My job is INSANE bc what do you mean one of my subs heard my music during stream and said “hey that’s my friends band” and then TEXTED THE BASS PLAYER OF STATE CHAMPS and told him. Like what do you fucking MEANNN

And Glenn close as the woman who means well but does wrong

My anxiety tonight is wildin

Brains are so funny bc I had an amazing night, made hella money, had a great bowl of rice, settled in with some rain sounds and my cat son and now my brain is telling me the house is going to burn down with me in it while I’m sleeping (:

Just watched koty type “what Pokémon would my wife be?” Into google

Sometimes I miss the bakery but then I make my weeks wage in 3 hours and I realize fuck that

I have a twitch account under my corn name specifically because I missed goofing and gaffing online BUT I want to maintain brand visibility across platforms (and maybe funnel some people over idk) It’s just nice being back on the purple site sometimes 🥺😭

Knowing I have to stream later and be a sex symbol with the worst cramps I’ve ever had in my life and bleeding profusely makes me want to rip a phone book in half

It’s been a good couple years for monster fuckers when it comes to movies

Me, who’s never seen a single episode of hazbin hotel: YOU’RE LIVING FOR THE RUSH, FOR THAT ROYAL FLUSH, BUT YOU TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET. YOU PLAY YOUR FINAL ACE, FOR A PRETTY FACE, TASTES LIKE SCOTCH AND CIGARETTES

If only 20 year old Jess knew I’d be 30 and rocking the same look

I’m hearing terms like “Frankenstein fall”, “nosferatu winter”, and “Dracula winter” be thrown around and to me that just means dead eyes and a vampy lip which mean so much to me

My best friends mom is just like mine was. She’s still alive and my best friends torment is constant. My heart breaks for her the same way it broke for me. Hey google how do I support her while being retraumatized? Hey google how do I help her when I couldn’t help myself?

“I’ve loved the sick since I knew how to breathe”

Sometimes I think about my life before adulthood and wonder how I’m still even here. Glad I am, but damn.

I AM OBSCENE TO YOU, BUT TO MYSELF I SIMPLY AM!!!! YOU WILL NOT AWARD ME LOVE, SO I WILL INDULGE IN RAGE!!!! I CANNOT DIE, AND I CANNOT LIVE ALONE!!!!! You’re not understanding. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HE JUST WANTED KINDNESS AND LOVE.

Hi chat I just woke up and I’m thinking about when the creature in Frankenstein said “you only listen when I hurt you” and koty and I had a telepathic bond and I felt my soul outside my body

2 things I can’t stop saying as of late: 1. Fuck my chungus life 2. I’m half gay on my dads side

Btw if anyone is wondering why I’m not jessmkell I got scared my paying customers would find my account and I just wanna talk about fuck shit and husband post 🤷‍♀️

In what chapter of Frankenstein does mrs. Shelley talk about the dick and cock? Asking for me

Just sent a video of me doing things that are NOT in the bible to 10,000 people casually on a Thursday night. On purpose.

Dreaming about… sleep token? Hm

Koty just called me the “50 year old autistic man that gets to drive the train” in relation to my job being porn and me having horny bitch disease

these allergies might be the worst ive ever experienced. nasal spray, reactin, and benadryl isnt helping at all 😭 i havent been able to get ANY work done its so infuriating

Acnh version 3.0 was not on my bingo sheet tbh but I’m so excited to fall back in love with the game again

I wanna marry him again 😭😭😭

I’ve been so deep in yet another sims hyperfixation that I simply can’t pull myself out of and it’s actually crazy

And to think it all started with a @travismcelroy.bsky.social raid 💜

absolutely loving that my heater in my living room doesn’t work

the crazy thing is between working and getting married this week i actually simply could not care less if i fail every single course this semester and never go back to school. so actually no i will not be writing an essay on the echoes of historic technologies in modern devices thank you so much

So I have to suffer because nobody taught a man what the difference is between a sugar snap pea and a green bean???

writing my vows and thinking about how many men have probably got chatgpt to write their WEDDING VOWS for them and now im angry

4 days 4 days 4 days!

Cool cool cool cool (we get married on Wednesday. Outside)

We get married in FIVE days

i heard the new sims expansion pack brough back imaginary friends. and to that i say you don't know evil til you look this fucking abominationin the eye

WHAT?!?!? OUTTY BELLY BUTTON AND A VERY CLEAR B O N E R???

SORRY???

Koty just explained digimon as “Pokémon with jorts”

HAHAHAH kotys ex wife found out our wedding date and then went out and got married in vans and cargo shorts to be able to say she got married before us. truly fucking incredible.

You expect me to write my vows about the person who ultimately saved my life and I love more than anything else on this planet IN MY LUTEAL PHASE?!?! I got about 2 sentences in, started sobbing uncontrollably, and ate a danish about it

I made an amount of money in September that isn’t even a real concept, and i don’t even have anything to show for it because weddings are EXPENSIVE EVEN IF YOURE ELOPING! I can’t wait to get married and I’m so excited but damn let me save a little money 😭😭😭

don't ever kill yourself, sometimes you get to write about your special interest for a term paper

With all the things my mother did and DID NOT do while she was pregnant with me, I highly doubt it was the Tylenol that caused the autism… It was the autism that caused the autism babe

Ronald McDonald clown version

*notices bulge* owo what’s this?

Me when my giant jumbo juice monster walks in the door

My big beefy boy husband is bringing his belly to me today and I’m gonna grab it and he can’t stop me AND NEITHER CAN ANY OF YOU

I love big boys with big bellies. If the belly button doesn’t stink a little bit I don’t want it 🤷‍♀️

i'm getting married in 5 weeks and i don't even have my fiance saved in my phone get on my level