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tried playing Marvel Rivals for the first time in months last night bc i miss playing shooters with my friends… but wow i am SO bad it’s embarrassing 😭

im in the mood to play something scary but nothing i come up with seems right to scratch the itch. i wish i could erase Silent Hill 2 from my brain and play it again

on one hand im looking forward to finishing my BG3 playthrough so I can play other games. But on the other hand BG3 is so unique and all-encompassing that any game I follow up with is gonna feel underwhelming/hollow 😫

i was talking about a Baldur’s Gate battle??? tiktok is so lame ugh

anyone out there play MLB the show? my Dad is trying to simulate a game in offline mode and no matter how many time he edits his roster, the CPU changes the lineup once he tries to start a game. He says its never done this before and I can't for the life of me find any info anywhere. PLEASE HELP 😭🙏

just finished my first Davinci Resolve "class" and man is it a lot to absorb. but it feels so good to be learning again!! very excited to finally develop the tools to tackle the projects i want 💪

my stomach was shockingly normal in Mexico but it’s getting its vengeance today 😭 i didn’t even eat anything weird, like ive had the exact same food today as yesterday. my body hates me man.

im excited to get back to streaming tonight!! hopefully i can remember how to play BG3 after like 2 weeks away lmao

man the PS5's UI is actual garbage. Trying to set my Dad up with his own profile on my PS5 so he can remote play the new MLB game (literally the ONLY game he plays) without buying a whole new system for it. And you can't even edit the home screen? Hide games?? Even make folders??? wtf is this

i know it seems silly to say about a vacation (which was lovely btw) but it involved really pushing myself out of my comfort zone in ways i haven’t in years. and it feels… pivotal. like i broke down a big wall that had grown much taller than i’d realized.

made it to Mexico :)

no matter how comprehensive a list i write or how carefully i pack, i am forever plagued by the feeling that im forgetting something 😭

when you fall asleep with cramps and wake up in the morning STILL having cramps 🫠

i was very productive today and got a bunch of stuff done that was stressing me out 😎👉👉 and i am being rewarded for it by my uterus trying to turn itself into a pretzel 😭

I hard launched my consultation business today and it's nerve-wracking! I've already been doing some work since December but I never went fully public with it. I announced it on LinkedIn and have an official business page for myself. Don't worry, I'm still working as a host/producer for hire!

oh my god i forgot it was my twitch partner anniversary AGAIN. i do this EVERY year, i dont think ive ever actually celebrated it bc its march 1st and it just totally sneaks up on me every time. impromptu stream party tomorrow?

woke up at 4am with some sort of food poisoning and now i feel like death warmed over 🫠

fuck i forgot how easy it is to DO things when my adhd is medicated. what the fuck.

okay. day two of starting back on adderall. i took it much earlier and i am absolutely NOT drinking any coffee (even though i really want it 😭). hopefully i don’t spend 7 hours feeling cracked out like yesterday 🤞🏻

Tip-A-Thon SCHEDULE TONIGHT: 1st. Yapping 2nd. (2) games of Pokémon Unite 3rd. (2) games of Marvel Rivals 4th. Opening (1) pack of Pokémon cards 5th. SIGNALIS, cont'd! Come through \o/ twitch.tv/okaydrian

realizing ive never taken adderall without my antidepressant... and i drank coffee today before i knew my RX was filled....

just took my first adderall dose in years and im feeling hopeful :) ive been kinda struggling and stagnant for a while so it feels good to take concrete steps towards being better

its been a really terrible week without access to my meds so i am being irresponsible and buying myself a dopamine boost majima will fix me

Booker slammed his favorite bottle cap into a gap between the baseboard and the floor and now it’s completely jammed in there, beyond retrieval. and he won’t. stop. screaming for it. just relentless wailing. you would think that he’s dying. and im fucking LOSING IT

i had to throw away my entire record collection a few years ago bc they got damaged and it was so depressing i haven’t bought another one since. this is the first time ive been tempted to dust off my old turntable again… 👀

i pushed through the type of emotional wall that used to send me spiraling and self-destructing and i feel really good about myself :)

Also hey I made a Vgen! I wanna take some commissions through here, but I am ALWAYS open for commissions regardless at Austenmarie.com If you have a Vgen consider following me there? its a lot to set up and Im a little overwhelmed but I need to do more art this year. vgen.co/AustenMarie

they really weren't kidding when they named the breed "ragdoll". i wanted to encourage Booker to go out on his catio so I tried to set him down on the (extra wide) windowsill and he just... didnt use his back legs?? so i had to catch him to stop him from falling off! and now he's pissed at me.

nobody talk to me i live on hello kitty island now

he’s mad cus there’s snow in his catio

Ichiban coming to Dave the Diver

Dave the Diver is getting Yakuza DLC???? oh i am SO down for that

i miss her

iiiiiiii think i might have to drop to explorer difficulty in BG3 today 🫣 it would be one thing if i only had to learn the class/spells for my character. having to learn and memorize everything for everyone in the party? oof

my vocal cords feel back to normal today! and i have an appointment on the books to get my meds represcribed PLUS gonna ask about getting back on adderall. things are lookin up 😎👉👉

immunity-boosting tea + extra strength advil + new Invincible episodes

yeah, i gotta cancel tonight. my throat is just getting worse. talking or making sound at all is going from very uncomfortable to downright painful and i don’t wanna make it worse :( i hope it feels better tomorrow bc not being able to yap is kind of my nightmare lol

idk what’s going on cus i don’t have a sore throat or any cold symptoms but it hurts to talk? Like i somehow strained my vocal cords? ugh. might be a short stream tonight 😓

Saturday’s are for snuggles 💕

BG3 is about as overwhelming as i expected and trying to learn everything while off my meds is 10x more exhausting..... but i get it. im allllllll in baby 😈

starting my first ever playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3 right now!! ive never played anything like this before (never even played DnD) so im a little intimidated but VERY excited to see what all the fuss is about :3 twitch.tv/bijoudemi

i go thru phases of organization/disorganization but when i remember to keep notes i feel so much better. its like bonus dopamine points :)

gonna try to finish the rest of the story missions in Fallout tonight!! we can always return to the Wasteland for exploring and shenanigans but im ready to move onto BG3 asap 👀 twitch.tv/bijoudemi

setting up a really cool new alert system that i can customize depending on the game im playing and im SO STOKED. this BG3 playthrough is gonna be a BLAST ahhh

god i forgot how insane the fatigue without Wellbutrin is. this is why i used to drink 6 shots of espresso a day 😭 i really hope my refill goes through tomorrow cus otherwise this week is gonna be rough man.

i had a double vietnamese iced coffee and i can feel my brain vibrating inside my skull

my pharmacy app didn’t notify me that i was out of refills like it usually does and they don’t process requests during the weekend… and i just took my last pill this morning. this week is gonna be rough 😭

a persona 4 ng+ run will fix me

FUCK now all i wanna do is play Persona 5 again heLP