Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this "Fuck All Fascist Scum" Sticker. It also doubles as an effective fascist detector. If someone is offended by this sticker, they're probably a fascist. https://collabs.shop/0qjgsa

Update: The number is now 1,111. Q: What will happen when the number gets bigger? A: It will be bigger than it was before. Q: Why is the goal one billion dollars? A: Because they won't let me make it one trillion. Q: Will my wife come back if I make the […] [Original post on mstdn.social]

It's a good album.

Wise words from a wise man.

I am terribly sorry to interrupt your doomscrolling, but today's Low Quality Ad is for this Floral Axolotl Pin. Look at him. Does his floral crown make him king of the axolotls? No. It serves no functional or symbolic purpose. It just looks nice. https://collabs.shop/1ewagq

Wow, that's a lot of blinking.

Crows are so smart.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Jellyfish Blanket. Jellyfish are called jellyfish because they're the only fish that eat jelly. https://collabs.shop/xpchp5

I think Abe was right.

It's pathetic how hard some people try to get new users on here to follow them. The new people would never fall for such blatant pandering. They are far too smart and attractive for that.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Trojan Horse Pin. The Trojan Horse wasn't full of soldiers, but was actually filled with condoms. It was a weird attempt to make Greece have a declining birth rate. https://collabs.shop/pokheq

Whoops, I forgot to celebrate this year.

We made a comic about coffee.

What a scam.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Unlikable Woman Patch. Unfortunately, I can't get one because I'm not a woman. And because I'm not unlikable. Right? Right? https://collabs.shop/cmd46a

RIP Ted.

Wow, that's so fascinating.

BREAKING: Inspired by Hegseth's beach flyovers, Markwayne Mullin announces that ICE plans to boost its public image by having agents perform celebratory tear gas demonstrations in crowded daycare centers across the nation.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this "Do Harm, Take Shit" Pin. I know some people prefer "Treat others the way you want to be treated", but I find this lifestyle to be way more fun. https://collabs.shop/zhkihi

I've seen my share of beard babies, and they are not a pretty sight.

That blows my mind.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Goat Blanket. That goat is the GOAT, which stands for "Goat Of All Time." https://collabs.shop/jsszj0

What a bargain.

We made a comic about haggling.

RIP Blockbuster.

Christopher Nolan's next film will be shot on a specialized 400 pound camera that must be frozen solid at all times so it does not overheat and explode. The film can only be viewed through a 19th century kaleidoscope that is locked away in the Scottish Museum of Historical Doodads.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this One Rep Max Frog Pin. Physique inflation is insane. In the 1960s, Kermit was considered to have the ideal frog body. These days, a frog gets called mid if it doesn't look like this. https://collabs.shop/22ggpr

That's so scary.

Effective immediately, all of our (straight) soldiers will be injected with daddy juice to ensure that their muscles are swelling with American pride (not gay).

Very impressive.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this "This Email Better Find You Before I Do" Sticker. If I could go back in time and punch one person in the head, it'd be Hitler. But if I could go back in time and punch 10,000 people, the jerk who invented emails would […] [Original post on mstdn.social]

BREAKING: Trump plans to announce that Biden stole the 2020 election with assistance from China. To prevent further voter fraud, the midterm elections will exclusively use state-of-the-art Trump Voting Machines, which are mass-produced in China.

Seems like an honest mistake.

Always sleeping, never dreaming.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Cowboy & Skeleton Pin. Huh, I don't remember this scene in Brokeback Mountain. https://collabs.shop/ytagsc

I'd argue that Bob was by far the worst rapper in the group.

That's crazy.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Meteor Shower Blanket. Did you know that meteors kill over 50,000 people every single year? This is why you should always wear a helmet. https://collabs.shop/n3pqms

Smart.

We made a comic about calculus.

It's okay Tom, we all have regrets.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Can of Worms Pin. Oh, so that's why people use the phrase "Opening a can of worms" in a negative way. Because it's full of worms. Gross. https://collabs.shop/aefmdw

Amazing.

It simply can't be done.

That explains a lot.

Look, I know you all think this account is funded by the owl industry. But that's not true. That's absurd. I don't think owls even have an industry to promote. On an unrelated note, today's Low Quality Ad is for this cute Stuffed Owl. https://collabs.shop/n7skhh

Seems wasteful.

Sounds like Mark is living his best life.

They are basically Daredevil.

This morning's Low Quality Ad is for this Motel Dresser Pin. By law, all Motel rooms are required to have a drawer containing a Bible and a handgun. If your room is missing either of these items, call the front desk and the attendant will be happy to bring up a new one. https://collabs.shop/4ll7nt