*big inhale* *holding for 12 days*

Git yer dam gubmint outta my congress

I'm afraid there will be little legal recourse for Kimmel since he was fired by ABC and not directly punished by the FCC/gov't. I think it would be a case of ABC v. Nexstar and we already know ABC stands for A Bunch of Cowards. Hope I'm wrong.

WGA Statement on ABC’s Decision to Pull Jimmy Kimmel Live!

You just know whenever the next Democratic politician/pundit is killed Nancy Mace is going to imply it was deserved or even required and somehow Soros was involved.

I'm doing a lot of stress eating these days. Also a lot of stress not-working-out.

I just hope he doesn't get Jack Ruby'd by yet another RWNJ.

It shocking to me how quickly everyone - EVERYONE - wants to jump to conspiracy theories about multiple gunmen, secret signals, decoy suspects in the crowd, inside jobs, etc. when someone famous (or infamous) is attacked. "Only a professional assassin could have made that shot!" Plainly incorrect.

I'm trying to prepare for the most incomprehensible political opinions today.

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I've never, ever wanted kids. Never liked kids, even when I was a kid. But there's something a little sad about knowing I'm a dead branch on my family tree.

People who put their trash cans out on the usual day after a holiday are hereby forbidden from owning real estate.

I was explaining to someone that I have a hard time in interviews because I don't like to toot my own horn. Her advice: "You should at least bring the horn."

People who use "lightning" and "lightening" interchangeably don't get to vote.

A step towards appeasement and subjugation is not a step towards real peace.

If and when Democrats or anything resembling Democrats get back into power, I want to see 42 new Supreme Court Justices, independent redistricting made the law of the land, statehood to Puerto Rico and D.C., and electoral college reform.

I don't know about you, but I'm making a point of never patronizing businesses who serve me with shitty mobile ads using even shittier AI voiceovers that can't put the emPHAsis on the CORrect syllABLEs. Lookin at you Home Chef.

Finally getting these milkweeds to pay off.

I think a clip of Trump stroking out mid-signature on whatever lame ass executive order he's got and collapsing into a drooling, overgrown fetus at his big desk would be the most watched YouTube clip of all time.

Dear phone companies, All I want for Christmas is an easy way to block ALL calls from VOIP numbers. This should not be hard.

Very telling that when I simply state "Don't be a bigot" all the conservatives come out to say "b-b-but YOU'RE being a bigot against conservatives!" Kinda calling yourself out there, eh?

It's always been a bit frustrating sharing a birthday with the country. People assume I must be patriotic as hell. I would love to be. I see very little worth celebrating today. It's hard to see a way forward with the psychopaths in control. They want us to give up and I'm very close to doing that.

It's a good day for bullies and aspiring agents for the police state.

President / Vice President 2028 So Much for the Tolerant Left

After the latest No Kings protests there was a homeless guy screaming to everyone/no one, 'Y'all are trying to start a revolution! There is no such thing as a nonviolent revolution! So what are you really doing out here?!' I think about him a lot.

I'm looking at job posts on LinkedIn which send me to a totally unrelated job search site and when I click on jobs there it sends me to YET ANOTHER totally unrelated job site (or back to LinkedIn). These sites are fucking worthless, it's just an ouroboros of fake job posts forever and ever.

The "I voted for this" people should be signing up for basic training right about now if they are true believers.

I keep hoping that the good people inside ICE will put a stop to this horseshit and then I remembered that good people don't join ICE.

Tariffs obviously aren't doing anything except making manufacturers gird their loins until this fuckface is out of office. Whatever boom we'll get in manufacturing has probably already happened during Biden's term.

Yeah, but is Pa Kent going to do that weird wiggly eye thing that actor does in all his creepy roles?

Old favorite Steven Wright joke: "I spilled some spot remover on my dog and now he's gone." New favorite: "My girlfriend asked me if I slept okay and I said, 'No, I made a few mistakes.'"

Is it better to learn you were almost hired on a project but passed over for a political hire or to never hear about the job in the first place?

After spending 4 hours digging up part of my yard, I now know why bodies are found in shallow graves.

I feel like a President that tells the truth doesn't have to say "Believe me" this often.

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American / Nuremberg '28

Wow, what happened at 1:18 EST? Did somebody stupid say something stupid?

The 1 minute ATR this morning on NQ reached one hundred and fucking sixty-five. It usually tops out around 40 in my experience. FUCK THIS SHIIIIIT

Not enough overturned cop cars, not enough effigies burned.

They say it's about the journey, not the destination, but it would be nice to finally get somewhere.

Huh... Maybe we shouldn't pretend the U.S. gov't is a "move fast and break things" Silicon Valley startup with your drunk frat bros.

15 minutes after the open

Republicans literally want to starve the homeless to death so they can say they're eliminating homelessness.

If you type "breaks" when you mean "brakes" like on a car, you don't get to vote anymore.

I find the sheer number of geoengineering and chemtrail conspiracists on Lee Zeldin's Twitter posts hilarious. I hope they camp outside his office and force him to listen to their insane ramblings.

I encourage all Trump voters to get measles to own the libs.

I checked in on my Mastodon account after like a year and that place is DEAD. At least the people I was following. Even Counter Social has more going on.