Selvaseelan Selvarajah
@drselvarajah.bsky.social
š¤ 3232
š„ 1577
š 452
Just a GP (primary care physician) in East London, UK with a few other roles. Views, mine only.
My mate was stunned when he found out that he was holding the taser the wrong way.
#dadjokes
about 21 hours ago
2
8
0
I was attacked by a herd of cows. I was only grazed.
#dadjokes
2 days ago
2
10
1
Bought a robot puppy. No bark. Only byte.
#dadjokes
3 days ago
3
6
1
I accidentally dropped some ice cubes into a pot of boiling water. Now I canāt find them.
#dadjokes
5 days ago
2
4
1
I'm getting a puppy called Hamlet for Christmas. He is a Great Dane.
#dadjokes
7 days ago
2
49
4
My mate lost his job as a stage designer. He left without making a scene.
#dadjokes
10 days ago
2
7
1
I was fired from the Advent calendar factory. Just for taking a one day off!
#dadjokes
12 days ago
1
7
3
I've just found out that they wonāt be making 12ā rulers any longer.
#dadjokes
14 days ago
3
6
1
I was walking past the YMCA this morning and saw a teenage boy sat outside stroking some feathers. I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down...ā
#dadjokes
16 days ago
1
3
0
In a few weeks, Iām going go visit the Prime Meridian. Not sure what Iām gonna do in the Mean Time.
#dadjokes
18 days ago
3
14
1
My mate has injured himself at a spinning class. I think heās taken a turn for the worse.
#dadjokes
19 days ago
2
9
1
I am currently one of the world record holders for the Rubik's Cube. It has been 40 years,and I still can't solve it.
#dadjokes
21 days ago
1
3
1
Last Sunday, the priest in a mask just threw some holy water on me. Sounds odd, but itās a blessing in disguise.
#dadjokes
22 days ago
0
5
0
I'm a pretty good ventriloquist .... even if I say so myself.
#dadjokes
23 days ago
3
10
1
Iāve caught a virus while sitting on the London Eye. There's a lot going round.
#dadjokes
24 days ago
3
5
1
Little known fact: There is a patron saint of checking bread rolls before taking them out of the oven. Saint John The Bap Test.
#dadjokes
26 days ago
1
11
2
I went out for a meal with a group of electricians last night. None of them wanted the starters. Just went straight for the mains.
#dadjokes
29 days ago
4
24
4
Last night, someone broke in to our house and took a dozen eggs. They also left a saucepan filled with warm water. Police believe it was poachers.
#dadjokes
30 days ago
4
20
2
I have piles and piles of ironing to do. I don't know which is worseā¦
#dadjokes
about 1 month ago
1
10
1
To the person who stole my glasses⦠I will find you. Got some contacts.
#dadjokes
about 1 month ago
3
5
2
Everyone knows Alan Turing, who cracked the Enigma code. Few people knew his sister Kate, who provided drinks and snacks for his colleagues.
#dadjokes
about 1 month ago
4
10
0
Police are investigating why the plaque on the wall outside the Colgate head office, keeps disappearing.....
#dadjokes
about 1 month ago
4
11
2
I wonder if the guy who created the term āone hit wonderā came up with any other phrases?
#dadjokes
about 1 month ago
3
18
7
For the record... I don't own a turntable.
#dadjokes
about 1 month ago
2
11
0
I just can't believe that I was sacked from the Calendar factory after all the extra days I put in.
#dadjokes
about 1 month ago
2
17
3
Typewriter for sale. Perfe t working ondition.
#dadjokes
about 1 month ago
2
9
2
I've heard rumours about Greggs starting deliveries using drones. It all sounds a bit 'pie in the sky' to me.
#dadjokes
about 1 month ago
2
10
4
Just want to say that since I had surgery on my neck I have never looked back.
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
1
9
0
I've got a job in a salt and pepper factory. Itās just seasonal work.
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
2
10
0
Dear Mrs. Stone, As usual we are declining your offer to donate blood. Best regards The Blood bank
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
3
8
3
I was so close to winning the World's Most Congested Nose competition. But I blew it at the last minute!
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
2
10
0
My mate has been proposed by two women. One makes incredible pancakes. The other writes beautiful poetry. Not sure if he should marry for batter or for verse?
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
2
10
1
I hired a handyman today and gave him a list of things to do. When I got home he'd only done tasks 1,3, & 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
2
10
1
There has been much debate as to the best field event in the Olympics as of late. Discus.
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
2
10
2
The best underwear jokes are.... brief!
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
2
3
0
I dropped a tub of margarine on my foot two weeks ago. I canāt believe itās not better.
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
1
4
1
Getting my kite stuck in the tree isnāt the worst thing that happened to me today. But itās definitely up there.
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
1
7
1
My doctor told me to get some professional help. So I'm looking for a Butler, a Maid and a Chauffeur.
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
1
16
3
Just heard that a man collapsed on the ferris wheel at the local fair. Doctors say he is slowly coming around.
#dadjokes
about 2 months ago
2
11
3
In a restaurant my phone kept receiving pictures of stews & casseroles. Then it dawned on me - I was connected to a wireless hotpot.
#dadjokes
2 months ago
1
12
2
Dropped a tenner today and chased it for miles. I never caught it but at least I had a good run for my money!
#dadjokes
2 months ago
1
17
2
Just spent 8 hours in A & E. I fell off the roof at IKEA, and got my legs wedged in the sign.
#dadjokes
2 months ago
1
7
1
Dog Walkers. Worst flavour of crisps, ever.
#dadjokes
2 months ago
2
11
1
I Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night. He was so bad, a man in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
#dadjokes
2 months ago
3
27
6
Iām thinking about starting a welding club if anyone wants to join...
#dadjokes
2 months ago
2
6
0
I'm giving up my Ballroom Dance Classes. It just feels like one step forward and two steps back!
#dadjokes
2 months ago
1
5
4
I once worked as a mannequin in a clothing store. I held that position for quite a long time.
#dadjokes
2 months ago
1
10
1
I've just been offered the lead role in a new movie about heavy metal.
#dadjokes
2 months ago
0
5
0
Someone asked me what the 9th letter of the alphabet was. It was a complete guess but I was right.
#dadjokes
2 months ago
3
10
3
I failed a fire safety test at work. When asked what steps I would take in the event of a fire, saying, ālarge fast onesā was wrong!
#dadjokes
2 months ago
1
10
2
Load more
feeds!
log in