Word Layman
@wordlayman.bsky.social
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All about puns, word play, and dad jokes. Expect far-fetched jokes that may or may not be funny.
Some people claim microwaves are harmful, so I tried macrowaving my soup. It sloshed everywhere.
28 days ago
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Have you heard about the insect that sells t-shirts at every concert? It is a travelling merch ant.
2 months ago
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Enjoying some nice Oolong tea right now. You gotta be careful to only steep it for a minute or less. Any longer, and it is Toolong.
2 months ago
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The baking aisle is too complicated for me. There is 'all-purpose/'plain', 'high gluten'/'strong', 'wholemeal' and the naming is so confusing. It would be much more straightforward without the floury language. Fun-fact: I found out that flour naming conventions differ by country A LOT:
w.wiki/FQFs
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Wheat flour - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheat_flour#Type_numbers
3 months ago
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Cuneiform is an ancient writing system using wedge-shaped impressions, like these: π π π ππ ππ ππ ππ πππ That makes those who study it cuneilinguists.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuneiform
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Cuneiform - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuneiform
3 months ago
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Shout out to baked potatoes with rosemary. I think they're a thyme-less classic.
4 months ago
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The bee says it likes all its relatives equally, but the bee's favourite is its sister's daughter. That girl is the bee's niece.
6 months ago
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Today I was called a cutie, but it is all an act; a mere character I am playing out of boredom. I am a char cutie, bored. Sorry for the ham-fisted pun, I know it is cheesy. I should stop before the puns turn sour, dough.
7 months ago
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Attention chess beginners, be careful with those tower-looking pieces. Try to avoid making rook-ie mistakes.
7 months ago
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If you make friends at Alcoholics Anonymous, are they your rehabibis?
7 months ago
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Arnold said "I'll be back", but do an apprenticeship at a German bakery and you'll be BΓ€cker.
8 months ago
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If I need a gasket for a French water pipe, do I ask the shop for an eaux-ring?
8 months ago
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Did you see the musical based on 'Mars Attacks!' (1996)? It's a bit weird at first, but grows on you. It's an ack-choired taste.
8 months ago
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I heard that in some monarchies, the throne always went to the most mature and careful child. It was called 'heiring on the side of caution'.
8 months ago
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Be careful with police in hospitals, they might put you under cardiac arrest. And then you might go to cardiac prison, and maybe find love, but we will all know how it ends. There are lots of broken hearts in cardiac prison.
8 months ago
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I received strongly mixed feedback on my new sunglasses. They are polarizing glasses.
8 months ago
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The most disgusting ingredient in my kitchen must be starch. It is truly thickening.
8 months ago
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No weekend is complete without some nice scrambled eggs with cheese. It is vegan cheese though, so I believe I may only call it an Omelette du Homage.
8 months ago
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Today's cooking was a big W That is to say, it got a double eww.
9 months ago
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Did you know there was a famously depressing bard group with the hit songs 'Landing in Llundain' and 'Kryptonite'? They were called Tudor's Down.
9 months ago
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When introducing myself I always mention my metal stamp collection. It makes a good impression.
9 months ago
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If I sold prostheteses for docked boxers, would I be a retailer?
9 months ago
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Are prisons on Creta made of con-cretes?
9 months ago
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I thought choosing new feathers for my pillow would cheer me up, but it just has me feeling down.
9 months ago
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In an ironic twist of gardening nomenclature, a Ha-Ha requires a depression.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha-ha
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Ha-ha - Wikipedia
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha-ha
9 months ago
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A satisfying realization I had just now: If you take the opposite of every word in the phrase 'up to no good' you get 'down for everything bad' which basically describes the same thing.
9 months ago
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"Kannst du die Kabeltrommel wieder aufwickeln wenn du fertig bist?" "Leider nein, ich bin ein reiner Entwickler."
9 months ago
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If this account was a wall socket, I would want it to be the Shakespeare of wall sockets. It is supposed to be a creative outlet.
9 months ago
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The Star Wars movies are like an onion - they have Leias.
9 months ago
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I used to have a favourite tailor, but they cut ties so I no longer go there.
9 months ago
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I just learned that the fear of balls is called sfairesphobia. I do not get scared easily, but that one I wholeheartedly understand. After all, there is nothing to fear but sphere itself.
9 months ago
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I meant to start this account with an icebreaker, but I think most people just aren't that much into arctic shipping.
9 months ago
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