Nobody there was a “journalist”… they’re all sycophantic jingoist social media whores participating in spreading fascist lies. Get fukked.

Truly, how I feel about the whole thing

There was maybe more than 100 journalists, the best of the best of the US, and they all got the story and basic details wrong for like an hour. Kind of embarassing really.

I assure you, right now is the *perfect* time to discuss gun control.

“If only there was a doll to teach my daughter codependence…”

HILARIOUS… and they will all gladly submit depositions.

If you like shoegaze, check out my friend’s BF’s band… they’re rather good. sipul.bandcamp.com/track/no-end

Aaaand scene…🚮

Me: I just scored a pristine vintage vinyl set of Pavarotti in Turnadot Also Me: I just scored a pristine 12” single of Lords of Acid’s “Pussy”

Picture it - December of 1991. I just came home for Christmas break after my first semester in college and I'm so sophisticated and smoking clove cigarettes... My Father: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?? ARE YOU HAVING STATIONS OF THE CROSS IN THE LIVING ROOM??

Please hoe responsibly.

Really, it’s for their own good. They’re so delicate and fragile. I mean the men.

He really does look like that.

Bees: Making honey? In this economy??

The Dowager Empress of Richland and Barrington bids you all a good morning.

Person: Commits fraud Friend’s Bro: You should publicize that in a podcast!

Too good and on point. Had to pull it out of the vault for a repost.

“Copilot lied to me!!!” - Recently overheard in a meeting where someone spent $50K in a marketing campaign to acquire 66 new customers who will each spend under $100

Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings

Dying in office because you insisted on clinging to power until the very end instead of letting a new generation of leaders rise should be seen for the shameful, egomaniacal act that it is.

Reporter: What do you make of Republicans saying that Virginia— AOC: Wah wah wah. We have asked Republicans for 10 years to ban partisan gerrymandering. And for 10 years, Republicans have said no. What they’re just mad at is that they have been accustomed to a Democratic Party that rolls over.

Yes, please. All the vaccines. Risks be damned.

Work today…

Back in 1991, I wrote a college paper where I argued, “once the general public has access to the Internet, people will most certainly make more informed decisions based on facts.” Oh you sweet innocent child.

Trickle down economics has been such a drug for middle class voters.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Wrong. That’s not how dementia works.

💀💀💀

I wish I enjoyed 🌱 Instead I just get paranoid and cry for hours in a terror spiral. It’s not pretty. 0/10 for me, but hope you all enjoy yourselves.

Oooh - my birthday present to myself just arrived!!

They just picked only the worst, most incompetent, least qualified and most unhinged and unstable people didn’t they?

His son is his accountability partner… babe, that’s called emotional incest and enmeshment.

Are they all just dressed like Kim Catrall?

Gay men: Let your newly divorced girlfriends know it’s perfectly ok to whore around.

This is the most Gen X response ever… fuck that kiss cam woman. 🤣

In my world, we politely call this “unmanageability,” and choices will soon be presented with limited options for him: recovery, death or institutionalization. As much as he deserves it, don’t revel in his mess.

Live Nation CEO Sentenced To 10 Years In Online Queue

Advertisement or warning? Perhaps a little of both!

I sent a classified letter to House and Senate colleagues about a secret interpretation of surveillance law that every American should be concerned about. Representative Massie is right. The Constitution requires EVERY member to vote against a clean reauthorization.

This existence is a simulation and we’re all being punked.

Not bluesky apparently… Jesus… sober up!

"You're just voluntarily complying with this whimsical cosplay" -- holy shit, Tim Kaine is *demolishing* Russ Vought

WHY IS THE ONION SO PRESCIENT?!?!

YEAAAAHHHHH!!! Fucking FINALLY!

WHY AM I GETTING ADS ON INSTAGRAM FOR MINIATURE TRAVEL POUCHES FOR “ELECTROLYTES”??

It does not sound like things are going well on Truth Social or Twitter.

Jesus Alice, I’ve been waiting for your fucking text. Be here at 9 AM sharp tomorrow we have a backlog of dicks that need sucking.

We really need to go back to the days of throwing drinks in people’s faces again. He clearly has not experienced that nearly enough.

IT’S HAPPENING! IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING!!