Okay but you know that sketch Wemby was doing was trash. Those freak ass fingers don’t know how to navigate a pencil.

Laughed so hard I almost crashed my car when I saw this

Perhaps my last interaction with students as a teacher is playing smash with a group of dorks after school 🥹

Raising babies in these unprecedented times requires you as a parent to embrace tradition in ways you didn’t anticipate. That’s why we made sure our baby’s first word was WAZZZZUPPPPPPPPPP 🤪

Bailey at bats are like 90% dreadful but man he knows how to admire a big fly

Feels like we spend a LOT of time teaching kids about farm animals

No individual space makes me feel older or dumber than a Boba shop

Damn gentrification really is getting out of hand West Oakland has pirates now??

Damn gentrification really is getting out of hand West Oakland has turkeys now??

Gubernatorial is right these dudes are GOOBS

If and ONLY if AI can teach me how to play Better off Alone on my son’s 8 note baby Einstein keyboard will I consider it something other than a complete and total failure

Got my Door Dash Wrapped and it just said I’m a nasty little hog 😔

Steph making the same face my baby makes when I do a raspberry on his tummy

Teehee I paid an Etsy witch to curse the opposing team! The witch cursing the 49ers:

No kings includes short kings 😔

Between this man and Wembanyama the French have not been this out of hand since Napoleon. Dangerous territory imho

Anyone with a contact to the federal immigration agents coming to the bay please put me in touch. I have credible information as to the location of bofa

Teared up a little this morning while reading the description for a children’s book being a parent is so dumb

Rich dickheads stop moving to cities that you don’t like challenge level impossible

Hope we get to see Kershaw cough it up at least one more time in the post season 🥺

All this for a podcaster

📢 Love, Ghostie is coming to NINTENDO SWITCH on OCT 1!! 📢 Be a ghost matchmaker and explore 60+ combinations of couples! 👻💘 I did the port myself, so sorry it took so long and thanks for your patience! Greatly appreciate any shares/help spreading the word!!

Seems important to mention now as a blue voter in California that Gavin Newsom eats major bung. Please don’t get fooled by this Napa Valley doofus.

If you’re the ones that just set off the firework that woke up my baby, come to my house rn so I can call you a loser ass dork to your face

Needed this reminder today.

It’s humiliating to say “yeah let me get the corn” at Chipotle and I can’t explain why.

Took my son with me to the 7/11 to cash in some scratchers because it’s important to share culture with new generations, even when that culture is just “white trash”.

Despite being 5'7" most of my adult life, during a medical exam today I was told I am 5'9". Finally hitting that age 36 growth spurt.

Been trying to write (and share that writing) more. Here are some things I have been working on. #writersky jmcgrizz.substack.com

It’s called Dave’s Killer Bread because it tastes so bad that you die

Men should be forced to watch women’s sports but it should be criminalized for them to comment on them in public

Who does Pat Spencer think he is

It’s teacher appreciation week!

Pat Spencer the enforcer

Tough thing about being active as a big dude is people look at you and just KNOW you have shin splints

Draymond really is one of one

So much dental work my mouth is like the Ship of Theseus

The Art of the Deal™️ (Do a takesies backsies)

Lol “Provocative” nyt get bent. Very provocative to pay more for worse avocados

Beloved athlete served his country because of woke

Same energy as my students that swear by Chat GPT and then get C’s on those papers

Seems insane the the government abducted a legal citizen because they don’t agree with their views and it’s not the headline for every major media publication in the world

governors should not have time to podcast

The heir apparent of the Democratic Party started a podcast (🤢), hosted a white nationalist, and proceeded to spew anti-trans rhetoric, in case you were wondering what it looks like to be a big ass loser baby

starting the DOE’s “final mission” to remove federal oversight from schools the same day you say protests on school campuses are punishable federally hell yeah dude we can just say and do whatever everything is meaningless

hardly our most pressing issue right now but if you go to a concert simply shut the fuck up while the music is being played

People that are like “my infant woke me up in the middle of the night but I still love him more than ever ❤️❤️” are such liars. Would love nothing more than to headbutt this little two week old into dust for waking me up at 4:30 on MY birthday.

The love I have for my new born is matched only by the hate I have for anyone making “Line Dry Only” baby stuff.

🐍🐍🐍My son was born on Lunar New Year🐍🐍🐍

[Nathan Fielder Voice]