damn i tried out and refunded a couple of games in the steam sale to try out more games and now i want the refunded games back but now they're at a higher price D: yeah maybe i shouldn't abuse the refund system LOL makes me more indecisive

SEE SHE PROTECCS AND I PROTECC HER TOO

no but the best part actually is i don't even really need to verbally communicate with her about something bothering me she just knows when i have a depressive episode and so she tries being more lively when i do man 🥺

i noticed when i go out to the living room my dog always stays at my side and lie with her back facing away like protect mode compared to my other family members i guess she can smell my brain chemicals LOL or something else is wrong with me 😭 either way that is so amazing i love her so much

came across some service dog vids and man i love dogs these creatures at amazing at what they are and what they can do if trained my dog isn't trained but she always did seem try comforting me when I used to have nervous breakdowns especially last year

Dude lowkey everyone in ig reels comments is a fuckin dickhead but unlike tiktok it’s less ragebait and I actually kinda this mean it in a way where it’s more on everyone is just memeing everything and not being serious at all 😭 its lowkey funny to me instead

fk i couldn't sleep i've been awake since 6 pm yesterday my brain is fried but at least maybe tomorrow i'll fix my sleep sched

Is it normal to be super relaxed to the point where you feel your heart beating but because of the movement suddenly it makes you feel like an earthquake is happening 💀

imma be honest i kinda wanna take a break from commissions again to make new music i miss making music i miss singing lol

My dad sounds so hostile all the time LMAO as his son i know he’s not being hostile but strangers are gonna misinterpret that bro 😭 Like he’s not trying to antagonize most of the tine bro just sounds like it LOLL

Ive been getting sicker bros Might explain why im a little bit more aggravated this week loo including the spooky anxiety earthquake shit apologiee If i cant workout i get mega pissed lol jk its ight

Whats worse is Its my fellow filipinos making fun of my region getting a fucking 7.6 magnitude earthquake earlier. Is it okay for me to laugh if your regions get fucked up with disaster too? Fuck all of these people. God it pisses me off lol

Today made me want to delete tiktok so bad dude Its weird when local tiktok today was WAY more toxic than twitter LOL Fuck it im deleting lol moving to ig reels or yt…thats what my friends use anyway Why tf do i still use tiktok

Really gotta distinguish what matters

maybe its right to expect the worst in everything so you can handle it better

sometimes we take things for granted man and bam an existential threat comes and makes you realize the shit that actually matters again like i dont give a shit about stupid twitter drama, if the earthquake was just a bit stronger today i probably wouldn't have had a house anymore or worse

big earthquake earlier i wanna say okay back to work but ngl im a little bit shooketh rn LOL gotta go back to work

Had a dream within a dream type thing and one of the persons in the outer dream told me to pinch myself to see if im still dreaming Somehow still felt a little bit of pain in the dream idk how and so i just went ”yeah i honestly still can’t tell” Welp Im cooked HAHA guess i could die in my sleep

nah how come civ 5 has steam cloud saves but civ 6 doesn't civ 6 2k cloud saves somehow glitch out the game and freezes when i play on steam deck

when the paranoia of losing your games on steam because of DRM is real you start making a list of games in GOG you'd get again incase HAHHAHAH

everything on that page was actually so bad i have never seen a single page of a youtube video be THAT bad

god i watched a video on yt and everything from the video to the comments was horrible i had to block the whole channel from my reccs LMAO it wasn't more on the actual content...I was willing to hear out the points

One really good example rn is in really into the No I’m not a human lore and secrets I love lovecraftian cosmic horror type stuff dude

Thinking about it it’s also weird because i do still like consuming darker, depressing, grim forms of media (silent hill,berserk, horror, metal) but it’s different now because it doesn’t put me in a similar dark headspace like before. I just find it interesting and fascinating and fun now LOL

you know what im older gen z but im already slowly starting to just close off my brain from today's internet slang wtf are these new terms there seems to be a new one every goddamn month LOL

again exercising consistently is weird because my body is still in pain but i feel like if i had the same amount of pain when I was sedentary I would have been hella miserable LOL like somehow i can handle body pains now way better just another perk of being more active

Kinda crazy how i shaped some of my friends’ music taste a little bit and vice versa But i seem them listening and it’s like oh shit i introduced that I used to be a music guy tbh but now i just listen to the same shit on repeat HAHAHA

sometimes i forget im older than alot of kpop idols and i tend feel like some kind of younger sibling or something HAHAH idk why i feel like that's weird maybe its like the difference in social and professional status LOL

Wonder if there’s a guts mod that would be sick af haha

Kinda interested in the first berserker khazan cuz it looks like what i imagine a new actual berserk game should look like and maybe play? Dunno if worth it tho and im kinda sad the autumn sale finished a few hours ago lmaao

My allergies are weird man when it hits it’s like random? It doesn’t happen as often anymore so i have no idea what in my room caused it this time cuz im always in my room and i dont get hit with it everyday LOL

damn i feel like i found some bangers this steam sale bangers that I didn't expect to be bangers LOL

man im sad so i do daily walks or jog outside this mall every other day and it's closing this year this mall has been here even before i was born and so I guess i have a weird material attachment to it one last run in this mall at the end of this year and i'd need to find another place

man i have spending and memory problems ngl i was finding games that's like bloodborne and I saw this game called the last faith so i was like EYYY this game looks cool how much is it rn on sale i...i already have the game what the fu when did i get this 💀 no wonder im fking broke rn

idk if this is real but my dumb ass thought this was going to be a REALLY long bridge

Yeah nah honestly i feel like 2020-2024 kryko would be handling things WAY differently rn So different

Apologies lool feeling a bit extra introspective again after all the things that happened today Very good things!

Idk. I know im still a depressed person overall but somehow ive got a sliver of optimism in me now

I want to hangout with my people more dude Making memories with people make me happiest Reminds me why i keep on going, to enjoy life

Decisions decisions bros

damn idk if i should push through or not its scary i don't wanna experience the bad things all over again im done with feeling bad i just wanna better my life

Finished cdawg’s latest cycleathon video I wish i could do something as great as that someday That last part was pretty damn emotional lol

Nah legit lowkey wanna try out crochet in the hopes that it will stop gunpla addiction HAHAAH but i don’t even know if crochet is a cheaper hobby 😭

Im such a fokin doomer man LOL pessimistic thoughts 😅

There’s no going back

imma be honest i lowkey hate when the word slop is used for indie games it makes me sad like I feel like most indie game devs actually make games with passion hell even in triple a games there are still people who are passionate about what they're making

Wait i just realized So im deadlifting using 2 12 kg dumbbells I thought it meant i was deadlifting 12 kg but does it actually mean ive been deadlifting 24? Oh shit nice actually what LOL

SO MANY GAMES SO LITTLE MONEY

man I want kingdom come deliverance 2 and silksong but i have yet to finish the first games in these series LOL i feel like I have to do that first before deciding to buy cuz I might not even touch them if im anxious about playing the previous games LOOL

i am gonna try posting less about the depression stuff tho and just more appreciation to the things i like lol