Tim Byrnes
@timbyrneses.bsky.social
📤 572
📥 625
📝 3129
Everyone’s favourite rascal
https://linktr.ee/timbyrneses
I do wonder how many wedding speeches were written with AI
1 day ago
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Never want to do that again
1 day ago
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I’ve learnt my sister paid a ‘witch’ on Etsy to make the weather good for her wedding today. No, she hasn’t seen Obsession.
2 days ago
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Not gonna lie, feeling very anxious today
3 days ago
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I wonder what my sick child shoving his whole bloody hand in my mouth will lead to
6 days ago
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As fascism continues to rise, I’m really not looking forward to being surrounded by people from North Queensland
7 days ago
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TIL babies can get hand-foot-mouth disease very quickly after recovering from their previous bout with the same disease
8 days ago
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‘Coalition of Chaos’ is a phrase that makes me want to check my Seek account
10 days ago
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Everything’s a bloody coalition of chaos
10 days ago
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Feeling pretty good at the moment but am aware that will likely disappear at my sister’s wedding next weekend
11 days ago
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Ok, I nominate myself as Karl Stefanovic’s replacement. Don’t read my previous posts.
11 days ago
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I may have fucked up seeing Leviticus today, but I’ve been pretty productive. Could the problem the entire time been lack of oxygen in the brain?
13 days ago
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First night with a CPAP machine. My nostrils feel weird
13 days ago
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Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville and I’m gonna call the teacher mum
13 days ago
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Just saw Obsession. I’m never making a wish again. If anyone puts candles on my birthday cake, I will throw myself through a glass door.
14 days ago
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Book I read that I thought had the liminal vibes that Backrooms fans. The Facades by Eric Lundgren. Man Half-heartedly searches for missing opera star wife in odd town. Librarians form militia because local government cuts funding. Recommended.
14 days ago
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Drop something black and white
add a skeleton here at some point
17 days ago
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Pauline Hanson wants to ban St Patrick’s Day.
18 days ago
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It’s ok to leave Pauline Hanson in a hot car.
19 days ago
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Um, I saw Aaron Gocs at the library. Definitely not the first person I expected to see today. Am I being stitched up?
19 days ago
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Had my sleep study results explained better. I’m a light sleeper. Like Willem Dafoe in the Paul Schrader film Light Sleeper. I’m going to prison at the end of this.
20 days ago
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So, didn’t make any videos, didn’t watch movies. Did chores, looked at things I’m likely not gonna attend, slept. I guess small victories are something
21 days ago
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First solo morning at home in months. This is weird. You mean I only have to wipe just my bum after poopies?
21 days ago
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Gotta say, I’ve had a pretty good week. I feel like I’ve got a bit of energy back. Little mate just started daycare, so he’s been tuckered out. I wonder if it’s related.
22 days ago
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Charlie ‘please stop disagreeing with me so vocally’ Pickering
22 days ago
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Dave Hughes gets a lot of hate. But having interviewed him I can also tell you he’s not very interesting either
25 days ago
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Brisbane is cold because David Crisafulli has banned summer
26 days ago
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Mr Beast is flying the national flag upside-down after getting nervous around a pregnant woman
27 days ago
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It’s probably not good that I have to book a psychology appointment for after my sister’s wedding, is it?
27 days ago
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This Queensland Day, remember to paint your door so the demonic ghost of Joh Bjelke-Peterson passes you. You’ll know he’s coming when you smell pumpkin scones
29 days ago
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Euphoria should’ve had a character ask Zendaya if their name was Euphoria and she’d say ‘no’
about 1 month ago
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Part of me wants to suggest my work do a Backrooms post, but I also remember one post I made got rejected because they didn’t know what Severance was
about 1 month ago
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I reckon Backrooms was about magnets
about 1 month ago
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“Kane Parsons is 20” “Curry Barker is 26” My fucking back hurts.
about 1 month ago
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I keep up with the youth and their lingo, but now I’m taking the day off work due to a sore back. It’s not very skibidi.
about 1 month ago
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I backroom
about 1 month ago
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How many State Of Origin players you reckon have drunk their own urine? It’s gotta be more than one, right?
about 1 month ago
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AI Ozzy Osbourne told me to mail my semen to the Democrats
about 1 month ago
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AI Ozzy Osbourne told be to put the scissors in my eyes
about 1 month ago
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I started watching an Ira Sachs film but then I had to poop and now it’s late 😢 No one has had it harder than me
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Tim Byrnes
Caræsten 🇵🇸
about 1 month ago
"the go the fuck to sleep baby is a they / them going to Bard, feel old yet???"
add a skeleton here at some point
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Seated for new Lav Diaz. At 3 hours it’s his shortest, but it’ll still likely wreck me.
about 1 month ago
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I like to think Paul Schrader’s AI girlfriend left him for Richard Dawkins
about 2 months ago
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Eddie Macguire and Karl Stefanovic just gonna be vomiting in each other’s mouth
about 2 months ago
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Christopher Nolan should be whiter. Blindingly white. I should even have difficulty looking at him in my peripheral. That’s the man that should be directing The Odyssey.
about 2 months ago
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Man asked for book rec for son. I asked what he’s enjoyed in the past, and he said Runt by Craig Silvey. I suggested Andy Griffiths’ The Day My Bum Went Psycho, but apparently that was too much for him. But Craig Silvey was a-ok.
about 2 months ago
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He once shushed me at work. My revenge is a slow-cooked meal.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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Found out a boss is into biohacking, but he can’t bio hack himself a personality
about 2 months ago
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Can’t wait for Hughesy to let loose on the Royal Commission
about 2 months ago
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I feel like I’m too negative these days, so here’s some positives over the last few days: - son is delightful - partner is super supportive of me and helping - good physio appointment - impressed Irish customers with my Gaeilge - delighted kids and parents with storytime session
about 2 months ago
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