Me: *pours my heart out to you, looking for validation and support* You: "okay" Me: *faints*

It's amazing how much rejection has clouded my thinking. I'm hyper aware of every single thing I do wrong or might be interpreted wrong, and expect to be chastised for it or left because of it.

Spent the whole week seeing a friend for snugs, food, and companionship, it was great! Now it's time to lock in and focus on moving to a place where I can have that more often.

I feel like almost all jobs are going to be gone within the next 10 years. And it would be an exciting prospect for us to be able to pursue creative things, if I had any faith the government was going to properly take care of us.

I'm excited to live in an area with a lot of people again. Last time I felt like I could find sufficient friends was... 2019? When I lived in California. And I'm better equipped to socialize now than when I was then.

Why is it that when other people tell me they want to get closer I say yes, but when I'm the one who intiates I get ghosted?

I need someone who can give my hyperactive brain a lot to think about.

There needs to be an app for board gamers of similar tastes to find each other to meet up and play games.

Pros to being my friend: I won't just leave you suddenly for being too cowardly to handle conflict. That's all you need really.

Wondering who around NYC, Philly, New Jersey, heck anywhere in the northeast would hang out with me if I moved there. Starting to get excited!

I like to have a lot of friends, every person is a new experience and I love new experiences. I wish people would understand that when they see that I'm always trying to forge new bonds, it's not that I don't like them, it's that I never put all my eggs in one basket.

Tumby stretches out much longer than legs. Ideal shape.

Face reveal. Wrong answers only!

I want to open a board game cafe so baddd. Making a living buying and teaching people games sounds so good.

Happy #tummytuesday! I come seeking rubs.

I wanna know who would go on a date with me so I can make plans to visit and go on a date 👉👈

I really think with the right people around I'd be able to do a lot more with my life. I kill a lot of time seeking simple pleasures to cope with being alone and it doesn't even work that well.

Life kinda feels like everything could be coming together soon. Please don't let this be a fluke like the Vegas move...

In the mood to give all my size to someone and live in their shirt pocket forever.

feels like ive forgotten how to draw. but it is done and ott is pear shaped

I have not been drawn pear shaped yet. This is a problem, I would like to be pear shaped.

New Frieren opening is pretty good except I can't unhear every time the singer says "attataku" it sounds like "I got the cock"...

At this point I'm going to have a different collar for every friend that wants to collar me. ...worth.

The best possible treatment for me is increasing the time I can be around people. I have enough independence. But spending only a tiny fraction of my day with others is not okay.

I feel like I'm so fixated on the likely possibility that someone just leaves me without saying anything that it's hard to actually form attachment. Believing someone won't do that and investing energy into them is really hard.

It's so hard for me to pay attention to anything that's not board games. And so easy for me to pay attention to board games. Just wish I could divert some of that attention to other things.

Every time I saw a children's cartoon with a little critter pet, I wanted to be treated like that. Being a shoulder buddy or carried around and shown off to everyone sounds sooo nice.

Everybody brings up the idea of collar and leash shopping when I hang out with them. Are you all trying to tell me something?

Can someone explain to me why people are mass buying milk for the snowstorm? If the power goes out wouldn't that be the first thing to go?

As someone with no creative impulses, it's hard not to feel worthless when I'm always being urged to make a game or music or art or something. Sometimes just being a good friend, offering hugs, showing people a board game brings enough value into the world I think.

I think I'm emotionally recovered enough to think about moving again. After considering a lot of places, I still think my eyes should be on the east coast.

#OtterAwards25 #1: Everdell Silverfrost The quaint world of Everdell just keeps getting better and better. While each game uses the same mechanics, they all change it up in their own ways and Silverfrost adds a fun little dose of ~anxiety~ to things that's actually quite fun.

It's cuddle weather this #tummytuesday - come here for some comfort, why don't you?

People say pessimism is harmful, but it's actually kind of nice to just expect nothing and be surprised when good things happen.

Beginning to think my #1 criteria for moving to a place should be somewhere that I can find people to play my board games with.

#OtterAwards25 BG #2: Critter Kitchen My favorite themes, animals and food, in one game! And despite the cute exterior, it is a pretty cutthroat game. Critter Kitchen is all about sending workers out to different locations to get ingredients, but you send them all out at the same time. That means

If you're over 200, drop a belly.

I'm about to play all my complex board games solo because I know damn well convincing someone to actually play them with me is impossible LMAO ;-;

Making friends in the 2020s really sucks when you don't get much out of online hangouts huh.

#OtterAwards25 BG #3: Galactic Cruise If you know me, it should be no surprise that I like big heavy things, and this game is all the big heavy game with none of the frustration that usually comes with them. Setup is easy, the rulebook is clear as day, and it comes with a player guide that explains

Are furries everywhere antisocial and afraid of leaving their homes? Or have I just gotten unlucky with all the places I've lived. Found more of a community with normie board gamers than furries.

Despite everything, it's still ott

Today was a good step towards feeling better. Got some good hangout time in with my mom and local friends. Planning stuff with people to hopefully get me in a safer place. Hope is coming back slowly.

New crazy idea: maybe I should live in Seattle. Idk. Where do I even go anymore?

Looking to reddit about what to do about treatment resistant depression was not the answer. I'm now only more convinced there's no helping me.

I think often about this highway bridge over a large river valley and how annoyed I am that there's huge fences on it... it would be perfect...

I don't even know if I can make it another year to be honest. Things are getting worse fast.