Mars cazimi in Capricorn, today? We don't need to know Mars’ business like that.

“Everyone knew that there was no power balance between the Senate and the people of Rome. Democracy was a charade. There was just the Senate and they would kill to keep it that way. And there would be no consequences when they did.” - A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum by Emma Southon

I'm taking a stand-up workshop so if you are in Chicago you can see me bomb at the Lincoln Lodge for the grad show on 02/10 @ 6:30 pm. Bring your own 🍅 to throw at me! (please make sure 🍅 is rotten because I bruise easily 🥲)

I'm giving up my corporate life and buying a terrible party city wig. I'm going to become a small town late-night local public access medium who is just mean as hell and ultimately just scamming/feuding everyone. Think cigarette mom white trash meets hot topic. That's how your email finds me!

The woman killed by ICE was Renee Nicole Good, a 37-year old who was the mother of a 4-year old child whose father already died a few years ago. The Star Tribune talked to her mother. www.startribune.com/she-was-an-a...

I was getting so grumpy gus at the game lol 😆

I am taking part in a femme-focused writing group. And it was nice to be in a creative space where I immediately respected everyone in the room. Because, you know, I don't respect men.

Fiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnneee, I guess I could be convinced to visit Rome BUT only if I get to slow blink at every cat I come across like a fucking psycho

We aren't beating the terrible man simulator rumors! Oops! 🫣

I just really like saying “EW-ahhh!” #gamingclips

“Oh god oh god oh god oh god…” [ eats elotes grilled cheese, experiences peace for a moment ] “Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god…”

This might be a humble brag but one time when a dude was breaking up with me he said something along the lines of, “I'm sorry things didn't work out with us because you're the hottest girl I've ever dated.” and I guess cackling in his face wasn't the right response.

Sure, okay, Tik Tok tarot reader, the dude is totally in love with me but - uh - quick question, what is that on your nightstand?

“So, fun fact about me, I one time had a romantic dream involving the Grinch! He was very soft and an incredible kisser. And you know, they say if you are dreaming about them it's because they are dreaming about you!” - me, in new job orientation.

New Year's eve selfies! Enjoyed walking home and hearing all the parties and music. It was capturing little sound vignettes of a collective moment we are all part of. 💋🍾🪩✨

Chicago’s annual snowplow naming contest is underway and Mayor Brandon Johnson is backing the name “Abolish ICE.” blockclubchi.co/4pi3DA4

Happy new years, ya cuties. 💋 lets keep destroying systems of oppression and eat more sweet treats 💕

Now it makes sense why that was there… 🔥🧯🚒

person with naturally curly hair walks by me. I spider monkey climb them and force them into a neck crank submission to whisper threateningly to their hair follicles: “you are so freaking gorgeous, I could cry.”

Join us!!! We’re live!

Hi! So some scammers made a fake IG of me to msg pals and be scammy and my first thought was omg so they think I’m famous??? But block any accounts like this one and don’t talk to them!

Updated the essay with initial reactions from group chats with friends when I shared the details of my “soul mate” readings and art! 🔮🪄💕

This was definitely the time of day when my adderall had worn off…

Hire me, I am so profeshional editor human person!

Everything babka! Everything 👏🏻 BABKA 👏🏻 me running up and shaking some poor man while screaming, “it’s like an everything bagel but it’s BABKA!!!!!!!!” His family weeps and howls in fright.

Is Pluribus just the story of how the grinch stole Christmas? The main grouchy lady being the grinch, and the infected being the whos. Also, I haven’t watched Pluribus.

A mlem from Behemoth, her gift to you 🎁🌟🎄 [ 👤🔫 😠 you better be grateful ]

Got on the 420 train at Kimball, gotta be a sign. The psychics said to watch out for important numbers.

Have to poop immediately after eating? Here’s a sure-fire way to tell if it's gastrocolic reflex or uh-oh ya tum-tums sick. Do ur guts feel like: A - security at a celeb meet+greet keeping the line moving B - a shotgun just cocked in the dark, dread + cold sweat Either way go to the 🚽, champ.

(sorry to double post, told in the last I'm no good at self-promoting) I paid 3 Etsy Psychics to predict/draw my “Soulmate” because dating feels like a capitalist hellscape. It was a fun experiment and I wrote a personal essay about it. wp.me/pfJWQc-jR

ADHD HOT TIP: read things in silly voices so I will actually read them!

In trying times, I believe in a little manufactured whimsy as a form of self-care. So, I paid 3 Etsy Psychics to predict/draw my “Soulmate” because dating feels like a capitalist hellscape. It was a fun experiment and I wrote a personal essay about it. If you care to read it. wp.me/pfJWQc-jR

☠️ 𝕸𝖆𝖈𝖆𝖇𝖗𝖊 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖉𝖆𝖞𝖘 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘦! ☠️ Tonight: no stream 🚫 We are too busy teaching Krampus how to bounce on it crazy style! 😜 We’ll be back 12/29 but in the meantime, check out the YouTube channel or give the ole podcast a listen! 📺 youtube.com/@lovelycraft... 🎧 lovelycraftians.com/season-1

“That’s all ya’all giving me…just a hard time???” Oops, my east Coast-born attitude is showing…

When I see one of our YouTube videos gets a whole ten likes or we a get a comment on a video…

No one in the cafe knows how many fart sounds I'm listening to while editing this Dead Space video…

Sure my bones would be happier if I moved somewhere way warmer but I would miss the parade of cute doggies in winter gear that Chicago winters provide me.

“Your tears look like works of art under a microscope…because of electrolytes, lipids, and hundreds of proteins shape the way that these crystals form.” - science video Are you flirting with me? Because it's working!

Honestly living forever sounds absolutely awful but I could be convinced if it meant I could get through my to-read piles…and do all the artsy ideas I have…and maybe take like a ten-year nap…

“You’re so responsible! You’ve been using the same email address since you were 19!” And yet, I’ll run out of my apartment completely not seeing the item I needed to take with me hanging on the doorknob…

NEVER SHOW YOUR BACK TO A TOILET 🚽 💥

“so what are the next steps you want to take in your career?” Meanwhile, I'm over here still calling it my day job and doing it for my silly fun art things…

The best part of the, “You’re mean one, Mr Grinch” song is when he says, “The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: "Stink! Stank! Stunk!"” like the best roast ever. Hottest diss track. Left no crumbs.

Hooray! Lets see how many more NPC’s moms I can date 💖

Me not putting an emoji reaction on your Slack message was me being kind.

I hate it when my enemies lure me into a false sense of security by tricking me with a hologram of my boo 😢

Hate being perceived? Might I recommend editing yourself and the fun times you and your friends have that makes you lower guards and be the truest gobliny version of yourself? It's like cringe exposure therapy! 💖

I’ll never understand how romance novels make the love interest a gazillionaire CEO and expect me to believe he’s hot. Like… really? Every rich CEO looks like a dead-eyed ghoul who's got a taste for toes.

Okay but how did they know I’ve been on the hunt for realistic looking severed arms? I did that on a VPN and private browser???!!!!

Someone really drew that blood on that poor NPCs gooch ❌😩