I’m terrified of ever having to go through chemo after throwing up for a month straight on the higher dose of Zepbound. That experience solidified my determination to get healthy. I learned recently that muscles help fight off cancer. That’s why I’m training so hard.

My roommate joked with the gym trainer today that “Lisa is training for American Ninja Warrior” 🤣🤣🤣 I’m honestly just trying to keep my muscles during my weight loss. Also having strong muscles is going to help me stay independent in my old age and ward off dementia.

Several people have told me that they’ve seen a huge difference in me lately. It feels so validating. I was even called “disciplined” today 🥰 I’m so grateful for the support I have around me and TMS. None of this would have been possible 6 months ago.

I’ve already made so many healthy changes in the last few months. I’m determined to continue repairing the damage I’ve done on my body and my circumstances. The future is looking hopeful and bright. I haven’t been able to say that in 10 years.

But I feel like after TMS, I’ve been able to slowly break out of my coma. I’m realizing I do have control over a LOT of things in my life. I’m choosing to believe in myself that I’m not doomed. I’m ready to start living a life worth living again.

Ever since Trump got elected, 10 years ago!, I’ve been living in hell. I’ve let any sense of control just go out the window. It all felt pointless. It may seem dramatic but as a sexual assault survivor (many times over) it was massively triggering to watch him be elected to the highest power.

I am having so many revelations lately. I’m ready to make some more big changes to my life. I have some limitations but I refuse to let them stop me from trying to live a better life.

I am officially 40lbs down! Body dysmorphia is so real because I can’t see a change at all. The only indication is my clothes fitting looser and the scale dropping.

I did a “lower back pain” workout and all it did was make my sciatica flare up 😭 apparently there are exercises that make sciatica worse. I’ll have to stick with sciatica specific back workouts. And deadlifts are off the table for me.

I took my shot in my arm last week and yeah I think I’m gonna stick with the stomach poke from now on 😭 yes I’m losing weight much faster but at what cost???

I can’t wait to talk about Bad Bunny with my therapist today 😭

Bad Bunny’s show 😍😍😍😍😍 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

I learned so much about vaping today my mind is on fire (in a good way). It has robbed me of so much motivation and happiness. I can’t wait to see how life changes when I’m in the clear.

I’m gonna quit vaping too. 💪 I tried and failed last week going cold turkey but I have a lot of support and strategies now after researching all day and getting a coach (totally free!)

Squats are getting easier 💪 so are pull ups (assisted) and standing crunches! I’m feeling so strong 🩷

On the bright side, I have two gym buddies now so I’m able to go more often! I started writing down my sets and weights so I can keep track. 💪

I tried a new injection site (the thigh) and omg that was not a good idea. It hurt so bad I couldn’t even get the full dose in. I lost 3 lbs in 24 hours due to the *side effects* and the sulfur burps are back. I’m taking a rest day today. Wish me luck! 😭

My high school started a rumor that I was on heroine and that’s how I lost the weight. 🤣

When I lost a bunch of weight in high school I did it the “healthy way” aka calorie deficit and consistent exercise but I don’t think I got enough protein back then. So I started fainting. This time around I have so much more information and control over my diet. No more fainting for me!

Also I’ve been extra hungry the last week and a half. No it’s not the zepbounds failure, it’s biology. I made sure to nourish myself 💪 I will not be under-eating to the point of fainting this time around!

Im so grateful to know that my period cycle affects the scale. Otherwise id be freaking out and under-eating right now. Thank you to all the weight loss accounts that speak about this! I was prepared to see the scale go up so I’m not freaking out or under-eating. I’m going with the flowwww lmao 🤣

Non-scale victory today: me and my roommate are doing a deep clean of the house and I’ve been on my feet for 2 hours and I have no back pain! That is crazy!!!!

My goals at the gym: - Grip strength - Progressive overload - Maintain muscles as I lose weight on Zepbound - Balance - Core strength - Building up my leg strength to be able to do squats easier (right now they’re beyond difficult for me) - Jumping or anything else for bone density

Turns out I’m not doing physical therapy because I don’t have a ride BUT I’m going to the gym with my roommate and the guys that work behind the desk are trainers so I’ll be getting some tips from them. I am determined to not injure myself.

I’m officially 31lbs down! Slow and steady wins the race!

I remember a couple years ago a friend told me their family goes on a “Thanksgiving walk” after they ate and I was like HUHHH????? But now I completely understand.

When foods bother my tummy a good mile walk helps soooo much! It feels good to know that I can help myself out in such a healthy way 😇

I had McDonalds for the first time in over 6 months yesterday. My stomach did not agree with it at all. Partially because I’m so used to eating whole foods and partially due to the Zepbound. But I still lost a pound overnight! I stayed in my calorie deficit 💪

Non-scale victory: my clothes fit me better! I felt so confident yesterday which I haven’t felt in like 10 years! And today a shirt that is usually a bit tight is fitting perfect! 🤩

I made it a whole month without the Zepbound, sticking to my goals, so there’s no reason to worry about it. Also, I haven’t counted a single calorie and I’m still steadily losing weight. It’s amazing what fiber and protein can do for the urges to overeat convenient junk food.

Tonight’s my next Zepbound shot. I’m definitely taking it in the stomach. Yes it will mean that the last few days I will experience cravings again, but I can use that to practice moderation and practice sticking to my macro goals.

Non-scale victory: I fell on the ice a few nights ago and I wasn’t sore at all the next day! I also kinda twisted my ankle that same night and it didn’t bother me at all! I’ve been working a little bit on my balance so I think that helped me not get hurt. 💪💪💪

in the last few weeks I have gone several days without smoking 🌲!!! When I do smoke 🌲 it’s once per day. For the last 15 or so years I have been smoking all day every day. I am so grateful to TMS for changing my brain. I simply cannot smoke all day anymore. 🥳🥳🥳

I’m going to physical therapy soon! I usually go when I have a bad fall that messes up my back, but this time I’m going to learn form and individualized stretches. I can’t afford a personal trainer so physical therapy will be my guide.

Zepbound update: I took my shot in my arm last week and that was not the best idea. I ended up with a few side effects a couple days in. I’m going to continue taking my shot in my stomach for a few weeks and then I will try the arm again. Sulfur burps are horrible! 🤮

I took my first full rest day in over a month yesterday. I usually at least walk every day. Part of me was scared that taking a rest day would get me off track but I’m more motivated to walk again than ever. Sitting on the couch all day yesterday sucked.

Did you know taking Sudafed while on thyroid medication is a no-no? I’m bummed because apparently it’s the most effective cold medication and I have a nasty cold 🤧 Good thing I have a stash of DayQuil.

I lowered my A1C!!! I was one point away from being diabetic 3 months ago. Now I’m at a 5.1 which is almost right in the middle of the healthy range! Seeing my hard work pay off is thrilling!

I’m back on the lowest dose of the Zepbound and I plan to stay on this dose. I don’t understand why insurance pressures people to go up a dose every month. My body could not handle that. Thankfully my doctor advocated for me 🩷🩷🩷

Hell yeah!! I’m back on the Zepbound!! And I’ve been consistently hitting over 20g of fiber a day. No stomach issues :) I worked up pretty slowly to avoid any stomach pain.

Non scale victory: I did 60 jump ropes in a row yesterday at the gym! And I got 9k steps in :) I actually walked to the pharmacy and grocery store. They’re about a mile away. The walk back was brutal with the hills so I might need to get stronger before I do that again but I’m proud that I made it!

I had such a lovely New Year’s Eve! Hung out with some good friends and laughed my ass off all night. I didn’t get as many steps in as I wanted to but that’s okay. I still got 6k steps. Today I’m back to it! 💪 No punishing, no restricting, just back to the new routine.

I struggle to stay in a calorie deficit without the medication. I just get so hangry so often without it. But the quality of my caloric intake is way better. I’m getting so much protein and fiber. The scale is moving slowly but surely!

Yay my doctor got my insurance to approve the lowest dose of Zepbound so I can continue taking it on Monday! I’ve continued to eat better and I’ve increased my walking capabilities over the last few weeks. I’m walking about 3 miles a day! Sometimes even more. Feels so good!

I got almost 17k steps today. That’s more than double my usual. I’m so unbelievably sore but I’m gonna sleep gooood tonight 😇💪

I told the guy from the gym that I couldn’t afford to continue my membership and he extended my membership for two weeks as a Christmas gift! I am so stunned at the kindness of people 🥰

Non-scale victory to share: last week I could only jump 20 times in a row and this week I’m up to 40!

I gained 4lbs since being temporarily off the Zepbound. I won’t let it deter me from keeping up my exercises and protein forward eating. I’m in this for health, not a number on the scale 😇

At least I got my stretches done today while waiting for the doctor 😂

Turns out Mirtazapine has antihistamines in it. Who knew? My allergy test did not go well today. My skin didn’t react to anything. Bloodwork it is then!