wtf did noah kahan put in "staying still"? ISTG IT'S THE RED SAUCE THAT MAKES ME GO CRAZY HURT MYSELF AND OTHERS

followed back a rp account over twt and my first thought upon clicking that follow back button was: "am i a pervert?"

they're so fun to me #TheAcolyte

guys, you find me in a very ryan gosling time of my life over twt but i still love the acolyte i swearrr 😭😭

staying away from twt has been great for my mental health HOWEVER, i do feel like like ignoring as many horrors as i can makes me one of those people who are happier by choosing ignorance

it's them

reading a het romance with some girls and we've all just fawning over the female lead

happy valentine's

my shaylas #renewtheacolyte

☝️

can they renew already ??? #RenewTheAcolyte

hadn't thought about my ex for a long time and my brain was like "ha, you're gonna dream about him in a very good, positive way tonight. goodluck with your feelings tomorrow 🫶"

ive had alnst "blink gone" stuck in my head FOR WEEKS

man who ruined my early 20's: "i would love to see you again"

i was walking and a girl just meowed at me i—??????

alien stage got hands

back at it again

i may be shadowbanned on twt 🥴

like what's the point of posting cute selfies if my crush deactivated her ig acc and won't see them 💔

☝️

shut his ass 🙂‍↕️

had to work with children today and i hope the teachers get paid handsomely bc they're angels and these children are demons fr

👀

a lady today asked me if i was single bc she wanted to introduce me to her nephew and i was like haha but ma'am, i like girls 😭😭

My catchphrase for this year is “My tits are too big and my opinions are too correct to have to be dealing with this bullshit.”

so true queen

blueskiers saw it first

did some pr for a politician last year while knowing i would be paid months later and gods, just got the bank notification of said payment and politics money is the real deal

got one!!

working on a weekend? wack. working on heritage weekend? absolutely fantastic. I've ridden the train in this museum like thrice, I've gotten many souvenirs and good coffee and fantastic contacts and stickers i love ittttt

was added to the office group chat. they're organizing a late mother's day breakfast. all mothers and me. I LOVE WOMEN

we have two dobermans who have never bitten anyone, stay in the house and the neighbors here are like "uhh violent dogs" but when their small dogs tear your clothes when you're walking on the ROAD it's just "they were just playing" istg small dogs owners are THE WORST

i love older women even more bc we we're getting a coffee today and i wasn't going to go bc i'm kinda new here and they just went "what are you doing, you're part of the group too, let's go"

i was talking to my bff about my particularly bad period and she went "I had bad periods too but they stopped once i gave birth to [redacted]" GIRL I'M NOT HAVING A CHILD I WOULD RATHER BLEED AND THROW UP FROM THE PAIN

i love older women bc i was at work and they brought hairstylists to celebrate mother's day and it was something just for moms but they started asking me about my non existent child in front of them just so i could get a free blowout. bless them

met a dude so my type i got a little angry. wdym you broke your ankle playing pokemon go. what a loser. give me your ig acc.

of course my ex with a j dms me on the worst possible day. you just made my day worse dude

easter with my family is my parents going "children, the easter bunny left you something outside. we wonder what it is?" and i think it's beautiful bc we're way over 20 already

girl, behind you

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i'm not meant for situationships

:(

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here to tell everyone to please watch "exhuma" so so so so good. i love horror movies and i love it even more when they're good. when i tell you kim go eun was fantastic ughhhh i haven't stopped thinking about it aaaaarrrggh so so good

:(

i have to be at the office tomorrow. at 8:30. i just came home this evening after a week at the lake. devastated is an understatement.

*barely contained lust* what a loser

another day of turning everything into oshamir

no, I'm not free this valentine's day 🙂‍↕️

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