(Ravens by Masahisa Fukase)

tw: blood, miscarriage mentioned (inspired by Yoko Onibe’s story)

Can I exist? authentically, audaciously, automatically. not Skinner’s rat, not Pavlov’s dog, not Harlow’s monkey. Perhaps Schrödinger’s cat, neither alive nor dead. don’t break the box, not even in emergency. I’m a mirage, liminal, nonexistent. #poetry

sorry i know i’ve always been too quick with my words always cutting when it hurts i’m sorry i’m still learning still trying

consolation prize, participation trophy, not the goal. but good enough. not the sun. nor the moon. just— 𝘢 𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘬. something you took home, as a souvenir. all while still yearning for the warmth of the luminary. #poetry

too far too much too close don’t perceive i adjust the rulers according to the decrees posted daily silence means retreat affirmations as beckoning i won’t leave— the counterforce is missing to propel me away. so i orbit you, the lonely planet, was it by accident, or fate? #poetry

do you want to tangle our hair? tie a knot, laced longings. gifted with those onyx hues, painted ladies, victorian dresses, shared walls, infested yearnings. melodies paper-thin, whispering not-quite secrets, behind fans— olfactory, auditory, provocatory. #poetry

thank you for those who filled this leaky heart of mine with love, with praise, with starlight. seen and adored, felt and held, closed my eyes to see cloudless skies, serenity ahead, gentle waves. i cherish the serendipity of meeting my star, my light, my guide. #poetry

little black clouds, they drift in and out overhead. i always carry an umbrella, in case of the downpour, ‘cuz it rains when you’ve got a leaky roof, mine has a gaping hole. (1/2)

overdraft net negative flashing red withdraw feels more appealing than reaching, pouring, caring. mirages, fleeting dreams— cracked, broken. time for self-preservation. #poetry

tomato variants: Sungold, Cherokee Purple, Early Girl. Then the naming gets creative— Bloody Butcher, Queen of Hearts, Arkansas Traveler. Mortgage Lifters? not in this economy. #poetry

you belong with warm sun, joyous clouds, floating, without landing. existing where dreams begin and hope is indestructible. #poetry

it is best not to believe in fables, fairy tales, myths— for they hide the nightmares, betrayals, red herrings, where love fades, mundane festers, cows were traded for non-magic beans. #poetry

strawberry moon, sweet wish, written over lines, practiced songs, firefly dreams. maybe happy endings— hope you’ll like it, not disappointed, across the parallel universe. #poetry

I committed to daily offerings, cuts, seven hundred so far. untamed thoughts as inkwells, unrefined. words with no margins seeped into coarse fibers— callow, unkempt, derailed lines. #poetry

I imagine sunny skies, tree-lined streets, old buildings with history. every song, a hidden message sent by undercurrents. maybe they’d reached you soft wind, gentle reminders, I miss you. #poetry

these floaters I’ve erased for so long respawning against the blue sky and merciless sun never gone like intrusive thoughts on the happiest days #poetry

Nobody wants to love a poet who flails at the line, the incomplete rhythms, the metaphor too obscure, off the beaten path. fragmented pacing, immature with style, meters not fully formed, rhymes off kilter. without the aesthetic profile pics. loyal cult followings. best sellers. (1/2)

first day of spring letting a peony trespass my heart #haiku

these hands weren’t meant for creation but quick destructions of ego deaths rapturing souls can’t hold things with sharp claws jagged edges disruptions don’t bleed blame them on me #poetry

these lines, memories of my former self, carved into each piece. shadows, hardly recognizable, where words flow freely, thoughts fully formed, before they were birthed. now, each key tapped, comes with shackles, erasures. ever watchful eyes. #poetry

wish I’d stop hitting the backspace bar on each letter those truths now concealed hidden packaged maybe you’ve changed me a ghost distilled my pen each syllable constrained too afraid of honesty being less like me becoming more like you less curiosity more broken glasses pain and punishment

colored candies, cream-filled, chocolate center. clustered with jagged edges— confectionery. artisanal, wrapped in refined boxes. taste. consume. cream of the crop— leave the oddity. lonely morsels, never picked first. same box, variable fate. #poetry

those constellations were misplaced— not in cherished palms but lost, not held, nor cared for. warped signals, ghostly whistles, lonely vibrations— a black hole: beautifully captivating, deathly hollow. #poetry

take me out with yesterdays debris swept up leaves stacked compressed do not recycle refuse only #poetry

I painted silhouettes, destiny unknown, morphed each stage with a change of direction. Blended, blurred the lines until only scenery remained— trees, mountains, the sky. Lines unwritten on why they went missing. #poetry

would you be happier if I was kept inside— never too far, close enough, not out of line? quell those fires, listen for once instead of leaving. never quit. always stay. would you like that? #poetry

sorry. i flew too close to the sun, stripped my wings, ground me. i never knew better. shouldn’t have been defiant. please help. #poetry

forgive and forget, erase all the evidence. wouldn’t undo the mistakes, unspoken words. do you even want to right the wrongs? you expected me to read between the lines, decode the secrets, solve the problem. we ended up here because choices were made. #poetry

can I sit here? in the darkness, where hope is lost. we can stay silent, or curse the world. it’s alright— lean on me, take my hand.