I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain. It's laughter&it's loving I disdain. Don't talk of love. Well, I've heard the word before, it's sleeping in my memory. I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died. If I never loved I never would have cried. I am a rock, I am an island.

Not minding someone's past wrong doings because of recognising that the present is what mainly matters and asskissing someone who is still a nasty ahh are fully different. I try to do the 1st & avoid the 2nd, but sadly I couldn't always know which one I'm doing & found out the hard way. Very scary.

I find it annoying when people say I can't be white bc of being Turkish. Does it not mean anything that Turkish people have variety & that I'm genetically more European? I know being white or not isn't important but I'm sensitive to being seen in false ways, partly bc of certain traumas...-white man

I'm a pretty masculine man that's even stereotypically masculine in many & various ways, and no, I don't think liking cute stuff (like plushies, cute aesthetics/designs, etc) makes me any less masculine. (Yes, I knowingly worded this funnily.)

My dream urged me to do this even if I don't expect from it to lead to anything. If you know/ever knew kahootashoota/daaxwillstrikeback, can you please reach out & let me talk to you? It doesn't matter what your view on him is or where you reach out to me. He was the closest friend I ever had. And..

If you whine about your life being crap but treat people extremely horribly, especially ones who have it worse & love you, go to hell.

#myart #digitalart #originalart #originalcharacter #originalcharacters #oc #ocs #cute #adorable #funny #comic #darkhumour #darkhumor #friendship #relationship I wanted to post these for Valentine’s Day even if I don’t like Valentine’s Day, to use the opportunity. A few things about Karen & Deren.

I did something really ugly this year which got stuck with me. What happened some days afterwards made it much worse. I'm not fully sure if what I did had anything to do with that but still. I feel like a monster&that I'll always be, no matter how much I change. I keep thinking I'm a good person but

Me being lovingly obsessed with someone doesn't mean I have romantic feelings/a crush. It means my genuine love&appreciation is mixing with BPD. One of the most emotionally painful things. The last time I got a new fav person was in 2019 & I'm sure I'll never have a new one again. Still hurts a lot.

Some of the best compliments I got are "art god", "wonderful sense of humour", "I want a rabbit of my own. I think I would name my rabbit Deniz, after you."

In 2025-2026 I mentioned 2 old friends from years ago that I got back in contact with, would be happy to be friends with again&was trying to see if that can happen. Nevermind. I give up. Like many others who reached out to me in the past, they just never talk. I put in enough effort, but they don't.

The night is leaking out of my head.

People who were born in 2000s are normal, but 1990s are uncs and 2010s are little kids.

Picture of a Hazbin Hotel hater having a ""superior opinion"".

A friend of mine found out I'm the type of person who would do saucy stuff with friends, he asked me if I would with him. I'm very glad there are other people who are into that, I'm aromantic & wouldn't touch strangers, that's the only way I'm willing to get any. But ofc I said no, I'm not into men.

Love is confusing. Why did so much of the people who claimed to love me choose to stay away from me like I'm some virus? Why did some that were extra affectionate treat me so horribly? I don't think this is love. Why did they not love me or want me even if I was rly good? Why am I the excluded one?

#myart #digitalart #abstract #blue #cartoon #deniz #me #comic #relatable #sad #depressing #vent #metaphor #theoceanblue :( Based on the song "Bye" by The Ocean Blue.

I find it really annoying when I say or ask something & the person I'm talking to misunderstands it or doesn't understand at all bc of their English being bad. I get that they can't help it but it's still really annoying to deal with. I don't show my annoyance. I'm grateful that my English is good.

Nevermind the stuff I said in 2025 about having a best friend&some positive stuff I said about an unnamed person. That lasted short. We became friends again in February 2025 (we were friends in 2012-2018) but stopped being friends in June. I was disillusioned. But good riddance!Vented here about it.

#myart #cartoon #digitalart #me #blue #deniz Me and some of the clothes I really have. (I tried to be as accurate as I could but I have more facial hair and body hair and I'm a bit bulkier in reality.)

#adventuretime #firewolf #snowgolem #lemonhope #myart #cute #fanart #cartoon #digitalart #forest #friends #snow #snowy #trees Snow Golem, Fire Wolf and Lemonhope from Adventure Time #happy, kind of suggested by Luca.

Flexing our matching pfps. Picked Sarah and Gumball because it feels unique/original. Luca is a cool friend! And yes, my profile details, including display name, are funny/weird on purpose.

I really hope TADC won't leave too much things unrevealed and unresolved when it ends. It would be like jacking me off but stopping before it starts feeling the best.

I already am. I am funny,smart, understanding, knowledged, open minded, talented, imaginative, chill & more. What am I missing?The right people? Luck? Ye,but they can't be the only things. Clean history?Full perfection? No,go burn & learn how life works instead of being unfair & asking for too much!

Bc of being a stupid jerk who is ungrateful about having me & seeing only their own point of view. Bc of being a sorry excuse of a person,failing basic decency. As much as I'd love to get those friends I had back, these are still true. Our friendships really were great & I really was a great friend.

Don’t plan too much, it may not come out right. I seriously keep this in mind.

This is kinda fixed by now. A while ago my mom started taking cleaning more seriously, the number of cats at home decreased (but still 10+), I keep my room's window open, and I take Zyrtec when I need to, a super helpful allergy pill, I haven't been badly sick for a few months. I'm thankful.

I wanted to join the suicide club, but it turned out all the members are dead.

I was the underclassman, I really didn't know that 1 and 1 was 2, 2 and 2 were 4. I really didn't know that. I was so young and so uncertain. Why is life so precious and so cruel?

Fuck my life, but my life isn't sexy.

It's not gay if you use a drill, and that's exactly what I'm going to do to you!

Let me keep your pubic hairs as souvenirs.

What's up? My name is Deniz. I'm 25 years old & guess what... I LOVE STOCKING (PASWG)! :squee: I'm such a huge fanboy of her! Deniz x Stocking is my OTP! :D Also.. I HATE VALENTINO (HH)! GRRR! If Valentino tries to steal me from Stocking, we will kick his ass. Also I have BPD & Futurophobia. /satire

I find it silly & hypocritical how some people think suicide is bad & never the answer but also think living/existing forever is *inherently* bad. Have I been seriously suicidal because of how horrid & hurtful my life has been? Yes. Would I want to live an everlasting *good* life? Also yes.

I don't take almost all affection to heart anymore. I feel like they don't know me well enough for it or they don't truly meant it. Affection also makes me feel unsafe, people who showed affection more hurt me badly & did horribly contradictory things. I don't feel it. It doesn't mean much to me.

I'm the opposite of people who became more negative to sexual stuff due to bad experiences. Not a SA victim but some bad things contributed to me becoming much more sexual. It is weird how I went from being sex-negative+repulsed to thinking I'm a big loser without genuine sexual success. It hurts.

We interacted≠we're friends. I hate how some people so quickly & easily assume we're friends bc of me behaving with basic decency & being willing to interact even if there isn't a real bond between us. Stop. That's not how it works. I'm like a customer service agent or a public-transport passenger.

I know different things work for different people but I find it silly (bad way) when people become more drawn to religion after doing terrible things. I didn't do that, I became more drawn to MYSELF & my thoughts instead. Worked very well, I became better by myself, by learning, growing, thinking.

If someone didn't expect from me to like Hazbin Hotel, it means they either don't know me well enough or don't know about the show well enough. I think it's too obvious I would, considering some parts of my personality, views & humour. (Someone saying it was unexpected happened just once. It's ok.)

I fucking love winter! I had such a nice time on snowy rides recently. Eating & drinking great stuff, listening to music, playing games, watching stuff, reading stuff, playing with toys, sightseeing, going to nice places feel extra awesome in winter too. Really having good times in my life.

It is interesting how Zeke from AOT looks like Pendleton Ward.

Ones who think like "I still care about you even if we can't be friends anymore" are silly. If you cared enough, we would still be friends. This kind of thing means they self-sabotaged by rejecting me despite my forgiveness or they're still unsafe to be friends with for me so I chose to stay away.

How to send long texts & how NOT to send long texts.

I could be much more famous now, but too bad I didn't want to continue being a [redacted] artist, that's not the type of fame I want. Maybe I would be a bit more famous if I made & posted content more than I did in these past years, but that has been easier said than done. I will try to try harder.

You betrayed me, you’re not good, you’re just a pussy, mew-mew-mew-mew-mew!

One of my cats really doesn't mind being carried by me, it's so adorable and awesome.

He still didn't interact at all since last February. I already gave up on him a while ago. I did put enough care & effort into the friendship, but what he gave me was disappearing & appearing whenever he feels like it. I didn't talk about this with him for now because he is absent, but I'm done.

My life has come to this point; 0 of my actual internet friends said happy birthday to me. It's because of having only 5 & them not seeing it as something important enough to keep track of & do something about, the friendships not being prioritised, close or good enough for that. This...feels wrong.

I mostly don't seek attention or be very in the face about my birthday. It's better if someone knows & remembers by themself. I have mixed thoughts on my birthday, but it can definitely make me feel loved & cared about if someone says happy birthday to me, depends on who & how it is done.

#myart #fanart #higurashinonakukoroni #anime #colourful #cartoon #cute #digitalart #friends #rikafurude #satokohojo #renaryuugu #ryuugurena #hojosatoko #furuderika Glad I drew a #whenthecicadascry related #art before January. Rika Furude, Satoko Hojo and Rena Ryuugu. What they're doing is up to you.