Feels weird watching an Indiana basketball team with an offense

Remember when you could watch a baseball game without having to think “i I hope the pitcher isn’t secretly profiting off this 2-1 fastball.” Thank you Rob Manfred sir.

Imagine how much better they could be doing if they had Brad instead

Five Minutes for Scroggins is Guided By Voices’ 19th album

Indiana with 2 iconic plays against Penn State

The intro to “Heaven on Their Minds” goes especially hard

NEVER DAUNTED

We did it, Joe

6 justices: hunger builds character 3 dissenting justices: people need to eat food to live

My wife gets a phone call from her dad, and it freaks her out. Turns out his printer died.

Oh no

The most Jed era move of all time: sure we’re letting Kyle Tucker go, but wait until you see the amazing 18 year old that will flame out in AA!

The Line sounds like the setting of a bad YA novel: “No one remembers when The Line was built. But 15 year old Kira showly discovers it wasn’t built to keep things out; it was built to keep something in.”

It’s only the first game, can’t get too excited. It’s Alabama A&M. It’s a long season. But remember when Archie lost his first game by like 20 to Indiana State? Oh they were 41% from 3 yesterday? Tucker DeVries had a double double? Sam Alexis scored 17 off the bench? WE ARE SO BACK LETS GO

Ross Douthat:

*Horatio Caine looks at the remains of the sub on the ground* This crime looks… *takes off sunglasses* …deli-berate YYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH

John Rocker says New York is going downhill like his fastball did in 2001

Using the precedent set forth in Tariffs vs John Roberts’s Stock Portfolio

“It’s not weird,” says Tom Brady as he bottle-feeds his clone dog electrolytes and whispers the TB12 method into its ear

I used to talk myself into Matt LoVeccio at QB. Now I demand 50 points a game. Go Hoosier

lol, I watched and it was a bunch of people quietly listening to “Stand By Me”

Time to channel your inner Gregory VII

Tom Ricketts is crying again. Huge sobs echo through the empty stands of Wrigley. “They want market rate,” he chokes out between tears

If Happ is such a good outfielder, why is he playing left field?

DOINK

lol bears I feel nothing

STOP THE COUNT

Can’t wait for Jed Hoyer to argue with a straight face that Owen Caissie can replace Tucker

Guy Who Doesn’t Actually Do Anything Other Than Abuse Children Stripped Of Title “Most Serene Captain Of The Order Of Floopty-Do Regiment”

People getting mad at the dodgers for paying good players to play for them when we know that LA should put too much pressure on a 22 year old AA prospect who bats .211 when they finally make the bigs, only to flame out in 2 years, just as god intended

Dodgers winning with the bold strategy of “let’s get all the best players on our team”

We’re living in the Willennium

Baseball

What the fuck even is this game

Rojas man

Jesus Christ, I don’t even like this teams

That’s right

Just like we all predicted would happen

Oh shit

Man, it’s fun just to feel something that’s not overwhelming dread

I feel bad for LA and Toronto fans, but this is tremendous content

Trey Yehungthatbreakingball

Vladdy Jr is a Cool Baseball Guy

Me watching this game

The Stranger Things kids now trapped in an alternate dimension with 27.99% APR

Gatsby. The Great Gats-bee. Great guy. He sees a light, many people say. A green light. And I’ll tell you, it’s a very important light. Very bright. Very strong. I have better lights, by the way, much better, made in America.