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Donkey Kong: master of foreplay

The weirdest part about Donkey Kong Bananza is that the intro of the game is basically just the intro to Starfield.

Creditors with machine guns kicking down my front door and mowing down my family as I've ghosted them for 6 months after using Affirm to buy all the Train Simulator DLC

The Switch version of Link's Awakening running on Switch 2 no longer drops frames! It would frequently dip to 30 (thanks, double buffering) but now even the swamp stays locked to 60! Was worried it might need a patch or something.

Can't stop looking at Mario's Li'l Dumpy...

Who's your spirit hoe?

Who up eccoing them dolphin?

Getting my sleep study results Doctor: And these spikes are where your stupid brain just didn't want to breathe Me: Oh that's not good, there's a lot of those Doctor: Yeah, 58.3 per hour Me: So is this why I feel like trash every day? Doctor: This would be why you feel like trash every day.

Anyone else cry whenever they read such masterful prose?

When there's only a tiny amount left, does anyone else just pour the remainder of their soda/milk/whatever liquid real slowly, like it's going to somehow get you more?

Kid, I don't think you're deciphering an ancient language...

i'm here you fuckaas bitch

Oh neat, I can just roleplay as myself in Wanderstop.

If you're a REAL gamer, you'll spend 50 Nintendo platinum coins to download the March-only calendar jpeg for Xenoblade Chronicles X Remastered, which has the release date pre-circled. Also if you scroll to the bottom of the page there's a pre-order button that redirects to the DKCR HD page.

Saw this on Craigslist yesterday, still thinking about it.

There's no joy quite like the thrill of watching a Youtuber make a somber video reflecting on a topic that's deeply, personally important to them, and then they pronounce "epitome" as it's spelled like 30 times throughout the video. Maybe cap it off with an "exspecially."

You know, I wasn't sure how a Danganronpa spin-off game would be, but I gotta say... it's growing on me. #ACAB

Do British astrophysicists call them blaggoles

So... I've been meaning to ask. Did everyone on BlueSky just learn the word "praxis" like a month ago or something? I swear I've seen the word used once prior to posting here and now it's every third post.

Pfft, all narratives are just things that happened!

I am here very specifically just to see the "Happy Sunday, gamers"-while-posting-a-photo-of-Metaphor-being-played-on-a-device crowd. Everyone else is just icing on the cake.

Well, $152 was more than I was intending to spend on this sale, but I love me some indie games.

Man, late-game Metaphor ReFantazio feels awfully, super-specifically familiar... Every other line for the last 2 hours has been like "oh god not here too"

Okay, that little jingle that plays when you plug in an island to the big tree in Mario & Luigi, it sounds so familiar... Like I remember the rest of a bigger song. Any idea what I'm thinking of? It 100% sounds like something that already exists.

So how long before all water filters come with fluoride reservoirs after RFK takes it away?

I'm pretty sure I put it elsewhere years ago, but I can't remember where. So I'll put it here too: Saitama is definitely just a reverse Samson. That dude grows a single hair and his power's GONE. I haven't seen past season 2 of the show so if this obvious fact is already revealed, ignore me.

@scottthewoz.bsky.social Hey Scott, all here. Haha, bet you never heard that one.

Everytime someone talk about the game award's the only image that come to my mind is this one

Been keeping an eye on the SteamDB page for Silent Hill 2 once every few days. They must be whipping up one hell of a patch, new changed depots multiple times per day, every single day (excluding weekends) since the previous patch. Wonder if they're going to further boost performance?

This was... not an easy fight at level 13 on the hardest difficulty. Fun, though! I like that I can take on something that's level 32 and still have a fighting chance so long as I don't get hit too much and time my heals judiciously.

I think one of my favorite little things here right now is someone posting an image or a link to a news article and saying some completely unrelated phrase that probably sounds good and makes perfect sense in their head, but without context everyone else is like "WHAT???"

//location Bell End, England

//location Hooker, Oklahoma

Had a weird dream about an app that compared your daily energy levels/exercise streak to the same days in previous years. Was exceptionally depressing. "10/10/2019: 23 days without exercise, high energy," vs "10/10/2024: 0 days without exercise, very low energy" Highly distressing, do not recommend

Modders for DQ 3 already doing some good work! Besides uncapping the FPS, this simple little mod just resizes the initial combat box UI element so that it no longer blocks the first character in the party! No idea why they insisted on covering them up to begin with!

This is just getting stupid

Bro, come ON! He hasn't even taken office yet!

"Tweet" was never good, either. You just got used to it over time. Like the Nintendo Wii. C'mon man, they called it the WII.

So weird of Square Enix to cap DQ III HD-2D to 60 FPS. Already a Cheat Engine table out there to just have whatever FPS you want. No issues or speed-up occurs, it just works. Seems like a bizarre oversight. Looks so good at 240 FPS!

This kid just doesn't get it.

Yo how long they been running this grift

Anyone feel just utterly betrayed when a game automates a gameplay mechanic that you think is fun? Don't worry man, you don't need to hit the attack button in this game. No problem friend, this fella will automatically jump over every gap. Lemme auto-aim for ya pal! What are you DOING??

Yo what if they mandate that weird app Mike Johnson and his son use to monitor each other's porn usage? Do we get to pick a porn partner? Are they assigned randomly? Is it exclusively father-and-son duos?

This line of dialogue has consistently popped into my head at least once a week for the last year.

So here's the thing: you just can't campaign on reaching out to the other side, by shifting their way. All that says is "yes, you're correct on these issues, so join me as I do what your guy's gonna do, but not as well." Campaign on what YOUR base actually wants, get them EXCITED to vote!

Stop what you’re doing and post a gif of your favorite anime

If nothing else, your takeaway from this should never be "maybe we should be less of who we are." Don't waste time trying to court them for votes. It NEVER works, it's a losing strategy, and they've never ONCE done it to get our votes. They are loudly, obnoxiously who they are, and so should we be.