I don’t think apple has had an iOS update in the last 5 years that was good. Every update makes my phone harder and more complicated to use, everything is too fluid and responsive, there are too many “hidden menus” to find the shit you could just click and have available. Shit sucks!

About to read house of leaves again, I’m gonna be annoying about it

“Am I shadow banned???” No you’re just not particularly interesting

I think all of my problems today would be solved by a hairy ass grinding my face into dust

I’m not anti-weed but I am very anti-stoner

Damn I’m kind of a dick when I’m not stoned all day 😂

Usually when someone says they have addiction issues to something, people feel pity and encourage sobriety When it’s weed that you’re struggling with, people want to call you weak and a pussy but don’t reflect on why they feel so enraged by the idea of someone choosing to quit after 16 years of use

I will never understand the “the left was so annoying I became conservative” because I am irritated by you guys every single damn day and all I can do is roll my eyes and groan. My most conservative belief is that just because your feelings got a little bit hurt doesn’t mean you need to cry.

I’m like if someone gave a dog a knife

Winged Beast 🐒🪽

Unfortunately now when someone asks me to flex for them I will stop what I’m doing or saying to do it. Intoxicating 😭

I am extremely judgmental of bumper stickers, you can tell SO much about a person from that alone.

Held him down while he was running away from it, it’s supposed to hurt a little baby 🥰 that’s the love you’re feeling

Training him right 😉

Any queers on Xbox playing Nightreign?🐶

need my feet licked while I play with my dick 😔

My goal is to be able to do a good healthy hand stand by the summer

This job has me so exhausted I fell asleep trying to jack off last night lmao

I’m going to be so naked this summer

Working out is cool cause it’s like yeah I can see my progress and I feel amazing every time I do it but I’m not big enough yet and that gives me mental illness.

Dark Chocolate x Earl Grey 🌹

I like galettes cause they can be ugly lookin and it gives them this sort of old world rustic charm in the end

I tried my hand at steamed bao buns. Used this tasty Japanese bbq sauce I found and shredded some chicken for the filling with garlic and shallots. More stir fried cabbage and made some fried rice 🔥

Lmao

Pepper steak & cabbage stir fry while I make carrot and leek soup

Subs are always saying “I’d love for a man to hit me and push my limits!” until you want to punch them in the face

Guys with long hair are either cool as hell or entirely untrustworthy and weird

“I need to do this to someone’s son/daughter” sounds so oddly pedophilic every time I hear it

Visage | PT

Maia Poet admitting she makes 600 dollar biweekly rage baiting people on Twitter is so funny to me cause it’s like…yes girl, make hundreds of thousands of people hate and shit on you daily for minimum wage. Be remembered for that. 😂

Sometimes you see some shit so stupid you can only think “wow I’m actually doing okay in life”

Driving in the snow in a 2WD truck is fun it’s like a game of chance with the gods. Will I live? Will I die? Am I going to stop when I reach the sign at the intersection? Who knows!

Visage and Layers of Fear are such fun games to me but they also create a feeling of sadness that the inspiration for them never came to its full fruition.

Smashing the garlic with the knife blade, feeling something ancestral, primeval — like simians dismantling a log with a rock to feast upon the ants within.

Just once before I die I think I should be given the chance to unravel a mystery surrounding a missing child linked to a demonic cult in a rural village

2025 is the year of the allium🧅

Got the suds 🤧

Calico cookiesssssss へ ♡ ╱|、 ૮ - ՛ ) (` - 7 / ⁻ ៸| |、⁻〵 乀 (ˍ, ل ل じしˍ,)ノ

Made about 250 cookies, a pecan pie and a caramelized onion galette I’m so tired lmao

There was a body laying on the other side of the road so I went into help-mode and just jumped out with my hazards on, managed to lock my keys and phone in the truck running. He was mostly fine, just drunk and banged up, struggling to stand. I just wanted cookie cutters from the store 🫨

Eating a rotisserie chicken all alone like a pathetic alley cat

Hibiscus-Sumac Shortbreads Experimenting with flavors, this one taste like the thought of a lemon holding a bouquet in the next room

How many days into creatine until I stop having a full tank every 20 minutes

“The world you knew no longer exists” also applies to people

Really don’t think I’ve ever seen a person wear broccoli hair well. If you’re 25 or older you look like you’re having a midlife crisis, if you’re younger than that you look 12. Just not a winning hairstyle I’m sorry.

Never made pasta sauce from scratch but I volunteered to make it for a crowd of almost 30 people what is wrong with me

What are two flavor combinations you like that I could try incorporate into shortbread dough? They can be weird! I just did Sesame-Matcha and they were beautiful :)

A ripe pear is unmatched

Let me open your hole up 🛠️

Catch me now I’m falling down, or am I flying honey?