From a purely aesthetic design point of view, the Nissan Cube was fucking fantastic. A piece of postmodern Japanese retro-futurism. Americans thinking it was ugly just shows how poor of taste we have as a nation.

There’s no way having body guards ACTUALLY makes you safer in a world where guns exist. Like, do you REALLY think you’re paying those dudes enough to slow-mo jump in front of a bullet for you? Ain’t no way. You’ll be dead and they’ll go get a job as a bouncer somewhere

The CEOs of every major company pushing AI should be dragged into the middle of the street and beaten with bricks and rocks until their skulls cave in

I saw someone with MAJOR heat starting to come to their comedy career in LA, move to Austin so they could work at the The Mothership. And less than a year later they have been completely buried and fully stalled out. For real like, they were about to start getting deals and now they work the door

That’s right guys, criticizing Taylor Swift is basically exactly the same thing as helping plunge America face first into a fascist dictatorship. She may have posed and smiled for a picture with a guy wearing a gaint swastika on his chest, but the ACTUAL Nazis are people who don’t like her music

If given the chance, I’d love to watch an ICE agent die in real life. Like just fucking bleed out in public

Call of Duty does decent skill matchmaking the first two weeks I start getting back into multiplayer, then it’s like “i see you’re having fun and getting into a flow with our game for the first time in years… time to throw you to the sharks so you can be canon fodder for the best 14 players alive.”

Xbox might be one of the top 5 worst run companies I’ve ever seen. How do you fumble the lead you had gained with Xbox 360? HOW could you possibly fuck up a head start that massive? This year I have basically watched the brand slowly kill its self.

I love that no one seems to give a shit that Aziz Ansari is doing Riyadh Comedy Festival. I have not heard one person be like “No not Aziz too! I’m so disappointed!”

I posted this on threads and now a bunch of guys with third grade reading levels are being mean to me😪

Jimmy Carr is the biggest pussy, softball-hack I’ve ever seen pretend to be an “edgy comedian.” Dude sucks ass and always has. Top 5 worst comedians alive for several decades now. Also his dye job on his hair looks like shit. We have HD TVs now Jimmy we can see your “Just for Men jet-black” bullshit

Thanos is the stupidest looking, least intimidating villain I can possibly imagine. How the fuck did so many people get into that lore? He was crated during a heavy LSD binge in the 70s and you can tell. He looks so unbelievably fucking stupid in a live action movie it’s insane.

Roast Battle: come see all the first year open micers do their “you look like” jokes at another first year open micers they’ve never met before.

I know I’m getting old because Gabapentin just made my list of top 5 favorite drugs.

We let comedy get taken over by a bunch of cops an posers. Even if they aren’t law enforcement they are cops.

I love dead cops.

Like, you live in a city the President approves of? Fucking dork.

I’m planning to move to Portland and people are like “are you worried about Trump sending troops there?” As far as I’m concerned, I don’t want to live in a city Trump HASN’T threatened with the military force. That’s how you know that city is cool as fuck.

Nothing makes me question my life more than having to ride a city bus that goes on the highway. I’m on a city bus going 65 miles per hour? I need to examine how I got here.

I wish Charlie Kirk’s wife wasn’t a sociopath so she could actually feel all the pain she’s pretending no to feel.

Facebook is where I go to watch all the least talented comedians, actors and musicians I’ve ever met spew right wing talking points as a last ditch hail marry at becoming famous.

There’s people who really want to hate me, but unfortunately for them I make them laugh against their own better judgment, so they just silently watch all my Instagram stories like a guilty pleasure.

Just glad to be included with so many big names

If Newgrounds and Adobe Flash still existed like they did back in the day, there would be at least 5 Charlie Kirk shooting galleries on there by now

“Oh so I just have to psychologically manipulate the dumbest, most gullible idiot we’ve ever targeted? Thanks for giving me an easy assignment for once!” - The CIA agent assigned to turning Joe Rogan into an asset

Guy trying to come up with console controls for a first person shooter before the dual analog stick became standard “you move with the right stick, strafe with Dpad, push forward on the left stick to lock-on then just hit square to fire weapon. Ya, somthing really natural and intuitive like that”

Dudes will be like “if Joe Rogan is an idiot then why am I giving him money?” As if that’s a good argument

It’s hilarious if the shooter wasn’t a professional assassin, and he just managed to shoot Charlie Kirk in the funniest possible place at the funniest possible time on pure luck.

Like, since I was a kid and I first saw him on TV, I was like “this guy kinda’ sucks” and then the world was like “oh you have NO IDEA how much!”

Every time I have learned a new thing about Seinfeld it made me hate him more.

Took a few decades of practice destabilizing smaller nations, but you better believe we brought it back home! USA! USA!

I am on acid though so there’s that

A bunch of intelligence agencies are trying to justify their existence and funding by taking out each other’s assets and disguising it as some kind of “culture war”

There was Charlie Kirk fan who posted a video saying she was front row center when he got shot and witnessing it scared her for life, and all I replied was “lol”

“They shot Charlie Kirk because of his words” = “they did 9/11 because they hate freedom”

Now that we know it was right wing on right wing violence and he do it for a meme, can you stop lecturing everyone on “violence is not how you solve political differences”

Imagine using that website in any legitimate way at this point. The Marketplace was the only useful features and now that is full of AI slop fake listings and phishing scams

Kirk trolls don’t seem to function on the main forms of social media I use. So I see them just desperately trying to figure out how to insult me via Facebook

Like they are literally just giving me free engagement with no way to tell me I’m ugly, unfunny and stupid.

Hahahah! So the Charlie Kirk fans trying to come after me are going to my old Twitter account that got banned years ago, and a Facebook “public figure” page I never check. The engagement and new views on that page shot up the day after he died. But there’s nothing you can even comment on that page

Charlie Kirk getting sniped has the dumbest Christians to ever live, scared as fuck lol. Just complete fucking morons who’ve been brainwashed into the most moronic shit in the history of humanity, convinced that Charlie was a “hero.” Evangelicals are dumb fuck baby brian idiots.

You’ll find a few consistent world views and values with me. And a big one is that I fucking HATE cults. I don’t know if anything has done more useless damage to mankind than cults and the people who fall for them.

Damn insulting Charlie Kirk really pisses off a lot of people whose biggest achievement is getting pregnant.

They don’t understand. Back on Twitter I had MASSIVE attacks against me. I’m talking about THOUSANDS of people pissed of and sending me insults and threats. More than once this happened. What these dorks are throwing at me now is truly chump change in comparison

They don’t know what to do when someone has as little empathy for them as they do for everyone else. When they are hit below the belt harder than they can throw low blows back, they just start glitching out.

Some Charlie Kirk fans coming to my Instagram to “attack” me. I’ve been so mean in my replies that they just isntsntly block me. Kirk fan “keep catering to the dumbest people on the planet” Me “I don’t cater to Evangelical Christians, what are you talking about?” Kirk fan *instsntly blocks me*

Duke Nukem Voice “I came here to kick ass, and chew ass. And I’m all out of ass! I am going to eat your ass!”

“And now, the youngest man to ever be sworn in as President of the United States of America, Charlie Kirk!”

I have no idea how to tell if I lost followers from my Charlie Kirk tweets but I sure have gained a bunch of new ones. And shocked many of my old ones who haven’t left