Whenever a food related aspect of the food industry arises in Ivy-League Food School, convention is to describe the kinds of foods it might pertain to, and then go on to describe what that food is used for.

put my peas in today! and a bed of greens. gaaaaahhhh it's so purely satisfying to make food from scratch

I'm having a birthday party next week, and I just made some vegan ice cream from my plum-based hot sauce (that is also a joke about prince) RAIN and holy fuck! It's really hot! I mean good! But hot! Anyway if you're coming over bring a different kind of ice cream to eat after

Oh. RIP Glen Baxter. You were one of the weirdest ones.

I've been a little too much up my own ass to think about my birthday, so I was delighted to be serenaded today with the traditional Anne Elizabeth Month opening theme song, which is any strong of words you'd like to string together, so long as they include "birthday" and "Anne Elizabeth Month".

I had a conversation with a man today who has never been to the Twin Cities, but told me several stories about other people from the Twin Cities and how much they talk about it. I was like, "Yeah, it's the perfect place to grow up, it's really pretty but there's a ton to do..." and went on.

Hey heads up. My hot-sauce company's spring release is called CHEEP and for tomorrow only you can preorder it for five bucks with coupon code CHEEP! CHEEP! It's like a lovingly handcrafted, allergen-free version of the sauce you grew up with.

Today's unintended lesson from ivy-league food school is that a lot more people would bother to learn basic health and safety measures in food production if any of the lecturers were any good at public speaking

I love to tears that someone already put this on my blocklist. Bluesky will take care of our own until the app is pried from our cold, dead hands.

Hey remember that time I stumbled across a group of moms sleeping in the field house of their kids' elementary school to demand a library? www.wbez.org/news/2010/09...

I need to go on record now, before it airs, that I find everything about THE MINIATURE WIFE objectionable

Today's hot sauce emergency had me listing my appropriate flavors for a hot-ones style event the local alumni association is putting on

Stop worrying about what YA books to let your kids read and let them sort it out with V C Andrews and cocaine era Stephen King as God intended

Spring cleaning has taken a wild turn this year. I'm renovating everything to its 1880s original, whyyyyy

Reposting because Instagram had a clear favorite. I bet it's different here!

Sorry I always wake up cranky when machines try to tell me that what I'm doing does not please the machine

I have received another bot email from an AI book marketing professional who is "expert in Amazon rankings" and I just want to clarify one key point from the email:

Hey pals: Rose O'Neill or Tove Jansson? Serious question.

Super excited for the day that Trump assigns us each our own ICE agents to live in our houses and spit in our faces and make fun of us as we, like, cook dinner or whatever. A massive racist misogynist pet armed to the teeth with no identification. That asshat is gonna feel so uncomfortable

for those in the back row, Milo is the author of such zine statements as "queer space communism", and helped found the queer zine archive project

Oh thank you, that is true. The illos in that book were particularly stand-out! (I did not do them)

@chrisqzap.bsky.social, @miloblue.bsky.social, @doormouse12.bsky.social : Is Gramma Zinester the right term for someone who made a thing others still use to make zines, and is also oldening? Or should I have stuck with the more standard Aging Punker? Please advise

About once a month I get contacted by a Very Smart Woman Student who starts off wanting to know how I "got my job" and "what exactly it is that I do". These are great questions and I am not making fun! But by the end of the interview, they usually ask why they don't know anyone who makes zines.

Got an email that was not an AI scam, which I could tell because it was from a man who didn't claim to have read my work at all, but did demand I contact him for correct information on the subjects I write on.

We're finally on the "mouthfeel" unit in food school!

what the fuck hochul

hm, drones flying over the local prison and dropping knives into the yard is like way more news than the county paper can manage

My hot sauce company is hosting a literary reading on April 18 with Rebecca Novack and @meganmilks.bsky.social at Dear Native Grapes, a local heritage winery. If you are wondering whether or not it will be worth traveling for: it will be. Plan your weekends now!

Wow. I did not think Dolores Huerta could possibly rise any further in my esteem. And yet:

Did a very cool thing today! Loaded my corned beef (kiss me i'm irish) into the oven and set the timer for 30 hours instead of 3! Then erased that and reset it! Then when the timer went off three hours later (just now) discovered I had turned off the oven when I turned the timer off the first time!

hey Mayor, gonna have to stop you right there, I just can't afford to get emotional about St. Patrick's Day right now

Also in food school, for the record, the polyphenols dude wears a ball cap and sunglasses indoors at all times

In food school right now we are reading recent recall notices on products where at least one death has occurred and omg dewds please never eating anything mass produced

Jesse Plemons deserves at least five Oscars for "Most Effective Scrawniness" and Emma Stone should have been nominated for "Looks Good Bald"

Instead of watching the Oscars last night I watched BUGONIA, in the only attempt I have ever made to watch nominated films before it's too late to root for one. I scraped by with second to spare and then faced immediate disappointment which is why I'll never do that again

OMG I just sat through a video lecture for food school on not introducing "rocks" into your food product and I just have to ask how that became the bar, cause it's pretty low

I am about to interview a popstar whose mom, I just discovered, was in Murder She Wrote, so it's fair to throw all my prepared questions away and focus on that, right?!?!?!

If you are tracking the independent hot sauce world for some reason, please be advised that there are multiple scams afloat: today I highlight the one where stores ask you to come provide free samples to their customers, they keep all profits from any sales made, plus you pay them for the honor.

god i hate these people so fucking much

i can not look at this guy without thinking, "i'm gonna punch you in the face"

Maybe this will seem less half-assed if I tell you my ivy-league food school is demanding I do this. I will be so psyched if I get an A!!!! I haven't gotten any grade at all since.....I graduated college in 1992

do you want to fill out my snack chip feasibility survey? www.surveymonkey.com/r/KTB2CRW

Oh and in hot sauce news, HOT GRL BOX is going fast. Do you want one? www.tinkertownprovisions.com/product-page...

In completely and totally unrelated news, the secret book project is, for now, a go.

First day back in my commercial kitchen in over a month and, you know what, my tolerance for peppers is completely gone. One jalapeno and I was masking like it's 2020.

Remember your dreams? Has private student loan debt destroyed those dreams?

It's an honor that shifts daily, but right now "meditation" is the part of my day I most dread.

I, too, will be at AWP. On this Wednesday morning panel with these awesome geniuses, and then signing at the @feministpress.bsky.social table at 12:30 that day, with those awesome geniuses.

uh you guys there is an anti-aging wellness douchebag in my food science course and he is responding to everything everyone says with advice for how their food or beverage products can increase polyphenols

I have made the bizarre (for so many reasons) decision to pursue a weird new food tech certificate so for the next six months I'm going to be cooking a LOT and I strongly suggest you DO NOT come over