FUCK

This year, I promise to make strides to bring a more authentic me. I’m going to be unabashed about my identity, I’m going to become the vision of myself that I want to be. I’m not going to be afraid to tackle those that oppose me. It’s going to be hard, but I swear, it will happen.

Hey Bluesky! I still live! Sure, there’s a whole lot of things wrong with my brain, but at least I cook a mean Christmas Dinner! Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy New Year etc. to all you fuzzballs. Love y’all, even if I don’t interact with y’all as much as I want to.

Hey, I’m alive. That’s pretty neat. Been meaning to stop being so reclusive, and well, I guess this is a start.

Hey artist friends. Is anyone out there really good at making anime human art? I have a real life character that I need some help conceptualizing into an anime style, which would turn into a 3D model later on for a project. Please share around if not. It would help me greatly.

I’ve been struggling y’all. I want to engage with y’all so damn much, but my mind has just been in a weird place for quite some time now. I miss y’all a lot.

Even when trying to eat healthy, there’s a place for guilty pleasures… My usual walking route took me through a StEAT Festival, and they served takoyaki, one of my absolute favourite foods, so I had to get them. Wish I took more pics, but I simply devoured them!

For the first time in my adult life, I have now gone a full month without drinking alcohol. From July 10 - August 10 I have been 100% sober. That in combination with being active, and eating healthy, has lead to me going from 192lbs, down to 169lbs. It feels fantastic to make noticeable progress.

Nothing reassures you that your health kick is going right than a barrage of “you’ve slimmed down a bit!” comments by everyone ya haven’t seen in a few weeks.

Just as I’m trying to be active, healthy and better my diet, my mom gives me a bag of these evil (irresistible) things.

One of the most frustrating things about growing up in more masculine spaces… Why the hell did no one teach me about skin and hair care? (Other than cut it short, I guess) These things were always built up to be big time sinks, and to be prohibitively difficult, sometimes even called BS…

I was going to complain about the heat, but then I realized that I’m currently drinking hot coffee and also too lazy to set up the AC… so in a way I’m kinda just doing this to myself.

My beer is being very rude to me.

Just a small gender update… I’ve realized that despite a heavy dislike of being called he/him or even she/her… I really have no aversion to being called it/its, alongside they/them. Feel free to refer to me by they/it from now on.

Was just myself and my dad this Father’s Day. He likes a simple steak and fires dinner, and I was happy to make it. I couldn’t have asked for a more awesome dad. I know he may not fully understand me, but he’s supportive beyond belief. Happy Father’s Day y’all.

Getting a Mani-Pedi is just an awesome experience.

Bah. Had my HRT follow up appointment yesterday. Unfortunately I still have some progress to make before I can safely go on HRT. That’s alright. Not treating this as a setback, but rather motivation to further make healthy lifestyle changes. Striving to get there for my next appointment.

Sometimes you have to make use of leftovers… sometimes you end up with creations like pepperoni fried rice.

Well, despite my horrible phobia of needles, I managed to get the bloodwork that I need before getting on HRT… that’s a massive hurdle for me, and I’m happy to have done it fittingly on the first day of Pride month. Happy Pride Y’all!

I’ve become kind of the default tech support person at work, despite not being all that great with tech. Today a doctor at the clinic I work at told me to take a look at his printer, as it wasn’t working. The problem was that there was no paper loaded into it.

Hehe, the sky got all gay.

I do love me a good challenging ingredient… It may have bitter in its name, but make no mistake…. That won’t prepare you for just how bitter this satanic cucumber is. Made a bitter melon and tofu curry, which was good, but need to work on prepping the bitter melon so it doesn’t become overbearing.

Possibly the best raffle prize I’ve ever seen.

Shits falling off my car yo…. Car started making some noise about a minute away from my parents house… pulled into the driveway and this fell off into the driveway. Apparently it’s still fine to drive, but always a little alarming when parts are literally falling off.

I love him.

As a few of you know, I recently left my construction job of over a decade for an office job that better suits me. Funnily enough, whenever something breaks or gets damaged in the office, they just ask me to fix it. Guess I can’t fully escape my past, but hey at least everyone here appreciates it.

Something I forgot to share here from a while back… This is onions, garlic, chillies and fennel. I got lazy and just tossed them in a food processor to chop them. For some reason, they turned green while cooking. Still tasted great though. Probably related to the blue garlic effect I guess?

Wooo! Second gender clinic appointment went mostly well! Still need to clean up some of my habits, but making great progress… and should have a prescription in early June!

I think I may be exceedingly easy to market to. I didn’t even read anything on the can… I saw it, went “oooh, ducky” and just bought it based on that.

I struggle with this hard. I didn’t start being myself until my late 20s, and have gone through a career and goal shift in my 30s. It does feel rough, I’m definitely not peaking, rather rebuilding. But I’ll get there. 30s ain’t old, even if the nastier parts of my brain want to tell myself that.

Lol. The soap I use on my face has patch notes.

Trans artist friend of mine has just been disowned by his family, please any signal boosting would be hugely appreciated, he's not hugely on line but I've been keeping up while this happens. Please share the link and if you can support a GOOD, CLOSE friend of mine. gofund.me/4f7e1a6d

Ever embody sona stereotypes without even thinking about it? This is the bread I like… they ask if I want more or less seeds and I always ask for the most. This is essentially as much bird seed as you can pack into a loaf of bread and still have it resemble bread.

Sometimes you learn some pretty cool facts on Wikipedia.

I am currently going through what I imagine to be the most agonizing experience possible: …helping my tech illiterate parents file their taxes online.

Haven’t posted food in a while. Made a delicious salami pizza last night.

You come across some cool stuff when you just walk around aimlessly.

Hey, why not... [Can't even draw straight lines].

I fucking love my hair. Holy shit. Feeling good this Easter! Cooking a big meal tomorrow for the family. Had my gender clinic intake appointment and it went great… follow up (and hopeful HRT prescription) happening at the end of April. Happy Easter y’all!

I have a history of carpel tunnel, and have never found the stretches you find online to help… Until I find a Russian furry one called “Gymnastics for paws: Prevention of tunnel syndrome” and it works wayyy better than anything else I’ve found. Why are y’all so good at everything.

…after approximately a year of waiting, I have an appointment at the local gender clinic at the end of March. First steps and all, but super excited.

Announcing my ✨PSX VTUBER MODEL✨! This is the first VRM I have fully made/rigged/animated from the ground up and I hope you all love it! The whole thing comes in right at 1K faces! I've been learning new things in blender EVERY DAY to gain enough confidence to make this! youtu.be/85Kxr-gSvgo

Hehe, was going to open this post with a “sorry for being absent” but realize that’s basically all I’ve been saying lately. Basically have been doing a lot of self reflecting on some of my issues, and feel like I’ve pinned them down, and feel like it would be helpful to explain them.

Woo! Go out of my way to catch up at work over the weekend so I’m not so swamped this week, and can be more social and such… Then get really sick on Monday. Annoying.

Sorry for being quiet lately. Work keeping me extremely busy, and just have some other things going on that are making me struggle to be social. I’m doing ok and should be back to feeling like myself soon enough.

It’s Friday. You know what I cook, and you know the toppings. Best one yet. 🥦🍄all the way. Bonus dad pizza. 🥓 🍄.

Hey y’all, probably no stream today unfortunately. Mind is just fried… work is swamped, and I’m sleeping horribly as of late. Just feel so off, and don’t really think I’m in the best state to be broadcasting in front of y’all. I’m doing ok, just adjusting to a new schedule is pretty hard.

Lets change things up a bit, and play a furry dungeon game... yup, you heard that right... Dungeons of Aether starts today! Come say hi to the 🦜! www.twitch.tv/posternutbag1

Hey y’all! Likely no stream today. Other clerk at the new place isn’t really able to work, and I’ve got a very large backlog to deal with because of it. We’ll be back to regularly scheduled streams tomorrow!