I do wonder how many wedding speeches were written with AI

Never want to do that again

I’ve learnt my sister paid a ‘witch’ on Etsy to make the weather good for her wedding today. No, she hasn’t seen Obsession.

Not gonna lie, feeling very anxious today

I wonder what my sick child shoving his whole bloody hand in my mouth will lead to

As fascism continues to rise, I’m really not looking forward to being surrounded by people from North Queensland

TIL babies can get hand-foot-mouth disease very quickly after recovering from their previous bout with the same disease

‘Coalition of Chaos’ is a phrase that makes me want to check my Seek account

Everything’s a bloody coalition of chaos

Feeling pretty good at the moment but am aware that will likely disappear at my sister’s wedding next weekend

Ok, I nominate myself as Karl Stefanovic’s replacement. Don’t read my previous posts.

I may have fucked up seeing Leviticus today, but I’ve been pretty productive. Could the problem the entire time been lack of oxygen in the brain?

First night with a CPAP machine. My nostrils feel weird

Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville and I’m gonna call the teacher mum

Just saw Obsession. I’m never making a wish again. If anyone puts candles on my birthday cake, I will throw myself through a glass door.

Book I read that I thought had the liminal vibes that Backrooms fans. The Facades by Eric Lundgren. Man Half-heartedly searches for missing opera star wife in odd town. Librarians form militia because local government cuts funding. Recommended.

Drop something black and white

Pauline Hanson wants to ban St Patrick’s Day.

It’s ok to leave Pauline Hanson in a hot car.

Um, I saw Aaron Gocs at the library. Definitely not the first person I expected to see today. Am I being stitched up?

Had my sleep study results explained better. I’m a light sleeper. Like Willem Dafoe in the Paul Schrader film Light Sleeper. I’m going to prison at the end of this.

So, didn’t make any videos, didn’t watch movies. Did chores, looked at things I’m likely not gonna attend, slept. I guess small victories are something

First solo morning at home in months. This is weird. You mean I only have to wipe just my bum after poopies?

Gotta say, I’ve had a pretty good week. I feel like I’ve got a bit of energy back. Little mate just started daycare, so he’s been tuckered out. I wonder if it’s related.

Charlie ‘please stop disagreeing with me so vocally’ Pickering

Dave Hughes gets a lot of hate. But having interviewed him I can also tell you he’s not very interesting either

Brisbane is cold because David Crisafulli has banned summer

Mr Beast is flying the national flag upside-down after getting nervous around a pregnant woman

It’s probably not good that I have to book a psychology appointment for after my sister’s wedding, is it?

This Queensland Day, remember to paint your door so the demonic ghost of Joh Bjelke-Peterson passes you. You’ll know he’s coming when you smell pumpkin scones

Euphoria should’ve had a character ask Zendaya if their name was Euphoria and she’d say ‘no’

Part of me wants to suggest my work do a Backrooms post, but I also remember one post I made got rejected because they didn’t know what Severance was

I reckon Backrooms was about magnets

“Kane Parsons is 20” “Curry Barker is 26” My fucking back hurts.

I keep up with the youth and their lingo, but now I’m taking the day off work due to a sore back. It’s not very skibidi.

I backroom

How many State Of Origin players you reckon have drunk their own urine? It’s gotta be more than one, right?

AI Ozzy Osbourne told me to mail my semen to the Democrats

AI Ozzy Osbourne told be to put the scissors in my eyes

I started watching an Ira Sachs film but then I had to poop and now it’s late 😢 No one has had it harder than me

"the go the fuck to sleep baby is a they / them going to Bard, feel old yet???"

Seated for new Lav Diaz. At 3 hours it’s his shortest, but it’ll still likely wreck me.

I like to think Paul Schrader’s AI girlfriend left him for Richard Dawkins

Eddie Macguire and Karl Stefanovic just gonna be vomiting in each other’s mouth

Christopher Nolan should be whiter. Blindingly white. I should even have difficulty looking at him in my peripheral. That’s the man that should be directing The Odyssey.

Man asked for book rec for son. I asked what he’s enjoyed in the past, and he said Runt by Craig Silvey. I suggested Andy Griffiths’ The Day My Bum Went Psycho, but apparently that was too much for him. But Craig Silvey was a-ok.

He once shushed me at work. My revenge is a slow-cooked meal.

Found out a boss is into biohacking, but he can’t bio hack himself a personality

Can’t wait for Hughesy to let loose on the Royal Commission

I feel like I’m too negative these days, so here’s some positives over the last few days: - son is delightful - partner is super supportive of me and helping - good physio appointment - impressed Irish customers with my Gaeilge - delighted kids and parents with storytime session