it is such a wonderful exhilarating, terrifying, fresh and unfamiliar feeling to open my journal and realise that finally it seems almost too simple to think of all the things I have #gratitude for and to see that instead of contempt I feel only deep appreciation at the fact I'm alive #vss365

poisonous roots heavy in my chest they spread across my insides tugging incessantly at my skin sprouting roots digging into bone I cry out with no sound walls push in darkness surrounds too much for me to hold these #regrets it's all I can do to lie here weeping cradling my hollow chest #vss365

Triviality sticks within my memory warm water flowing down my bones melodies sweet within my ear glinting sunlight flashing eyes days I wished could last forever toes stubbing obdurate furniture strings of words that I #recall but can't repeat to innocent ears #vss365

If AI creates an LLM in the middle of the woods, does anyone need to hear it?

the #memory of your hands holding me your touch lingering on my skin you trapped me here within your sins take them back they're yours not mine no longer will I hold this inside I refuse to continue holding all the blame along the truth I'll speak your name #vss365

clasping at #boho ideals colours gleam and I can breathe trickle of water crunch beneath feet; doesn't take much to make me feel complete #vss365

you taste #illicit on my tongue I cry for something sweeter if staying here is a mistake let's make it together #vss365

melancholy sinks in when winter hits the days grow shorter instead of longer and the world begins to lie down and hide I feel at home inside my skin cloaked inside the dusk, I thrive for when darkness surrounds me my #vespertine luminescence shines and finally, I come alive #vss365

melting into your soft touch I lost myself in glances intertwined hot breath persecuting every action broken faith seeping inside the acts you thought so #chivalrous filled my weakened veins with poison I escaped with just my life but filled with gratitude to be alive #vss365

Today is the most Monday-esque Wednesday I have ever experienced

my #aphotic existence is not a source of shame but a temporary state that should cause pride If even a fraction of the world's politicians spent half the time that I have exhausted in this gloomy zone maybe the world would be filled with more kindness and compassion than we could dream of #vss365

From the first moment I saw you, I knew I would always remember you. Your demeanour, so captivating, and the way your voice danced quietly across the air, reaching for my ear. (1/2) #vss365

It's easy to feel that you've run out of #options like the only open door has shut, trapping you inside a world of locks. When you find yourself in a predicament such as this remember that doors are not the only things that open. Fling ajar that window, and crawl for your dear life. #vss365

the bedding shifts beneath our bodies our breath escapes in unison smiles tugging at our lips, we stretch our limbs conjointly inside our bubble we are safe curled up beside our memories and if this isn't true #reality then I pray to never wake #vss365

you are not some goal i set for myself but a fragile hope that today might be better #goal #vss365

whenever you try to get anywhere in life remind yourself of the fact that it is life's way of teaching you resilience to constantly move the #goal posts to combat this remind yourself to leave a mark at every new goalpost so you can look back and show yourself how far you've truly come #vss365

Right now, it seems that no matter how hard I try, I never can quite get it right. No matter what I say or do, it will never be enough for you. I know I'll never make you see who I am, and that we'll never agree, still I'll #measure my self-worth only on what you think of me. #vss365

Read every word & share with everyone you know. This is real life here in Chicago. Americans need to know this grotesque reality & stand with us.

lose yourself in #literature let the words unfurl into your whole being; messages of hope and comfort, spreading from one brain to another lose yourself in stories let the ebb and flow of the protagonists' adventure lull you into a half-awake peaceful slumber of content (1/2) #vss365

I was never made for the #deluxe a life of luxury never interested me instead, I'll be found led beneath the trees leaves in my hair and mud slicked on my cheeks I've always found the price of extravagance to be far too dear; never has nature asked too much of me #vss365

memories of you stick like the sap crawling through my veins subduing the blood as it desperately tries to push through your #undertone that somehow manages to soil every single thing that ever brought me joy #vss365

what do I gotta do to be one of them frogs chilling under a toadstool

#libertine: 'a person, especially a man who freely indulges in sensual pleasures without regard to moral principle' I always found the use of the word 'man' curious it had been my experience that the women I met had filled me with much more liberation than any man could dream of #vss365

set me alight reduce me to #ash tell me you’re nothing without me punish me as often as you believe you can tell yourself that you don’t think about me just never forget I held you as you cried and I’ve seen exactly what you are inside #vss365

I tried so hard not to #clash with you but just as naturally as a wave smacking the cliffside our stubborn walls collided we couldn't see the sun for the clouds, instead we watched it all come crashing down #vss365

it is a day to be celebrated the day you finally #associate love with safety, warmth, and caring rather than defiance, sadness, and fear when that day comes we should celebrate you because you got yourself here as close to 'the other side' as it is possible to be #vss365

I just adore how the wind whipping through the forest trees outside my bedroom window mimics the sound of waves crashing against the shore.

I used to write for the right reasons, but I think I've been losing that recently. As a result, I've stopped writing. How do you reclaim the reasons you started writing? How do you quiet down the noise of everything else? I miss it, but I just can't find the energy to do it.

The guilt trap: When 'fun' starts to mean 'self worth'. 'Because the truth is that trauma is not linear. I know we hear it and we say it all the time, but we need to start believing it. I need to start believing it.' Read it here: buff.ly/BTwLe3G

The Trauma Grief Process: On the feelings you will encounter as you heal. Different types of grief come when you're healing from trauma, and they're all joined by the usual five stages. But then there are the extra stages. Read all about them here: buff.ly/bDXFJcq

I just love hanging out with my best friend 🐾

You are entitled to your grief: On the other feelings that grieving can bring up. A reflection on the emotions that come from bereavement in a dysfunctional family. Read it here: buff.ly/IKSpcdl

if trauma was a career field I'd surely be a #savant I can expertly read into every muscle twitch every despondent sigh every single movement to see if you're mad at me and if there is a trigger looming I'll greet it like an old friend but trauma isn't a career so I'll fix myself instead #vss365

We've entered the time of the year where I spend 85% of my time squinting against the sun and double-checking I've actually put my sunglasses on. What a time to live. #microverse #microtography

I thought I longed for summer, but now it's here, I realise I'm longing for a summer I already experienced. #microverse #microtography

I try to be tender to myself to radiate compassion through my bones the way I would for someone else when I remember how you taught me to love someone is to feel like a #boxer losing my most important match cowering in the corner needing to escape yet knowing that I never could #vss365

The irony of it all was my #hamartia was obscure Greek words. #vss365

mood.

why did this make me laugh

I always thought my Achilles #heel was that I was too sensitive, too emotional, too much and yet not enough. Now I know my true weakness was opening my heart to those who did not promise not to break it, but expecting that they wouldn't anyway. #vss365

I never felt at home in the place I was born it never made me feel safe or warm or comfortable I could never revel in the fact I knew every street like the back of my hand; it made my skin feel it was stretched too tight so, like the #patriot I am, I fled to find a life elsewhere. #vss365

#Nostalgia does not comfort me It does not serve to spend my time dreaming of days I happily left behind I don’t want to recall the pain of the subcutaneous ‘love’ that still circulates my veins or fantasise about what I often would use to numb myself completely away from my childhood #vss365

take it easy, one day at a time it's even better if you make it rhyme ignore the #primordial need to fast grow instead, inhale long, then exhale slow can't yet 'treat yourself like a best friend' but I promise we will get there in the end #vss365

as each day goes by I feel myself #shed away the remains of you as each week goes by I feel the hold you had on me begin to diminish and die and as each month goes by I forget why I even loved you at all and why I would ever let your words dictate the way I feel about myself #vss365

most days I find myself having to #scrape together the effort to even make it out of my bed but that's alright I know it won't be forever I know that one day I'll be back until then I'll stay, waiting here understanding that really I'm slowly making my return #vss365

"I once thought I wanted it all to #stop too, not that long ago." "What changed? How did you start wanting to stay?" "I had to find my inner ember and stoke it until it became a small fire again. I still have to do this every day. It isn't easy, and it wasn't fast. But it was worth it." #vss365

#spring is almost over I think time is moving too fast I don't know if it's due to growing older if it's because of my past but the days are getting shorter when they should be growing longer and I can't help but feel that I'm trapped, treading this water #vss365

nature is beautiful. nature is terrifying. nature is our teacher, our pupil, our mother, and our friend. nature is everything. #microverse #microtography