I suppose that there is a very straightforward reason that I’ve gained 20 pounds in the last couple of years… Yep, *definitely* work stress…

At the National Aviary, ahead of #WPAFW. It’s small, but I love being here with the birds.

Clair Obscur devs: “Gosh, hope nobody got invested in any of our characters…” Me: 😭

Jesus wept. We killed a bottle of rye in less than 3 hours.

That feeling of wanting to be with people and socialize, but being wound so fucking tight that I don’t think I can be a good-times guy right now.

The mythical quadruple-booked time slot. 🎉

I think I have a slightly better appreciation for people with sound sensitivity. Me, I’m generally unfazed by noise, except when I’m trying to focus at work. But, there is this guy on the train chewing gum—mouth open—like it owes him money and I’m silently going spare standing next to him.

I cannot wait for footed sleeper weather. The rest of the year, I find myself going ten rounds with the blankets at night, as I fight to keep my feet warm. Once the cold weather hits and I can wear a sleeper without self-roasting, I have very quiet, restful nights.

I think it’s time I finally drop InControl. I appreciate that I’m a late-braker, given most people dropped them long ago for their Rearz bullshittery. But, I wasn’t really in the position to drop them because they supply a functional, inexpensive work diaper…

E-mail comes into my box: “WADDLE You Waiting For?…” My (metaphorical) ears perk up and I open it without regard to the rest of the subject line… It’s an e-mail from the National Aviary—one of my favorite places by the by—talking about International African Penguin Awareness Day… 😅

It’s probably a good thing that I’m kept so busy every day that I don’t know which way is up half the time. I’m ineffably sad today—about my health, my personal life, my work life, the state of the country…; pick one… or several. And, if I had any real time to sit and think, I’d probably break down.

I’ve done it again: I’m in the Chopt and I’m at that part of the music loop where Tom Tom Club’s “Genius of Love” is darned near unrecognizable because one channel’s worth of speakers is blown out and the music’s hard-panned. I *believe* Sister Nancy’s “Bam Bam” is next…

It wasn’t my intention to have a gnarly shower fall today. But, here we are. (I’m okay, but I’m probably going to feel it tomorrow…)

A bunch of accidents seems to have closed the main route through my town. I’ve been sitting in traffic for 30 minutes to go less than a mile, with a best guess at another 30 for the other mile. At this point, I could park my car at a gas station and walk home quicker.

That line of thinking that I probably shouldn’t go to the cardiologist in a cute, toddler-print diaper, for when they invariably want to take a 12-lead ECG… Cute monsters peeking over my waistband while I’m shirtless might set tongues a-wagglin’.

Second negative COVID test this morning.

I had the pleasure to rent an Ioniq 5 this trip. I was looking to buy one this year, but scrubbed it because of previously-posted reasons. Driving this one around this weekend was a delight. Checks a lot of boxes, including instant-on power, good handling, and smooth ride. Maybe next year.

One last hurrah.

Had a great BFC. It was a whirlwind and I didn’t get to see everyone I wanted or do everything I wanted, but I leave mostly without regret of that, and hopeful that I’ll come again to see and do more.

I think it’s going to take me some number of BFCs before I can attend this con, see a Marci badge or a Peek hat, and not have my heart flutter. As a long-time fur con attendee, who started in the era where you had to hide these things or communicate subtly, it’s a habit that dies hard.

I’m losing so much time to the BFC puzzle and it’s killing me… 😅

One Friday, 10 years ago, I finally decided that—after most of my life being filled with bedwetting and daytime continence issues—it was time to go 24/7. Fitting that the anniversary is being spent at the opening day of BFC.

I really like coming to the Bay Area and SF. I like the vibe and the creativity. The closest word I think I can use is “bohemian”. However, I still just can’t see how I’d thrive out here. How I’d make enough money to live, or deal with the tech bro culture, or the visible wealth divide.

Finally falling into bed at BFC. It’s been a *very* long day, which started almost 20 hours ago my time. I’m happy to see some familiar faces, and to meet a couple new ones.

Not every day that you’re waiting for your plane to arrive, alongside a military honor guard, who offloads a casket into the glorified equivalent of a luggage trailer…

I had the bright hope to take one of my plush suits to BFC this year, finding just as much—if not more—fulfillment being a plushie for cubs as I do being a cub. Looking at how tightly I’m packed—what with diapers and cub clothes and whatnot—it’s probably for the best I abandoned the idea. Still… 😔

I’m looking forward to BFC in the abstract, but only in the abstract. It’s been next to impossible to be excited for something like it when work has me so throughly beaten down and stressed out. I have today to get through, and then it’s unlikely that I’ll be able to disconnect while I’m out there.

All the cubs going to BFC, posting pictures of their outfits: “workin’ on my fit…” Me, going through my clothes, thinking: “man, I hope this fits…” It’s been a rough year since the last BFC. I’m older, heavier, and exhausted. And I am *certainly* not ready for this.

I sometimes get a little too intense with the crosswords. I’ll be doing one (or a few) on the train, be most of the way through, hear that my stop is one or two away, and frantically rush to complete the puzzle. It’s stress I don’t need to give myself, but still do nonetheless.

I’m not sure that I appreciated arriving at my usual WMATA garage on Tuesday to find it half-closed a week early, causing such absolute chaos as to force me to the next station down the line, where I’ve continued to go since out of precaution. But, I think it’s been a worthwhile experience…

I am, it should be said, a passionate S/W engineer. I’d have to be to still want to build things after spending over half my life doing so. What has changed from my younger days is that I want to build things exclusively to help people. I’m tired of all of the useless/harmful things we all build.

It’s fair to say that my disappointment with “AI” is really an expression of disappointment about AI for the sake of AI, coupled with AI for the reduction of headcount, and sprinkling in AI to make the already stinking rich even richer, and not—say—anything particularly wrong with AI.

Spent Saturday into Sunday out on the water, sailing to and from a raft with three other sailors. A great time, and my first experience doing so. All nice people to hang out and chat with, spending time eating and drinking. Also the first time sleeping on our boat. All the same, I’m beat!

We are the tiny boat on the right… 😅

From an engineering management blog that makes its way into my mailbox on the irregular. I know that he’s just stating what the management world already thinks, but I cannot read lines like “Likely treat AI skeptics as underperformers”, without immediately word-associating to “unhinged”.

Duality! Had some fun with the idea of representing both sides of AB/DL. FA: www.furaffinity.net/view/62068401/

When the puppy is working, and I don’t want to go home to be by myself, I at least have a home in the city. Can’t make a habit of it, but this is my second time now and it has my vibes.

“I’m tired, boss… Mostly, I’m tired of people being ugly to each other. I’m tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world, every day. There’s too much of it. It’s like pieces of glass in my head, all the time. Can you understand?”

Bowl of tamago kake gohan and a short, iced Americano. Breakfast of champions.

Oh, great… One of my diaper orders they put the wrong suite address on the package and now I have to hold it at a FedEx location clear in another county. Fuck’s sake.

Every so often I return to an album I really liked a long time ago and play the absolute shit out of it. Gary Numan’s “Replicas” is that album de la semaine. It may surprise no one that I actually like the world building that goes into things, and “Replicas” definitely builds a world.

Missed connection?

I think I’m just going to have to give up my dream of having an electric car. Had the presidency gone the other way, I suspect that we would have continued slowly growing our charging infrastructure. But, under this presidency, with its hostility to technology, we’ll keep seeing rollbacks.

After a few days of having frequent episodes of heart palpitations, I’m having a quiet day. To be fair, I was okay for most of yesterday’s zoo trip. But, they came on strong in the second half, and kept going until after dinner. And, it’s been quiet since then. I hope it lasts.

The end ReFantazio’s second act is kind of wild, but on point for an Atlus game…

At a brewpub bar and listening to this woman griping about how she can’t get an order of wings with all flats to who can I assume is the kitchen manager. And I cannot believe the amount of (negative) energy being expended for this. Girl, you gonna die some day. This is not a valid fight. Get right.

While walking to get coffee this morning, I passed a (well-endowed) woman in a pretty revealing belly dancer-style outfit. Though slightly confused, I thought: you do you. It wasn’t until later that it occurred to me that Otakon is this weekend, the streets filled with a multitude of costumes.

Had a sparrow land next to me as I sat outside eating. I said “hi” as he hopped about, looking for anything to eat. This, of course, caused him to flee—because one of the gods’ cruelest jokes is how scared of you are the tiniest of animals. But, as he fled, the moment he took wing, he peeped. 🥹

Wearing my Apple Watch to track my heart rate in light of the palpitations I continue to sporadically have, and I realize at least one really gee-whiz feature: I can unlock my laptop just by sitting down and moving my mouse. Us using Touch ID was a fantastic improvement. This is a notch above.

Having a pretty bad day for heart palpitations. Started last night just after finishing dinner and has been going—off and on—since then. I’m a little concerned, because, while I’ve had them before—they seem to be connected to gastrointestinal symptoms, and go away in kind—this is the most I’ve had.