Got up early, made these shorts, at a wedding, so so jet lagged I can smell time also I had a precautionary pseudoephedrine for morale and I am going to murder my knees on the dancefloor thank you bye

Cankles like pigs, house is 32°C, bags are in Sydney AND the road resurfacing that was meant to happen while we were away didn’t do a single thing

London looks hot only 7 more hours till I’m home in Nottingham washing the sludge out of my grease trap

In transit in Abu Dhabi where the low today (at 5am) is 31. In Nottingham where I hope to be tonight, the high is to be 32. Makes you think. Mostly it makes me think ‘fucking hell’

Well I managed to realise I’d left my wallet at mums BEFORE the taxi driver got on the motorway AND I got a waiata from a tūī as we were leaving so in the whole a good trip I think c u soon UK I am going to stink when I land in thirty to forty feral hours

Oi mista, it’s me birthdee

Nottingham has a Pici but it doesn’t have a Joshua so it makes u think

I once did a full routine to Proud Mary in this Eagle, unasked! Who even knows where I got the pompoms from? I don’t!

Picked up my friends from the train station in mums car, then walked from mums to dinner, leaving their luggage in the car boot. Got home and drove them to their accommodation on the shore, in the rain, over the bridge, got there, opened the boot, no bags. While we were out mum had put her car away

Me before a sausage sizzle sausage. Me during the sausage sizzle sausage. Life changing

Did park run this morning, awful, after nearly seeing god last night from a powerful half-of-an Anzac pot biscuit and delightful convo with a friend who does pottery who wanged some glaze powder into the fire for a jolly jape

Went for a hike out west by the beaches etc

@thelabandfield.bsky.social birds innit

Fucking love this I am so pleased

Fuck I love being gay the gossip is amazing

Tangy? I’m more familiar with zesty people from Birmingham eyebrows eyebrows

Off up north to see the land 😍

One of my fave houses, they’ve really toned it down though

Fucking hate fucking running but it’s lovely golden dawn sun so on balance I only slightly hated it.

Doing parkrun in another country it’s literally inconceivable

My sleep cycle this week

Glamour can’t be taught but you can always appreciate mine as long as you like.

NO REST FOR THE WICKED, mum’s garden is getting its semi decadal attention

Well I tried to stay up late but 4pm felt like a bullet to the temple so now here we are at midnight, ready for the day ahead.

I’m in Auckland! It’s pissing it down! It’s also 15°C in winter! Wtf!

ONLY IN BLOODY SYDNEY

God I’d murder for a wet wipe

Watching wuthering heights the way it should be watched, on a plane after a wine but mostly I’m on my phone

Finally in bloody London get me OUTTA here

Seeing all the sights today 🫪

So begins 84 years of travelling to go have a cup of tea in silence with my mum 🛫

Walked to the shops and there were ripe oats growing outside.

Fuck I need a dog 😭

What a NICE day. I did lose about three hours around midday but we all have days like that don’t we.

Did a 6.3k cycle to do a 5k run #boymaths

keir starmer call an election you messy bitch

Teams is having a normal one, it's setting everyone as Away. I might put an out of office message on telling people i am actually here.

a fire truck has driven frontways up my narrow, dead end, dog leg street and is now stuck across the road and has turned off its engine. I guess they live here now. I want to go down and say 'there's a reason the rubbish truck backs up to the top' but i feel like late night smarm may not be helpful

Dog sitting for a few days while his dads go to France to get mazzed up

Because I love fun and doing fun things I took a detour on my cycle home to look at this stupid new bridge thing. It doesn’t even go up and down! It just goes across!

had to come into campus today and i'm in an open plan and so far i can't hear myself think and someone with a DEEP WET COUGH is doing his best to inoculate the atmosphere.

My other friend who is called george came over sunday, after the first george who is called george left, to take some pics of me doing the bees and i don't look complete fucked in them so here are some.

This might of been choriza may but honestly I was listening more than I was looking cos I am too old and tired to shove to the front, even in the more sedate setting of chesterfield pride

Who told Adam Rickett she could sing

There is a DJ and we are out there on a Friday because someone has to!

Am going back to NZ for a visit soon cos i want to see my mum and rejuvenate my suffrage and the only time we can go is while mark is between jobs so i was checking the weather and i feel like going back to NZ winter is more of a lateral move?

"is it thunder or just bin day?" and other curtain twitching musings

NOPE, try a less disgusting word

I’m so pleased to see goldfinches enjoying the hawksbit seeds. Turning most of the lawn to a meadow means I don’t have to mow as much space AND the bees get flowers AND the birds get some habby tat AND mark gets enrichment from telling me about how the yellow rattle has spread this year