I am nowhere near the amount of disabled I was last year. I'm definitely still emotionally disabled, but I am more resilient too. TMS and Zepbound were the magic combo!

Now it's 2026, I'm not especially stressed, compared to those other times in my life, but I am stressed about my health trajectory. A year ago, I was physically disabled. Now I can stand for over an hour! I still have a hard time crouching over, but I think physical therapy and movement will help

Then when Trump got elected I started running on the track near my house but that only lasted for a few days. I was really out of shape by 2017.

Then in college I had a really big trauma happen to me that made me angry, so I would get up really early and go to the gym to run and punch a punching bag. That really helped me emotionally. But I didn't run a continuous mile or anything, I just ran aimlessly around the track until I was too tired

Google told me that I needed to run in short intervals with walking in between and then increase the intervals over time. So I did that. I think it took me like 3 months to work up to it, but I eventually ran a continuous mile. Then I never did it again. I was like okay I did it, I'm done! haha

Then in high school I started going to the gym (which my gym teacher took as credit so I didn't have to fully participate in gym class LMAO) and I wanted to run a mile, so I googled "how to run a mile" because I knew there was some magic to it.

My history with running is kind of weird. In middle school I never ran the mile in gym class. I always walked. I would try to jog but I just couldn't do it without getting cramps and chest pain. The soccer kids... okay sure I understand how they can just run... but like... can regular kids just run?

I can't smoke ever again now that I know this information. That kind of sucks because edibles give me a headache, but maybe I need to learn to live sober. I'm so over dry-mouth and munchies anyways.

I really want to take aggressive care of my heart because I found out I have a genetic condition that causes my veins to be extra sticky and I'm more prone to early heart attacks, strokes, etc. I'm so glad my new doc tested me for lipoprotein (a)!

I'm working on some leg exercises that strengthen my "shin muscles" (I forget what it's called lol) so hopefully in due time that will be gone and I won't end up with shin splints. I've heard those are horrible!

I hadn't decided I wanted to run then, I just wanted to see how far I could run. Turns out not very far LOL. This time I'm in better shape and I did a stretch warm up plus a 5 minute walking warm up. I think that really helped. The only "pain" I felt was some discomfort in my shins.

Turns out 30 seconds was a little too easy (crazy thing to say for me) so I did 40 second run intervals with the 3 minute walking breaks. I felt no pain in my chest at all! The last time I tried to run a few months ago my chest was in horrible pain for an hour.

Yay! A month or so ago I made the decision that I want to start running to take better care of my heart. My daily walks are a great thing for my insulin resistance, but they don't do much for my heart health. Today I finally started! 30 seconds running, 3 minutes walking, repeated 6 times.

Today I learned: You have a better chance of surviving metastatic pancreatic cancer (one of the most deadly cancers) than keeping excess weight off in the long run if you are obese without a GLP1.

You know you’ve been medically gaslit for far too long when you’re happy about abnormal blood test results 🤣

Some test results came back and guess what!! Something autoimmune is going on. My ESR was super high. It could mean cancer, but I’m not too worried about that. Chances are that it’s autoimmune. I feel so vindicated! I KNEW something was wrong!

But my new doc said I shouldn’t worry about it because she is going to use every tool in her power to get around this new rule and deems it as medically necessary for me. She is a strong proponent of GLP1s. I officially no longer feel I need to go to the hospital this weekend after this appointment

Also… masshealth will no longer be covering Zepbound after this month. That basically sent me into a horrible mental health spiral where I was preparing myself to go into hospitalization to stabilize…

My last doc basically suggested that all my bloodwork is good and normal and I just need to do yoga. FUCK THAT. I’m not denying yoga is helpful in general but that is not a diagnosis nor treatment. She didn’t even know about PCOS changing to PMOS. She couldn’t care less.

This new doctor took in everything I had to say and without me needing to plead my case or educate her, she came to the conclusion that I need a bunch of specialist referrals and in depth bloodwork. She suspects there is something autoimmune going on.

Wow lots of updates on my health journey. I switched insurance so I had to go to a new primary care office altogether which was very anxiety-inducing but HOLY CRAP was that the best decision EVER!

My hypothyroidism and PMOS are not going to go away. Take me off the Zepbound and my chronic starvation will come back. My inflammation that made exercise very intrusive comes back. I do not want to ever work with a doctor who says yoga is the answer to everything ever again.

You dont take people with hypertension off of statins once their blood pressure goes down. You treat chronic diseases FOREVER.

Then my most recent doctor told me I shouldn’t be on Zepbound for the rest of my life. That really pissed me off because I’ve made peace with that. Obesity is a CHRONIC DISEASE! You don’t take people off diabetes medication once their blood sugars are stable.

This one doctor said that I didn’t have insulin resistance because my neck wasn’t discolored. How absolutely ignorant is that? Did she check my fasting glucose? No. Did she ask me further questions about why I believed I had that? No. She just flat out said “no you don’t have that”

They tried to tell me my hormones were fine/normal and that I didn’t have insulin resistance. Like get LOST. I shouldn’t have to know more about this stuff than my own doctor. I ended up with a really late diagnosis of hypothyroidism no thanks to them. It was caught in a hospital, not my PCP.

Due to a change I made in my health insurance last week I had to get a new PCP. I was so worried that I’d have to wait months to see a new one but they got me in for next week! Hopefully this new PCP will be exactly what I need. My old clinic was so awful with the gaslighting and dismissals

I went up a dose on Zepbound last week and I made it through the weekend with no side effects! I’m definitely less hungry and having to force myself to get enough food in, but that’s not a bad problem to have.

Today I did 3 sets of 10 box jumps onto a 16” platform! I feel so powerful 💪

And now they’re inching real close to the healthy range! I am so happy. For that brief moment when I thought my hard work wasn’t paying off, it got real dark. But now I’m feeling extremely good about my results!

And YES MY LIPIDS ARE IMPROVING! I’ve improved by like 50% over the last year. In 2023 it was really bad. Somehow it got better in 2024 probably because I was working and moving and had a better kitchen to eat healthier in…

But then I thought: well what were they before? Maybe they’re improving, just not in that healthy range yet? And thankfully I was able to see the “trend” option which shows past results…

So I got my bloodwork back and what a rollercoaster of emotions that caused! My lipid panel was abnormal - what should be low was high and vice versa. So of course I start panicking… I’ve made so many changes with my diet and exercise… how could I not be healthy???

While yes I have sooooo much more energy than I did before I started Zepbound/working out/eating healthy, I still have pretty limited energy compared to people without the hormonal issues I have. I refuse to just accept that I am forever doomed to have low energy due to my PMOS and hypothyroidism.

I asked my doc for an endocrinologist appointment and we’re just waiting to see that insurance approves it. I really hope this will be the key to actually living a more productive and comfortable life.

I’m almost 60lbs down! Just got two more to go to reach that benchmark. My box jumping is getting better and I can jump up onto a 1ft platform! Osteoporosis hates to see me coming 🤣

I’m thrilled with the re-naming of #PCOS to #PMOS! Hopefully this leads to better treatment options in the future. It definitely motivates me to ask for an endocrine specialist referral to further explore what is going on in my crazy body hormonally.

Tomorrow I’m going to the YMCA with my friend Tony 🩷 it’s been nice to reconnect and have a workout buddy! Tony can do pull-ups with barely any assistance and that motivates me big time! I will be unstoppable once I get my first pull up 💪

Today I walked 4 miles in the woods going up and down a bunch of hills. I am so grateful to my body for being able to do that! 🩷💪🩷💪 I’m not sore or irritable, just happily exhausted yet still I am going for my post-dinner mile walk in a few minutes.

But now I can spend 3 hours at the gym any time I want! What a blessing. I am still in shock that I have become someone who wants to spend 3 hours working out 🤣

I finally got my own gym membership at the YMCA! So now I have access to a pool and a sauna! Plus I can take the free bus there any time and stay as long as I please! I’m so grateful to my roommate for letting me be their gym guest for the last few months.

My diet has been pretty bad the last few weeks but I’m getting back on track again. I didn’t gain weight but I didn’t lose any for about a month :/ I just needed a few weeks of having candy for dinner to cope with not vaping 😭

I’m so excited!! When I started going to the gym in January I tried doing a dead hang and I couldn’t even get to “one Mississippi” and today I tried it again and I did 10 seconds no problem! This is what a dead hang is btw:

I’m officially 30 days off the vape and last week I stopped chewing the nicotine gum. I had some headaches but that’s over with. The only annoying thing is my appetite has been a bit out of control.

It’s just water weight but still it’s not cute or fun

Ahhhh they increased my dose and I didn’t notice before taking the shot and now I’m miserable!! Hopefully this gets sorted out asap! I lost 6lbs in two days… that’s not a good thing!

2 weeks off the vape! 💪

I’m on day 5 or 6 of no vaping!! The cravings are still there but it’s so much easier this time around! I am going to get my dopamine back!

We’re getting a new roommate which means I can move into a slightly bigger room this week! I’m so excited because half of my belongings have been in the hallway for a few months 😭

It’s essentially Post Traumatic Growth: The Song.