration or impatience. It should meet an extremely high bar.

You can reject the use of force as a first option. You can worry about escalation. And you can still stand firmly against a government that has oppressed its own people for decades. Being thoughtful isn’t weakness. It’s being the adult in the room.

I did already lose most of my respect for the UFC as a serious sports organization… but after hearing Sean Strickland at that press conference? Yeah. I’m out for good.

If a Tyson-Mayweather exhibition is a “must-see,” boxing’s officially living on nostalgia and hype, not skill. It’s actually kind of sad what the sport has degenerated into… From Thrilla in Manila to Thrilla in Retirement Villa 😥

Most celebrity death announcements hit hard but losing James Van Der Beek hits differently when you grew up watching him and realize you’re basically the same age. It’s a strange, sobering reminder of how fragile this whole thing is.

Andy Ogles filing a formal congressional inquiry over Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl halftime show might be the clearest example of missing the plot in real time. Imagine surveying everything happening in America right now and deciding, “Yes. That one second of hip movement… That is the real problem!”

MLB offers a free month of ESPN Unlimited when you sign up and subscribers can cancel the ESPN subscription during their free trial and still retain access to MLB TV throughout the entire season. To cancel the sub you must know the secret handshake, the correct chant, and Manfred’s shoe size.

From start to finish that Bad Bunny halftime show was amazing. Congrats to Bad Bunny for making halftime feel less like a concert and more like a celebration everyone was invited to. This one’s gonna be talked about for a long time and definitely one for ages.

Buck called it straight, praised the game when it deserved it, and never talked down to the fans. He made wins sweeter, losses easier to swallow, and big moments feel even bigger. For a lot of us, Blue Jays baseball won’t ever sound quite the same without him. Thank you, Buck, for the memories.

Watched SNL’s “Mom Confession” sketch thinking it was just a classic awkward mom joke. Turns out for a LOT of Americans it was the best sketch in years because it showed a mom admitting she was wrong about Trump. That’s why SNL still matters. Comedy, sure… but also accidental group therapy.

I’m officially over this 7 day free trial of living in the arctic. How do I unsubscribe? I’ve hit “cancel subscription” 14 times, the app crashed, and now it’s asking if I’d like to upgrade to Frostbite Pro.

Jon Cooper really said, “Say hello to my little power play.” Man walked out dressed like Scarface like he was about to coach the Lightning and take over Tampa’s cocaine trade.

Reese McGuire signs minor league deal with the Brewers. Proof that in baseball, no matter how awkward your past… there’s always another parking lot… I mean opportunity.

Bill Belichick not being a first ballot Hall of Famer is the funniest NFL joke since the Jets.

I’ve seen so many dirty polar vortex weather maps today… co-workers looking over on my screen must think I have a weather map kink…

The culture wars never cease to amaze me. Now it’s The Masters of the Universe trailer. Trolls saw “Adam Glenn He/Him” and immediately screamed WOKE, like they didn’t grow up watching a guy whose literal superhero name is HE-MAN. My guys… the pronouns have been baked into the branding since 1982.

Yesterday was a masterclass in how sports press conferences are completely unwinnable. On one podium, an owner actually told the truth about some behind the scenes stuff and got absolutely cooked for it. On the other, players served up some very obvious half-truths and still got roasted.

Apple is reportedly working on a wearable AI pin… basically an AirTag that can see you, hear you, and talk back. Camera, speaker, microphone, the whole surveillance starter pack. Do people actually want this?… I feel like all the new wearables were designed to invade peoples privacy…

“Bluesky dissed Grok on X” is a sentence that nobody would have understood three years ago. Now it’s just Monday on the internet.

Myles Straw just posted this on IG and quickly deleted it. Epic troll or foreshadowing? 👀

Tarik Skubal has filed his arbitration number at $32 million, while the Tigers filed at $19 million. Detroit’s front office really said, “Two Cy Youngs? Cool. But what if you were paid like a very confident No. 3 starter?”