You have chosen to free Sam, how pitiful. You've also decided the next president of your United States. I will leave now, you will know when I return

Sam's fate is in your hands, do no evil. forms.gle/VHCgecuVwHip...

Soon

Something which will determine the fate of many.

He doesn't know what's going to happen to him, but he has something for you.

Are you listening? Sam has a message for you.

The time is up for Sam.

Uncle Sam is a horrid individual, you should see no evil.

BREAKING, LBJ and JFK were caught ordering food as a couple and they messed up JFK's order causing LBJ to furiously demand they fix it.

BREAKING, After asked to release the Epstein Files, President Trump released unrelated files proving Bill Clinton is actually Elvis.

BREAKING, Bitch husband of lead editor keeps saying "Dewey defeats Truman."

BREAKING, FDR has escaped containment, he has turned into a weaker form so he could escape. Any sightings of Roosevelt should immediately be sent in reply to this post.

BREAKING, FDR has been trapped by the life force stealing microphones, he remains in a near vegetative state.

BREAKING, Transmission from peanuts reveal Carter flaunting on the banishment of the Elder Bush.

BREAKING, Obama caught dumping the bodies of children in the White House.

BREAKING, Lyndon B Johnson is a werewolf, The federal government is working to get him spayed.

BREAKING, Abraham Lincoln reveals his Stand to use against the anti Americans. (Art by @kotozakichaos.bsky.social )

BRAKING, George W Bush has started a Minecraft SMP with 44 other currently unnamed individuals, he is also streaming on twitch as Xx_Dubya43_xX

BREAKING, LBJ deploys Dog Basket to Vietnam, millions dead.

BREAKING, The frog that runs the US economy had made a new currency, shaq-a-licious XL Gummies.

BREAKING, Micheal Dukakis. Dukakis Du ka kis kakis Du. Dukakis Du Du, kak is.

BREAKING, This frog now controls the US economy. Trump claims “That crooked frog wants nothing more than to destroy our precious economy.” Trump‘s claims remain baseles.

BREAKING, Supreme Court decides Rosalinas actor in a 5-4 decision. Al Gore loses to Al Gore

BREAKING, New photos implicate Bush in the death of Harambee.

BREAKING, Ultra Super Supreme Leader Dick Cheney reveals himself, claims that he will annihilate the Dark Lord, Nixon, The Glorious Pharaoh Joe Biden, and Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

BRAKING, Al Gore has auditioned to play Rosalina in the Mario Galaxy Movie.

BREAKING, James Monroe has become a frog. Witnesses say he was kissed, lead editor for USU claims they’re being framed.

BREAKING, Carter says he is still out there.

BREAKING, Trump finally goes through with his campaign promise and legally changes his name to "PEACE."

BREAKING, Obama prepares for his dastardly schemes.

BREAKING, The inside of the Elder Bush Cup is shown. Dark Lord claims “The only available banishment had a yoga studio, I’m sorry.”

BREAKING, Glorious Pharaoh Joe Biden is mentoring Nixon on his quest.

BREAKING, Bill... Woah... One of the ladies on the news team is drooling right now.

BREAKING, Nixon Creates RoboCop, claims the mechanoid officer is made to attack the Dark Lord and is directly powered by Nixon’s souls.

BREAKING, New political factions form. Coolidge is declared the head tribesman of FDR’s followers.

BREAKING, New photographs suggest another secret leader puppeting the President.

BREAKING, The Nixonite cult which is devoted to sacrificing themselves to aid Nixon in his quest of defeating the Dark Lord.

BREAKING, JFK attacked by Big Scary Monsters.

BREAKING, Carter is consumed by the peanuts… officials say his chance of escape is near zero…

BREAKING, The Easter Bunny is sleeping with George W Bush.

BREAKING, FDR ascended to godhood, claims to be “The only one of those fools with actual power, Nixon and Obama know nothing.”

BREAKING, After countless mail in ballots from Milwaukee came in, Joe Biden was elected Glorious Pharaoh.

BREAKING, Obama is revealed to be the Dark Lord mentioned by president Nixon. "This has nothing to do with race, that man is just pure evil." Says Dick.

BREAKING, Nixon caught drinking the souls of his enemies. Claims "I must gain enough power to defeat the dark lord."

BREAKING, People remember Zachary Taylor existed

BREAKING, After the banishment of the Elder Bush new documents have come out suggesting at least three of our presidents have been influenced by the animals.

BREAKING, George HW Bush has been turned into a cup for his crimes, his final words were “Two”.

BREAKING, Rutherford B. Hayes found at out of season pride parade.

BREAKING, Bill Clinton found to be on Einstein list. His response "E did not have M with that C²"

BREAKING, Due to the actions of Trump and Ford. God has evicted all former presidents from the afterlife. "First my dog and now people can't even die anymore, America sucks."