I'm beginning to believe that buying into the lottery wouldn't be the biggest mistake I could make

Every time I try to be creative it feels like my brain is limiting me. WHY CAN'T I GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY!! I JUST WANT TO DO THESE THINGS THAT I LOVE AND TO ALSO SHARE THEM!! WHY DO I SABOTAGE MYSELF LIKE THIS!?!??!???

Day 2 of doing an all-nighter for my job and I feel like I've spent like half my day here. I gotta figure out how to entertain myself or I'm gonna lose my mind

This job with it stability(nukes my weekend nights) might allow me to make a stream schedule. I'm super plussed about it

Can't wait to change my life with this job that'll probably disrupt my entire schedule but I bet every dollar I got I'll love it

Reconciling whats going on in my life and trying to stream is difficult. I wish I could be over this hump quicker, so I can go back to being goofy streamer dood

Currently feeling invisible despite being surrounded by people

I occasionally think I'm the last sane person in the world. Looking at people saying some unhinged unhealthy things. Its such a weird thing to think.

Paranoia is a hell of a drug

Sometimes I wish people would interact with me when they have an issue with the circles I run in. I don't get some of the tribalism people have

>design image for a post chain >decidedly ignore all the hashtag words because it can't be that important >ten minutes later actually look at them What the heck are these words?

This is who runs this account. #Eldenwood #Vsky #Vtuber #Pngtuber

I tried to transcribe the text I written in a notebook onto a tablet so I can continue the story there. Alas my energy wants to be printed on paper

New profile header. Just in a creative mode right now

Currently writing a short story based on a thought I had. It's kinda depressing. Well, I think it's interesting. Don't have to write a best seller. Just to write something interesting

Currently on a mission to find a cheese wedge hat for a boss of mine because I like them way more than other bosses I have. Having to cross the border for this

Small town/small city pilled. If you're wanting a cheap place to live it's always a small town or little city type place. Otherwise, enjoy paying your arm and a leg in rent.

Thinking terrible things, like spending money on a thing I shouldn't just because its interesting. Also I think I need to stream more. I've been really distracted and lazy

I put away some of my distracting media and then literally two days later I dig it back up and now I gotta go through with finishing the media. My brain says I can't give up. I want to give it up because I don't want it to consume my attention. I need to play this after streams. As a treat

I think starting tomorrow I can get back to streaming oftenish. I was engaged in some nonsense and now I don't want to be anymore. It was sucking my attention too hard and now I gotta fix it.

I'm fairly certain that's not right

We past the hump and now its down from here. I'm curious whether or not I will be able to accomplish things

Realizing I can make a metroidvania with one of the RPG maker game software I got in a humble bundle I bought last year. I'm beginning to accumulate ideas that is more concrete than the game I was making last year. I think I might be able to put together a working prototype before the year end

I need to start collecting thoughts for when I make plans for game again. I think not knowing what specifically I am doing really brought me down and caused me to shelf it. Fixing that now.

Beginning to forget that I need to draw in my off time so I can keep my sharpness up. Even a doodle here or there will help. I also need to start brainstorming a plot. I really let myself slip throughout the year so far. I need to get back to my resolutions

HERE'S THE W, HELL YEAH

>stop being depressed >start having problems at work Where's the W, I can't keep taking all these L's. Someone please give me a W. I'm literally losing my mind

Drinking in a 3D stream? Sounds like a recipe for excitement

I wish I were so much more stupid. Incapable of seeing past my nose. Just a person who is blissfully unaware of what life is. A person whose whole life is nothing but bad choices and worse decisions. God why am I burdened to see the end of the line so soon. Let me keep being blind to your future

Existential dread is giving me mild panic attacks

I really wish I could shift my work schedule to follow all openings, but due to some work things that are about upend my position. I might not get that chance for a while.

I swear to god himself, if I don't do an art stream tonight. I'm gonna lose my mind. Yesterday felt like a fever dream

I dunno, every Sunday I tell myself to stream and then I somehow never have the focus for a stream. I ought to dedicate this time to clip making. I gotta clip out that part where Roark took pity on me and let me beat him

Currently trying not to enter my schizo arc

Post an image from your phone without Amy explanation

I never should have drank and slept only a couple of hours last night. It goofed me up today. Trying to be a more responsible drinker.

If you have offered me help in the past and I haven't taken you up on the offer despite looking like I need help. Don't worry, I'm okay. I just need an outlet to for my frustrations. You probably can't fix my IRL problems which typical are my stressors. Do be aware that I am thankful for you asking

I'm currently at like my millionth revision of this post. I'm drowning in a guilt that doesn't feel like I should endure. But it haunts my mind like a stench that doesn't go away. A shadow in mind that won't go away no matter what. But I can't be helped by anyone other than me. I need to get free

I'm one tragic moment from becoming a supervillain and trying to rob the world of it's joy like it robbed me of mine

I'm so close to entering my schizo arc and I don't like it. Personal life getting a bit too uppity for its own good which reduces the quality of my streams but you can't just ignore your personal life just because it decided that you gotta suffer to ground you. I mean who wants to be happy anyway

Can you be followed by people who are invisible? My follower/follows list is weird

I hate being aware and equally unaware of everything. I suffered from foot in mouth syndrome. Why can't I ignore all the little things and let all the schizo thoughts go. I just want to do things without developing reasons to feel guilty. Literally get bogged down by my own thoughts. I'm struggling

I am going draw a comic about how people drift apart gradually. It's an issue that I wish I couldn't notice, being paranoid about everyone is killing because I'm hyper aware of everything they do or don't. I stand here consume in unneeded guilt and it's killing me. I wish I were dumber and unaware

Always feel bad for not streaming on a monday and then when I did all the things I have been slacking on. I realized, I realized that I need at least monday to be a off day I'm gonna stream at least five days a week(tuesday is a gamble). I at least try to be transparent, which I think is good.

Today feels like a bad in general. Everything in it has just been trying to bring me down as hard as possible. I don't know anymore. Life just seems to suck the sourest lemons in existence

IRL rant: I feel like some service workers don't get paid enough to deal with the unhinged nonsense people come to us with. It takes a lot for me to not unload my full vocabulary upon somebody who is a rude cunt. I also won't feel bad if I get in trouble for it

Just sitting down and doing is hard, and I know I want to do this so I gotta try and buckle down but I definitely some sort of stimulant that'll activate me. Also 3D Holden eventually this month I swear it upon myself

If I had the time, I could have a master class in subconscious behavior and how you can't hide your true thoughts and feelings. Everything you do is dictated from the subconscious. The worst part even if you were to say something, they would deny it, saying it isn't true. Just say it with your chest